Author Topic: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!  (Read 6237 times)

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Offline Missy Lou

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #30 on: June 08, 2006, 17:39:46 pm »
I just wanted to make it clear that I wasn't trying to give advice.  I definitely don't think I know more about babies than an expert or these moderators.  I just wanted to let you know that even with my lo's digestive problems and my accidental parenting, we're doing tons better than just a couple of months ago.  I wanted to give you an example how drastically things can change even though that probably doesn't matter much to you now or maybe you don't really believe it will get better because I didn't.  I thought my lo would never be able to put herself to sleep or that she'd ever fall asleep in public or at someone else's house, but now she does.

Offline MicheleOH

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #31 on: June 15, 2006, 19:56:04 pm »
mlee,

you are an angel. Finally someone that understands! No offense to all the other wonderful, insightful moms who have offered substantial suggestions. I'm truly grateful...but nothing has worked!

Your situation sounds exactly like what I'm going through. The only way I can survive, and my ds can get any sleep, is when I hold him and rock him. He has so much gas that he wakes up frequently, but when I'm holding him, I can help him right away and keep him semi-asleep. Whenever I try and lay him down, he wakes almost immediately in pain. And when he does sleep longer, he wakes early (only 1-1/2 to 2 hrs. between feeds) whereas he used to sleep 3 hrs. btw. feeds..or more at night. I've also tried a swing and that helps sometimes. At least he gets 45-60 min. sleep when he's in the swing.

I have also been miserable. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that cries at least once every day, hating being a mom. (Don't get me wrong...I do love my son...but I'm just beside myself with frustration and feelings of helplessness right now.) I get so mad at all the people who say congratulations and how wonderful it is...because it is not wonderful right now.

It gives me great hope to know that things worked themselves out for you eventually...especially coming from someone who went through the same thing. I'm very worried that our ds is going to get addicted to props--the swing, passy, our arms--but I honestly don't know how else to survive right now as we have tried *everything* else.

As far as my husband and I swapping shifts so we can get sleep...how do you do that when you breastfeed? It takes about 45-60 minutes a feed, after I've diapered him, burped him, and tried to get him calm. If he wakes after 2-1/2 hrs., then that only gives me 1-1/2 hrs. sleep before I have to feed him again. And that's if he actually sleeps. Usually we have to stay awake with him until the next feed because he won't sleep.

Thank you again for your empathy. It really helped me in a way that no one else seemed to be able to help.

Oh--I made an appointment with a pediatric gastroeterologist for tomorrow morning. Our family practitioner (we don't have an official pediatrician) has been no help whatsover, just telling me that all babies digestive systems are immature and we have to ride this out. I feel like I need some more professional help, so I just made the appointment myself. I'll let you know how it goes! Here's hoping for some relief or assistance!




Offline Mum to Ella Rose

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #32 on: June 15, 2006, 20:07:50 pm »
I think that's great that you are seeing a GI!  :D And please don't worry about props until you rule out anything medical and get the pain under control. You have to do what you have to do to get your baby (and you!) some rest. You'll find a lot of us mums of refluxers here have done a lot of "accidental parenting" too until our bubs were no longer in pain. You can sort it out later and you will find all the help you could want here when the time is right.

{{hugs}} and please do let us know how you get on tomorrow!

Sharon
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Ella Rose November 20, 2004
Alexander James March 19, 2008

Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #33 on: June 15, 2006, 20:32:02 pm »
Oh my goodness, yes it's fantastic that you're seeing a GI!! As Sharon says, just do whatever you need to do to get everyone through until you get the situation sorted out!  :-*  And keep us posted!
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline Missy Lou

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #34 on: June 16, 2006, 16:28:31 pm »
I've been waiting to see how things were going with you.  From watching Addison (my DD), I've learned that by keeping her on a routine and trying to understand her cries (which the routine will help with), she has progressed on her own.  We still have issues - like right now trying to transition to 4 hour EASY and sleeping through the night.  She gets very impatient with me and has become very vocal when she disapproves of something  :P  But this book and website help out so much.  I re-read the book and post questions and then take the suggestions and usually have to tweak it to Addison's personality - another thing that this website has taught me.   I have learned so much patience in the past 4 months.  I still get aggravated when it's 6 in the morning and I am SO tired and would do anything to sleep in but then I go into her room and she sees me and starts wiggling and smiling and I'm like who needs sleep.  It's a lot harder when it's like they don't even recognize you yet.  The only thing Addison did it seemed was cry when she saw me.  I swear I thought she was going to cry her whole life.  But once her digestive system matured and worked itself out, her personality was completely different. 

