To feed at night or not?

[Cluna]

Hello
Id love some advice if you can give it. I have had great advice from other boards etc.
SHould I breast feed at night if |I think it is a prop - ?
Did PUPD for 1hr1/2 last night and he slept for a few hours (ie between 2qm and 5am. My son is 7.5 months. Ive had lots of difficulty with sleep training and helping him sleep through since he was 3 months (only started easy at 5 months)
Recently I resorted to feeding bottle or breast at night. I had dropped the dream feed because he was only taking 1 oz but he had a stomach upset and teething and started refusing some solids except fruit . His milk intake had gone down too . I have brought back the dream feed (I thought he might be going through growth spurt or just really hungry) although He wakes for it so its not really a dream feed. When he was ill Breast feeding was the only thing that would settle him when he woke in the learly hours , before that he only needs a little comfort ie my voice/music my hand on his belly. I find it really diffcult cus when he wakes so frequently and sometimes screams and screams I think he must be ill - but really now I think it is a product of my parenting when he was ill that he still wants Breast feeding in the middle of the night. SOme nights he frequently wakes between 8pm and 11 then wakes between 12.30 and 2 (usually a big fight) and then 5.ooish - if I dont feed him then he stays up and I have resorted to taking him into the spare bed and hell sleep until 700 on the tiems Ive done this.
I know being at nursery effects him as he gets hardly any sleep time . I find PU PD so hard especially as my husband works away and he feels that I should feed him in the night if he's hungry... What do you think - shuld I carry on with Dream feed, and PU PD in middle of night to get some sleep - Its so easy to lose peresective and hope when your exhausted . I know htere is many people out there who feel the same. BY the way He is on bottle now almost exclusively so I guess BF  might represent extra confort....I have also had a look at the slow removal plan strand - Should I do this rather than cold turkey him>?>?

many thanks
Clu

[teezee]

it sounds as if your lo could be overtired thus the wakings from 8 to 11 pm. i personally don't have any experience with daycare so i hope someone else can chime in with some advice from their experiences  . but if you could post lo's routine we could take a look for you

btw - i weaned my lo off night feeds by reducing the number of min she bf at night - it worked like a charm and think it is much more fair to the lo as he will barely notice the difference b/c it is so gradual. jmo.

as far as the df - tracy suggests stopping it at about 7 months as they don't 'need' the extra calories at taht pt anymore and it usually starts disrupting sleep at that pt.

[Cluna]

thankyou
I can see what you mean about being fair to lo, it feels pretty mean and unfai to give something then just stop it. He is a touchy textbook so seems to need lots of help winding down and staying asleep etc. I just could kick myself cus i only started BF him at night again recently when he was ill so Ive set him up with another habit to break, but i so want to be consisitent and not keep giving him props - PUPD - I often imagine Tracys voice saying stick with it etc cus its so hard to do alone.
Im finding changing his routine for 3 meals a day difficult - trying to work out what really works for him.
since illness this is what happens

early wake sometimes 4 sometimes 5.00/5.30  try to lull back to sleep (have taken to spare bed recently because Im afraid Im exhausted)
wake 6.30-7.00 BF/bottle
play dress etc
8.30 Breakfast (9.00am at daycare) cereal/fruit/milk
9.30 nap (45mins to recently 1hr20 Hurray!!!) (15mins-30mins at daycare sometimes none!
midmorning juice/water
playgroup/sing and sign class/play etc
12.00 Lunch veg/fruit (trying fish etc)
between 12.30-1.30 nap depending on when woke from last (45mins to 2hrs)

3.00 milk - ricecake
play
4.00-4.40 catnap sometimes in pram when walk dog if not in daycare)
play
5.30 Dinner - cereal/veg/fruit Milk
6.15-6.30 bedtime routine bath, stories, softplay, milk
sleep 7.30 (8.00 latest)

since ill often wakes 2-3 times before midningt and sometimes wakes midnight, 3.00or 4.00 5..00-5.30
sometimes if I feed him at 5.00 he will go back to slepp till7.00  Once or twice he has only woked once. I keep a food diary etc because he developed eczma at 6 months but cant see any pattern.
(he used to sleep til 7.00 before teething kept waking him and I responded with AP! probably)
I can see that naps are a problem, illness and incinsistent routine with daycare - I have found a childminder who will now look after him 2 days and will be more consistent with naps and care - daycare one day - they are fine but I think the noise and busyness doesnt suit my los temperament.

many thanks you girls are lifesavers
X

[teezee]

i am sorry if you have mentioned this but how long since your lo was sick? if it hasn't been too long, you may want to wait and see if everything will kind of ride itself out as far as any other wakings (besides the feedings) sometimes it takes a bit of time for lo's to find their niche again kwim??

i def see naps having an effect on your lo...he 'should' be having two good naps a day at this point and really am at a loss as what to suggest otherwise concerning daycare    sorry let me think about it and try to speak with someone who has this experience...

[JennŠ]

Is daycare following a consistant sleep time and routine for him?  How much time does he spend there?  At what age did he start there?  Sending a hug as well!!  Mine does not sleep at daycare sometimes because she would rather be playing.   

[Cluna]

Thanyou all so much for replying
My son has been ill (teething, bugs etc on annd off 4 2 months last tummy bug 10 days ago/
i have found that he stopped wanting 4 milk feeds , but kept offering. He gets loads of solids so now trying to reintate -  Milk first thing,breakf 1hr later, milk 11am, lunch 12, milk 3, dinner5.30 milk7

Daycare have routine that doesnt always suit baby of lo's age -Breakast 900, lunch12.00 -quiet/np time 1230  tea 3.00

I think they wait too long to put lo to nap, dont hve enough cots so expect him to sleep in bouncy chair in main room with too much noise/toddlers playing. He's textbook touchy - light sleeper - so must be really awful for hm.
Also separation anxiety - just found out - that he cries if adult at daycare not sat with him or walks away  so they carry him aound-  means he expects this at home now!!!
I work parttime at moment - so tryto spend lots of cuddle/play time with him- but know daycare has been hard  even tho h loves meeting people and children - he needs his security  SO - I've found a childminder who will look after him 2 days (daycare 1day) in her home with 2 toddlers and be much more caring and flexible to what he needs - I hope.
Its all so much harder than I imagined - but hope we are getting there.
Still nightwaking - and 1 bottle at night 1.00ish -  his 3.00ish wake - he tries to go back to sleep but wriggles and figets in between crying for up to 1hr and half.
Naps getting better at home tho!!!
Going to carry on increasing milk again in day. wake to sleep at 12.00am - lots of cuddles - and try and roll with it!!! its hard sometimes he wants solids, sometimes not, sometimes wants milk , naps etc sometimes not - changing all time but thanks for all advice as it is helping me give him as much consistency as I can - the love parts the easy bit!!!!

Hugs to you too
Clu