Moral of the story - perhaps?

[squeaky's mum]

Hi,

I spent last week at my Mums and I found out something interesting about my own childhood. We were watching the House of Tiny Tearaways and I was mortified to see a father trying to force toast into his little boys mouth. I said to my Mum, "I can't understand how people can do that, I am terrified of people trying to feed me. I find it a real invasion of personal space and it makes me feel really panicky sometimes, especially when I ask them to stop and they won't (i.e. dh)".

Mum said "Really, that doesn't surprise me. The only time I really really lost my temper with you when you were a toddler was over feeding" She didn't tell me what happened but whatever did happen stuck in her mind in quite a lot of detail.

As a result of my 'fear' of being fed I have been really careful with dd. If she doesn't want it, she doesn't have it. I work on the basis, if she is hungry she will eat, eventually. Interesting how things happening to you in childhood do have an effect on you in the long term.

Claire

[mrs_kat]

That's really interesting.  Similarly, a friend of mine grew up in a household where you couldn't leave the table until your plate was empty, so she'd have to force food down even if she was full.  She thinks that has a lot to do with her overeating as an adult, because her body doesn't really tell her that she's full even though she should be.  Her story has helped me to be more willing to end a meal with dd when she doesn't want anymore, even if she's hardly eaten anything.  I think that otherwhise I'd be more likely to keep prodding her to eat until I was satisfied with what she'd taken in.

[linfran]

That's funny reading this...I remember being given a treat if I cleared my plate as a child, such as ice-cream or a lolly (yes, cramming even more food in!).

And funnily enough, I don't encourage my ds to eat "just another spoonful more.."

[15milner]

i've always wondered about a couple of things from my upbringing.

After the weekly shop on a Friday evening with Mum - we were always treated with something from the patisserie counter - cream cake / meringue  etc for being good.  (Age about 8/9/10 I guess).  Even now, I have to really fight not to put something extra in as a 'well done' for doing the shopping. 

I found out that when we were little - if we were awake really early in the morning, we were given a drink and a biscuit to keep us quiet.  Have i taken comfort in drink and biscuit to console myself when really unhappy and miserable? 

I am a classic comfort eater and rely heavily on food in good / bad / stressful times.

Interesting thoughts.

Alex

[rosie and joe's mummy]

mmm interesting indeed.

i've certainly heard that it's not a good idea to reward finishing plates, and i think it's right. however my inlaws are of the eat everything brigade, and not just what's on your plate, but you mustn't leave anything on the table at all. there's never any leftovers, they just keep piling it on until there's nothing left. DH says his parents think it's rude not to finish everything, whereas i think it's rude to keep filling your plate until there's no more left.

anyway i also think it's bad to do what my friend does with her 18 mo. if she doesn't eat one thing she's given something different until she does eat it. spot the eating problems arising there! Friend is paranoid that her DD will suffer if she doesn't eat enough, and will give her anything to make sure she does.

[First Time Mom]

Eating was always a big fight growing up. I was a fussy eater and my mom would do everything to get me to eat, my twin would finish off MY plate for me when my mom wasn't looking to prevent fights. Needless to say, she has food issues and weight issues as an adult. I have vowed not to do the same with my dd.