I nursed Addison until she was 10 weeks.  In those 10 weeks, I did all of the feeding and it was exhausting.  I had the same schedule you did.  By the time I got her to sleep, I would only have about 45 minutes to myself before it was time for her to eat again.  I wasn't able to put her on EASY until we started formula.  She had to eat every 2 hours when I was nursing.  She'd eat, I'd change her diaper and then talk to her for about 10 minutes and then swaddle her up and rock her to sleep.  It wasn't until she started on formula that she could go 3 hours between eating and that took a week or so to get her used to waiting that long between feeds.  Some of the other mothers with more experience might know better how to do EASY while nursing.  I never figured it out. 
There were many 2 hour periods that Addison didn't sleep at all either.  I'm not sure but I may have been keeping her up too long and then she was overtired.  Have you tried changing him first (especially at night since this always tended to wake Addison up fully) and then feeding him?  After feeding, maybe you could immediately swaddle him and start trying to put him to sleep.  I'm sure I tried that with Addison and it didn't always work.  There were so many days that I was up with a crying baby or up rocking a baby for 20 hours or so.  My back hurt so bad.  There were a few times that I put Addison in her crib and took a shower so I wouldn't hear her crying.  That probably made things worse for the moment because she'd get so upset and it would take even longer to calm her down.  It was so hard.  It was hard to remember what a wonderful gift I'd been given. 

I didn't do this but if your husband is willing to do the split sleeping time, I would pump and put the breast milk in the refrigerator for him to feed your son during that period.  Hopefully, you and your husband will get some uninterrupted sleep at least for a few hours.

Please post as soon as you have a minute and let us know how the appointment went.  Please e-mail me if you want to vent.  I promise to not think you're a bad mom (I never told anyone I personally know how bad I felt in those first couple of months.  I was so unhappy but I felt like a terrible person.  I hated people telling me congratulations and that it's so wonderful when they're that little.  I thought it's not so wonderful.  She's unhappy, I'm unhappy.)  Anyway, try your best to do a basic routine.  It really helps out to have them on one even if the routine isn't always on track.  Also, Addison peed and pooped like a super star when she was 8 weeks and younger.  We would go through a pack in a couple of days.  It does lessen as she got older.  But it was really expensive for the first several weeks.  I don't know where you live, but we used Wal-mart's brand of diapers.  They were cheaper and did just fine.  Really the diaper was only in use for an hour or so before she needed to be changed again.  BUt I did change her a lot because I figured a crying, colicky baby with diaper rash would be worse.

Offline Missy Lou

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #35 on: June 16, 2006, 16:35:57 pm »
I see you and I are the only ones viewing this board right now but I can't send you a message or anything (I'm not very computer literate).  You can also call me if you want and I can call you back.  I looked at your profile and see that you live in Ohio.  I can call within the US for a set fee so it's not long distance for me.  Just e-mail me if you ever want my number.

Offline MicheleOH

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #36 on: June 17, 2006, 14:48:48 pm »
Hello all. I promised an update after the doctor visit...

After seeing the GI yesterday, we've determined that our ds does indeed have reflux. (Our first child did too...didn't think I'd have another refluxer...sigh.) We didn't think he had reflux because he doesn't spit up a ton, he's just unbelievably gassy! But, she said the reflux could still be coming up his esophagus, just not out his mouth. She prescribed Pepcid and we started giving it to him yesterday. She also recommended:

1) Keeping him elevated for 30 min. after each feed
2) Putting him to sleep in an elevated head position (at a 45º angle, like in a car seat)
3) Cutting out all gassy foods from my diet and spicy foods (in addition to cutting out dairy and soy, which I'm already doing).
4) Giving him "tummy time" to help expell gas. She suggested putting him face-down on my knees, so he's looking at the floor (put something on floor for him to look at while doing that), while rocking him back and forth.
5) Smaller feedings (pop him off sooner)
6) Burp him more frequently
7) Stick to a regular feeding schedule (at least 2 to 2-1/2 hrs. btw. feeds)

As wearying as it is, I've been keeping him up for that 30 minutes. I have one of those snuggly baby carriers and he seems to really like it. I can make dinner, do laundry and other things while holding him in that thing. Problem is he usually falls asleep right after feeding then, which is too early! I need to keep him up for a while longer, otherwise he won't sleep until his next feed.

At night we still put him in the bassinet, slightly elevated, but we've been trying to have him nap in the swing or in his "bouncy seat" (don't know what you officially call those) during the day. It's still a pain and a half to get him to sleep, but I did notice slight improvement.

