Okay, yes, as long as he is overall healthy and gaining weight and has no medical problems, then he should be feeding every 3 hrs. You could use the paci to hold him off or some activity to distract him. Once he falls into the 3 hr routine, he'll take fuller feeds and his body will adapt. Then his naps should probably fall after about 1.25 hrs from each wake time. You'll want to start your winddown routine hopefully before you see his sleepy cues, or right away when you do. You're doing good to get him to sleep on his own. You might try comforting him in his crib rather than picking him up, as sometimes that can be stimulating for his age. However, if it works well for you, go with it. Then, use the same technique to extend his nap when he wakes at the 45 min mark. Actually, if he always wakes at that point, go to him at the 35-40 min mark and be prepared to lay a hand on him, shh him, pat, whatever works as he is coming out of the sleep cycle. Hopefully, this will help him transition back to sleep. Now, it may not work the first time, and it may take a week of doing it at every nap, but you will see results. You should keep him in his sleep environment trying to return him to sleep until the next feed is due, or for 40 mins, which ever comes first. If you have to get him up before the feed is due, keep the activity very low key and to a minimum, afterall, this should be his rest time. If he only has a short nap, he will need his next nap sooner after his feed b/c he will have already had some A time (A time is the total of all awake time between naps, including feedings). At his age, he will probably need to nap every 1.25-1.5 hrs, or sooner since he is probably in a cycle of overtiredness.
As for nighttime, you will need to put him to bed 11-12 hrs from the morning wake up time. Let him attempt to resettle in the night before you feed him. He is at the age where he can go longer stretches without a feed, so see if he can do it on his own. Of course, if he's crying, you should help him. But if you can snuggle him, give him a paci, and pat him back to sleep, then he's not hungry. If, however, he wakes again in an hour, for example, crying, then he's hungry. If he is sleeping next to you, this can be hard b/c every noise probably wakes you. Keep in mind, though, that babies are not quiet sleepers, and most of those noises are just normal baby noises. He may even cry out in his sleep and not fully wake, or he may be gassy and grunt or groan, but he could still be asleep or fall back asleep on his own.
As for your breastfeeding concerns, I urge you to seek the advice of a lactation consultant, or use our Breastfeeding Forum for advice and/or support. It is something you can continue to do, even if you feel there might be a flow problem. There is help available to correct a suspected problem so that you don't have to discontinue the bfing. Please don't hesitate to seek assistance with that.
