20 month old DS screaming at bedtime

[Leah67]

So, DS#1 is not terrified of the bed - just doesn't want to go to bed.  When we do the wi part of wi/wo, he stops crying immediately, and says "hello! uppy?".

Problem is, each time we do wi/wo, he screams more and louder, and gets more upset, if we wait 5 minutes, (I know, I know, it's kind of CIO, but sometiems DS#2 is crying too and I have to settle him down!!), he seems to settle down on his own.

So, since we accept that some babies cry themselves to sleep (in the sense of a mantra cry, not a CRY!), is it possible this little monkey needs to, too?

Routine:  we bath, brush his teeth, read books, cuddle and talk about his day.  Then, into the crib and put his babies to bed.  etc.  Everything is fine until we say "goodnight."  Even before we leave he starts crying...Oye..

He was so good, used to say "bye-bye", and just settle down!

Oh, and he wakes up at 5:30 AM, too!

We've tried both earlier bedtimes, and later bedtimes.  Neither seems to work.

Anyone?

[LisaM]

Hi

We had a similiar thing happen a few months back (dd just turned 2 now), she was totally fine until I left the room and then went mad screaming and crying.  I think that it was more a test for us and she was protesting about going to bed than she was truly upset.  The first couple of nights I did go back to the room and stayed there til she was asleep cos I thought maybe she was sick but it carried on so we started just talking to her calmly outside of the door and telling her it was bedtime etc.  Sometimes she went calm quite quickly other times it took a while and occasionally I did go back in to calm her down but then left the room again.  This probably went on for about 3 weeks in total and then things went back to normal!!  So weird these little phases.  Just waiting for another one to start!!

Good luck I hope things get better.

Lisa

[alyssa1]

My son (16months) will do the same thing when we initially leave the room but then if left alone will settle himself down.  I don't go back in because it just starts over again.  We do wi/wo if needed but we allow 5-10 min. as well to see if he will settle on his own.  Same as yours, he only does his tired cry but lets out a good one when we first leave the room.  I feel that he just wants to see if we will stay??  We never do - don't want to start that.  After a few min. he settles down and lays down to sleep.
I would stick to what you have been doing unless he is crying hard for a long time - I wouldn't let that happen. Hope that helps.

[Leah67]

Thanks, guys.  It's good to know others have been through it, and it will likely go away, (although, like you said, another phase will arrive!).

I was just worried that if we didn't do the wi/wo, that it would be CIO, and that's not good.  But, like you, I think at this stage they are testing you, and by entering the room when he screams, he's learning that all he has to do is cry to get up, KWIM?

Of course, if he was really upset, I'll go in, but I think we'll try the 5-10 mins.  Like you, when that has happened, he seems to settle himself down in that 5 minute period.  Last night, for instance, I told him that his daddy would come to seem him again, and to lie down and wait for him.  He did that, and there was nary a peep.  But, I didn't want to lose his trust and have him think I "lied" about his dad coming in, so I told him to go in there.....Well, the whole thing started again!  Fun times, eh?

[alyssa1]

Honestly, that's why we really try hard not to go back into his room.  He cries initially when we leave but then is able to settle after a few min. with just his tired on and off cry.  If we go back in, it just prolongs sleep and we start again.  Sometimes it takes him 15min. to get to sleep or longer but there is very little crying (just on and off) and he does go to sleep on his own.  I don't think you want to prolong your lo's sleep and it sounds to me that if you always go back in, that's what will happen.  I feel that some of us do the wi/wo but allow more time to settle inbetween going back in because our lo's are used to getting to sleep without anyone in the room.  I have never viewed this as CIO - because if he was crying hard/long I would go to him and it sounds like you would too.