Re: diet, I've been trying really hard to cut out dairy and soy, but I wasn't thinking about certain spicy or irritating foods like onions and garlic. I LOVE spices and garlic, so I pour them into everything! The GI suggested using garlic powder instead of garlic cloves. She also gave me a handout on foods to stay away from. I knew things like broccoli and beans were bad news, but I didn't realize mushrooms were included in the gas causing foods! (I also eat a ton of mushrooms...love em!)

The GI seemed to think that my milk supply is overabundant (I do leak all the time!) and that part of the problem is that ds is actually eating too much! He pees like crazy, and is growing at an unbelievable rate, which both support the idea that he's eating quite well, if not too much. I don't demand feed, so it's not that I feed him too frequently. She suggested that I take him off the breast a little sooner. (I would leave him on for about 12-13 min per side...she suggested try 10 min.) And sometimes I would feed him after 2 hrs. or after 2-1/2 hrs. because he was crying like crazy and I just wanted to try and calm him down. She suggested having him wait a bit, as giving him more food that soon would actually make him more irritable.

So, we'll see if any of this works. It was nice to at least have a professional acknowledge & validate our concerns, while giving us some helpful advice and the medicine!

Thank you again to everyone for your help. :)


Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #37 on: June 17, 2006, 17:08:01 pm »
Aw Michele, I'm sorry to hear that, but at the same time it's great news that there's a REASON for all your troubles and it can be treated! In a few days I bet your lo will be a new baby!! Definitely visit us on the reflux board, it's a great resource and support system too!

About the tummy time though... some refluxers absolutely hate tummy time because it can give them heartburn in that position. Mine did, that's for sure. So if it doesn't work, don't push it!
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline LottieB

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #38 on: June 17, 2006, 20:49:41 pm »
Hi, you have been given some really great advice and you have had some very specific answers.  My third babe is now 15 weeks old.  He is my second baby whispered baby. I baby whispered my daughter who is now 22 months and she was totally angel baby.  My little boy is not so angelic in this respect (but is in every other!)... I spent the first 8 weeks taking him in bed with me every now and then. If he cried for longer than 5 minutes then I picked him up and lay next to him.  Sometimes he went to sleep like this (after more crying) and sometimes I did and woke to find him still bawling.  I figured that if I'd fed him, winded him, he had a clean nappy then I would just lie there and cuddle him to sleep.  In those first 6-7 weeks, sometimes he would fall asleep in the crib and wake up and go back to sleep happily in there and sometimes he wouldn't.  When he wouldn't then it was in bed with me.  Don't worry at this age about a pattern developing.  They are so tiny I really don't think it does.  Personally I would never wake a sleeping baby at this age, I think that they only wake up in a grumpy mood and they are sleeping because they are tired.  The only thing I really tried not do do was to feed him to sleep (although I did do this sometimes if nothing else worked).  By 7-8 weeks my baby was more predictable/settled and so I started putting him to bed at the same time each night in his crib, 7 weeks on he is still sleeping in there and never in our bed and mainly sleeps very well.  All I am saying is don't get yourslef all stressed (like I did sometimes) about him not being in a schedule or sleeping in his crib, go a bit instinctively as well.  The best advice someone on this website gave me was to try not to do the same prop all the time but to do different ones and then they don't become a habit.  A baby crying next to his mummy on a bed is at least next to his mummy and you might just nod off too. 
Lottie
Mummy to Max, Mimi and Lucas

Offline Mum to Ella Rose

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #39 on: June 18, 2006, 03:24:56 am »
Aw Michele, I'm sorry to hear that, but at the same time it's great news that there's a REASON for all your troubles and it can be treated! In a few days I bet your lo will be a new baby!! Definitely visit us on the reflux board, it's a great resource and support system too!

About the tummy time though... some refluxers absolutely hate tummy time because it can give them heartburn in that position. Mine did, that's for sure. So if it doesn't work, don't push it!

DITTO to everything!  ;D

{hugs}

Sharon
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Ella Rose November 20, 2004
Alexander James March 19, 2008

Offline Katet

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Re: 1 Wk Old- crying for hours @ night...help!
« Reply #40 on: June 18, 2006, 05:16:31 am »
Michelle, I'm glad you spoke to your Dr, I only read your post today, but as I read through I immediatly thought silent reflux, most babies just aren't that unsettled without a medical issue.... best of luck
« Last Edit: June 18, 2006, 05:21:48 am by Katet »
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