waking up every hour crying

[seaflower]

Hi,

I've posted before on the other forums regarding DD's routine. She is 10.5mo and used to co-sleep and breastfeed all night long (waking every hour or two).

We moved her to her own room and her own cot a week ago, first days were very hard but now she is settling and when she wakes up only takes about 2-5 minutes sush-ing to get her back to sleep. She still wakes up screaming though every hour or two!!

Any ideas? Although we do have some progress, I am getting a bit discouraged at this point and dying for sleep!

[teezee]

could you pls post your lo's routine...actually it would be very helpful if you could answer all of the questions posted here:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54625.0

[seaflower]

Hi, sorry, I should have answered them I guess. I already did in another post and didn't want to repeat them, but then find that after two or three posts the topic changes from breasteeding to nightwaking, or to activity time, so have to post in another place

Here we go:

How old is your child?
10.5 mo

What’s his/her daily routine?
We've been working on a routine last few weeks, so it is kind of like this:
Wake up and breastfeed 7am (anytime 6:30-7:30)
solids 8-8:30am
nap 10am for 45 mins, sometimes 1.5 hour. usually breastfeed before that if I am not at work
solids 12:30-1pm
nap 2-2:30pm for 45 mins, sometimes 1.5 hours
solids 4pm (fruit) and sometimes bf
dinner 6-6:30pm
bath 6:30-7pm
breastfeed and bed 7:30pm

then she wakes up every hour or two.
Used to co-sleep and bf all night long, now feeds around 12am and 4am

What’s nap routine?
two naps, play music and shush, wants me to be there. Used to fall asleep while nursing up to a week ago.

How long are naps?
usually 45 mins, sometimes 1.5 hours

What's bedtime routine? Time?
bath, breastfeed, bed at 7:30pm

Do you bottle or breastfed??
breastfeed

How much? or how long?

If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)
one

How many wakes per night?
every our or two

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
wakes up crying, last few days started falling asleep after 2-3mins of shush an music, but wants me next to her

When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
crying, ifI go out gets up in the cot and screams the place down!

What have you tried to settle??
back rub, shushing, music

What do you do for A time and how long is it?
play, on her own or with her.

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
teething

Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months)

Do they have a prop? If so what is it?
don;t know.

Do they have a lovie?
no

Sorry it is so long! And thanks for reading if you've read so far

[teezee]

first good for you for getting lo on this routine - if a week ago you were nursing to sleep and now you aren't - wow!! that's an accomplishment! good for you and congrats!!!  do remember rome wasn't built in a day and don't get discouraged if other things don't move as quickly..

ok well i would def try extending that A time somewhat - start with 15 min at each A time and see how that goes. if needed or it seems she will do ok with it i would go even further..but just don't let lo get overtired and keep the extra A time really low key.

as far as the length of the naps, i would suggest not letting that am nap go over 45min to an hr. the pm nap 'should' be the longer one and it usually works out better that way anyway in relevence to night wakings.

i think it would be an excellent idea for you to introduce a lovey at this point since lo was sleeping with you for so long ( i did this too... ) she wants you near to have that comfort to go back to sleep. get a nice soft blankie or stuffed animal...something soft and light and sleep with it for a night - get your mommy smells all over it and start to introduce it to your lo. it may take a bit for her to 'catch on' to it, but will be very helpful to you in the end as with the sleep training, when it starts to take effect, this will compliment sleep training as hopefully lo will feel close enough to you b/c of the smell to be able to resettle.

don't be sorry it is long - i asked for the information and it's all good information b/c it has shed some light for me if you have anymore questions don't hesitate to ask! hth and good luck! keep us posted

is maybe your lo waking b/c she is not comfortable..pain, temperature of room, gas??? it sounds as that may be a problem. or perhaps is she getting too riled up before bed and becoming overstimulated b/c of it?? it could also be (if you have ruled out the others) that you just need to do some sleep training as lo was in the habit of waking so often and this may take some time, patience and consistancy on your part. if shhing or patting or whatever you are doing is working for you then keep it up! you may want to entertain pu/pd as another option for sleep training (which imo is harder work esp in the middle of the night..once you start you HAVE to be consistant with this, but won't take as long to achieve most times.)

[seaflower]

ok well i would def try extending that A time somewhat - start with 15 min at each A time and see how that goes. if needed or it seems she will do ok with it i would go even further..but just don't let lo get overtired and keep the extra A time really low key.

Which one do you mean? It feels as if she has plenty of A as it is, it is the sleep we are lacking

I'll defenitelly work on the lovey. I tried giving her a doll everytime she goes to bed but she doesn't seem interested. I will try and keep the toy with me for a day or two and then see if she takes to it.

As for why she wakes up crying, I still don't know. She wakes up like that from all naps and during the night. Temperature is different, teething some days but not always, the fact she goes back to sleep so quickly makes me think she is scared or confused when she wakes up. No idea how to help her though.

