starting EASY with a 5 mo old 45 min napper

[winston]

I am at my wits end Jackson is 5 mo and is a 45 min napper. He is exhausted when he wakes up and lasts only for about 1hr to 1 hr 30. I can read his sleep cues. yawning, rubbing eyes and general crabbiness. I want to start EASY but I need help. It seems he can only have a long nap 1 hr + in the big bed with me helping him to get back to sleep with pat shh..actually shh and rubbing chest. We use a noise machine which is a babbling brook and it works quite well, blocks out noise. It seems his only cue/routine from me that its time for sleep is sitting in his room with him in cradle position and soother in. He cries on and off if he is ready to sleep and we just sit. After the 7 mile stare and his eyes are opening and closing I put him in his crib and rub and shhh till asleep. or most movement stops.

I need some ideas for a bedtime and naptime routine and some winding down ideas. Swaddling is out as he detested it from 5 days old. A very wiggly boy. His  room has blackout blinds but light still comes in the sides. Curtains are needed. He is breast feed exclusively and we will start solids around 6 mo.

He usually wakes at night at 11:30, 1:30, 5 am and 6 am up for the day.

A normal day for us is

6 am E
to mom's bed to snuggle/play/nap
7:45 ready for bed
8:30 E
10 nap
11 E
1 nap
2 Eat
4 nap
5:30 - 6 Eat and bed

as you can tell the only thing constant is eating every 3 hours, maybe  not so much because he wants it bu because I feed him. But if it gets closer to 4 he tells me he is really hungry. He eats quickly about 10 min and done 1 boob only. I have tried w2s to extend the 45 min naps to no avail. He doesn't like p/up p/down goes mental.Jackson is spirited/touchy but grumpy when he is overstimulated.When he's up at night he's up only to eat and then goes to sleep right away. no help from me is needed. 

[Darker]

Wish I could offer some assistance, but I think that we're in the same boat.   Just picked up BW and Solves all your problems from the library this morning.   Tim is 6 months old on Saturday, great night sleeper (mostly) but a shocker in the day.

I'm hoping to see lots of practical tips here on the boards.  Though having read that there are a few ladies implementing BW at 6 or so months... seems like I might be "in for   it"  for a week or more     

[LŠuren]

Winson
Here is another similar post running at the same time with similar 45mion nap isues.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=61613.0
Lauren

[HeatherC]

Winston, it would probably help if you feed him every 4 hrs, and have him down for a nap every 2 hrs.  Do your best to extend the naps, it can take weeks, but you have to be extremely consistant.  Otherwise, it won't work and he'll continue to take short naps.  You are doing the winddown correctly.  If rubbing his belly and ssshing help him get off to sleep, then you should do that to extend each nap as well.  With a spirited baby, you'll find that setting his nap times for him will be a big help as sometimes their sleepy cues can be misread.
Hope some of this helps.  Please let us know how things go.

[winston]

so far so good  today. this is what it looks like so far

6:30 wake eat
7:30 nap with me in the big bed
9:45 wake eat
11:05 wind down sit in his rocking chair and sing a few quiet songs and rock
11:24 sleep on his own in crib 1 extension at 30 min for 10 min
1:00 wake eat
2:30 wind down sit in his rocking chair and sing a few quiet songs and rock
3:20 sleep on his own in crib....1 extension at 30 min for 10 min
5:00 wake eat
6:20 upstairs diaper change, pj's on, eat same wind down
6:45 asleep

this is going really well so far. I'll tell you in the morning how the night went

[HeatherC]

Winston, that is wonderful.  Please keep doing the nap extensions, it will really pay off and soon it will be a distant memory and he'll be able to put himself back to sleep.  You're doing great!

[winston]

this morning he went down for his nap at 8 and slept till 8:45 I tried to extend but that didn't happen. We stayed in bed till 10 and he played with his feet. I fed him at 10 now what??

[HeatherC]

We stayed in bed till 10 and he played with his feet.

Does this mean you left him in his crib, brought him to your bed with you, or he was napping in your bed with you to start with? 

AFter the 10 feeding, he will probably be ready for his nap sooner, and you might have EshortASshortASE, meaning possibly 2 naps if they are short in one cycle, especially since he will need to nap sooner in the cycle.  You need him to catch back up on his sleep so he doesn't become overtired by the evening.

[winston]

he was nappig in bed with me to start with. he went down at 11:30 and is up at 1 so I will try to get him to sleep before he Eats again at 2? If he goes down for a nap every 2 hrs you mean eat at 10 nap at 12 eat at 2 nap at 4? How long should the nap extensions last for? time period? Is the goal for him to sleep for 2 hours each nap?

[HeatherC]

Well, since he napped for 1.5hrs, he's probably good for that cycle, but since he's up an hour before the next feeding, you'll need to consider that in your total A time again when considering the next time.  As for timing of naps, every 2 hrs would be based on a 4 hr feeding schedule, assuming he can stay awake for 2 hrs.  He might be only able to tolerate 1.75 hrs of A time, and that's fine.  He might not sleep all the way to the next feed on that routine each time, but a 1.5-2 hr nap each cycle would be your goal.  So, say he's up at 8 am, will be ready to nap by 9:45-10, hopefully sleep somewhere 11:30-12, eat at 12, ready for next nap 1:30-2, hopefully nap until 3:30 -4, eat at 4.  That is a very broad generalization and does not mean he should be sleeping that long.  But, of course, you want to try to get him to sleep past the first 45 min cycle, and should try for at least 40 mins.

[winston]

that is great thanks so much for your help and quick responses.

I fed him at 1:15 and he slept from 2:15 till 4. so I should keep the e time constant at 4 hours and try to get him to sleep after he's been awake for approx 1.75 to 2 hrs.

I am now going to try and feed him at 5, we'll see if he can make it and not get too crusty. If he doesn't sleep all the way to the next feed what is the response? Feed at the 4 hr mark or feed shortly after he wakes up?

[HeatherC]

While you can be flexible throughout the day with your feeding intervals (some 3.5 hrs, some 4 hrs) you want to remain fairly consistant.  This will give you a marker to go by, will help him regulate his hunger and sleep needs.   Basically, at 5 months old, he should be able to go 4 hrs between feeds, but if you feel he's not there yet, do 3.5 hrs.  Also, the evenings can get hairy as lo's tend to get cranky, so closer feeds are sometimes necessary to get enough in before bedtime, too. 
Is he going to bed at 6 pm still?  Are you doing the df?  If so, I'd do that around 10.  Since his days start at 6 am, he's having a 12 hr day even though it seems early b/c of the 6 pm bedtime.  But his body should regulate to sleep through from the 6 pm bedtime.  I would try the df in hopes of ending the middle of the night feeds.