There is a defenite progress, I was just hoping it will be quicker Both DH and I are pretty tired and don't know how much longer we can stick to it!

[teezee]

the pm A time 

nap 10am for 45 mins, sometimes 1.5 hour. usually breastfeed before that if I am not at work
solids 12:30-1pm
nap 2-2:30pm for 45 mins, sometimes 1.5 hours

if lo is only sleeping for 45 min in the pm then maybe she isn't tired enough to stay asleep and this should be the longer of the naps. if you have a long am nap it usually just robs the night sleep kwim?

fyi - it took me MUCH longer than a day or two for my lo to really take to the lovey i gave her - just keep persistant about giving it to her..and you may have to find a few different things to try before one will click with her.

hopefully with extending the pm A time before the nap, it will start pushing the day forward so there is a little less A time before bed (hopefully this will help) and if she is by chance becoming overtired in that time it will stop it from happening.

everything does take time unfortunately - but you are doing a wonderful job just keep consistant and persistant!!

[teezee]

just wanted to add that when lo's wake up and cry every hr that it usually means imo one of three things

1. pain or discomfort
2. too much sleep (naps)/not tired enough to stay asleep
3. overtired/overstimulated

[seaflower]

DD still wakes up

I decided to expore the possibilitied one by one, so the first one is her being overtired. i'm going to move her naps earlier (9am instead of 10:30am as she seems ready to sleep then), and try and keep PM nap longer, and get her to bed at 7pm instead of 7:30.

Any other ideas are welcome, we are really exhaused from lack of sleep at this point. Last night for the first night in a year when I slept for FOUR hours uninterrupted (DH looked after her)

[teezee]

keep me posted on your results - keeping my fingers crossed!

[seaflower]

Don't know where to post this. I feel on the verge of getting into the car and driving far, far away

She still wakes up, last two days it takes me 40 minutes to put her down for a nap and she only sleeps 30 minutes. In the evening is the same, in fact she is still up now, I just gave up after an hour. Sitting next to me happily smiling and playing with her toy. We do have a routine, she does seem tired, and then she just won't go down. She keeps climbing up in her cot giggling at me. Over and over, and over... Really don't know what to do anymore.

[andibig]

so had this with dd. trying to put her down to sleep she'd stand up in the cot.put her down.stand up and laugh.put her down.stand up in cot throw lovey out of cot etc etc etc etc. in the end i just had to stand there not looking at her look REEEEallly bored until she finally laid down. v frustrating.

[teezee]

what happens if you put her down and leave the room immediately. recently my dd has started trying to play this game too and i find if i leave the room right away after the routine and putting her in the crib she may let out a few wails and then she goes to sleep.

maybe you want to get a lovey for your lo and get your scent all over it?..sleep with it for a night...'maybe' that will help some.

do you do 'anything' else for the bedtime routine besides bath bf and bed?

[seaflower]

Thanks girls, I'm in a pretty bad state today, lack of sleep for the last few weeks (and months) is finally catchign up with me. Sorry for the emotional post earlier. Just got DD to sleep so a bit better

Re evenign routine -
give her dinner,
wash her face,
run her bath and wash her,
moisturise, change her into babygro (at this point she is rubbing her eyes usually),
cuddle her for a breastfeed (she usually tries to climb over me and play, very hard to bf her recently).

Then we go to her room, turn on the music and place her down in her cot. she immediatelly pops up, i put her down, and so on.

If I walk out she starts moaning, I've tried staying out for 15 mins she keeps moaning. Sometimes screams real loud but never lies down. If I sit there ignoring her she usually keeps smiling at me, and eventually starts moaing again, which escalates to a scream. A real spirited baby, very stubborn.

I tried givign her a lovey, one cute doll, she plays with it sometimes, sometimes just ignores it. I slept with it, keep it in her cot all the time... She doesn't have any favourite toy as such to use as a lovey.

Sashas mummy, what did you do at the end to get your lo to sleep?

Edited to add: We don't have any routines for naps. The only one is put he blackout curtain and change her nappy.

[seaflower]

Sorry, forgot to say the positive thing - she is pretty quick to settle quring the nights these days, last night I only had to place her back down in her cot after she got up crying and she was fast asleep within seconds.

On the negative side, as DH said 'we are in a hostige situation' - one of us sleeps in her room as she wakes up so often!

I'll go and browse the PU/PD forum and see if we are doign something wrong.

[andibig]

not sure if this will help. once she finally decided to lay down realising mummy was not playing this game anymore!!! i used to just lay a hand on her tummy not say anything until she was settled i'd then leave the room but leave her door open. for some reason leaving the door open seemed to reassure her.eventually after a few days i could just lay her down leave the room leave door open.eventually i could close the door. the first time i did this it did take me over an hour to settle her she wasn't upset just playful but i knew she was tired.
HTH