Starting on EASY - LO won't nap

[gnatliz]

I have a 2 month old baby girl who I would like to start the EASY routine on.  This is my first baby so I truly am learning as I go.  I understand what is supposed to happen because I have read the book.  However I am having difficulty with implementing it.  I will address some of my problems:
1. I have tried putting her on a schedule but it seems that one day we may be sleepy at 8:00 and the next day we won't be sleepy until 9:00, which will then mess up feeding times.  Do I put her down to sleep the same time every day and let her adjust to the schedule or do something else?
2. During the last week of so there have been some times when she goes to sleep on her own without too much of a problem and other times it takes her forever to get to sleep, which then messes up the schedule.  Any suggestions?
3. Do I just need to create a schedule for her and let her adjust?
I have heard wonderful things about this method and would really like for it to work.  I am just really confused on where to start.  Advice for a first time mom would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

[LŠuren]

Welcome to the BW boards Gnatliz

In answer to all your questions;

EASY is NOT a schedule it is a flexible routine, times can change everyday depending on many factors, i.e. wake up time, illness.......   

If your LO is sleepy earlier then you must put her down to sleep as soon as you see her sleep cues before you have an overtired baby on your hands.  EASY is not about clock watching, it allows you to read you babies cues, if you work through your day in a sequential order i.e. EASY, you know that if you have just fed your LO an hour ago 'E' and she is crying after having some play time 'A', then the likelyhood is your LO is tired 'S'. If you know what is going to come next E,A,S.. then you can then learn to understand her different cries or cues.

You can see a detailed overview of how to start EASY here --> https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62100.0

Give us a shout if you need more help in specific areas 
You can also find excellent information in the 1st 2 baby whisperer books - the 1st gives an indept overview of EASY and the 2nd looks at different problems that can crop up and how to fix them.

HTH's

[gnatliz]

Thanks for the reply.  I understand it isn't a schedule and that it is flexiable.  It seems like in the last week or so she has had problems with sleeping, which then messes everything else up.  I know she has gotten overtired and at that point it seems like nothing I do calms her down.  Any suggestions there?  And let's say she gets overtired and by the time she gets to sleep it is time for the next feeding.  What do I do then? 

[LŠuren]

You would feed your Lo then keep the next 'A' time as low key as possible, always following sleepy cues.

[twoboys]

I know what you are going through.  I was lucky with my first son - he was a textbook baby.  My second however, was a different story.  I tried so hard to get him to adjust to EASY that I forgot that I needed to watch him for about three/four days before. Now I am trying again to implement EASY in his schedule/routine.  My second is now almost 6 months old and I am starting from scratch. 

I am giving you a big hug and wishing you the best.

[gnatliz]

Good luck to you too "two boys."

This morning went pretty well.  She fussed a little when I put her in her crib.  It wasn't full out crying just a few whimpers.  I was able to calm her down easily.  But since about 2:00 not so great.  Here is what has happened so far today.

6:30 wake up and eat
8:30 S
10:00 E
11:30 S
1:00 E

At about 2:15ish it looked like she was getting sleepy.  So we went in her room and held her and talked to her.  Once she started shutting her eyes I put her in the crib and did the shh/pat.  That didn't work so I had to pick her up and calm her down.  This lasted until her next feeding time, 4:00.  She ate and then I sat with her for about 10 minutes and we started closing the eyes.  So from about 5:00-6:00, I tried getting her down for a nap but had no luck.  At 6:30 my husband tried feeding her but she had no interest.  And now she acts like she isn't tired at all.  I know she is probably overtired.  I don't understand what happened this afternoon, since the morning went pretty well.  Am I doing something wrong?  Is this just her getting use to the routine?

Any suggestions would help. 

[twoboys]

Do you use a pacifier?  If I remember correctly, Tracy states in her book that babies under 3 months can use a pacifer to expel excess energy.  I will grab my book and see if I can find it.  On page 199 of The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems it states that most babies will suckle themselves to sleep and then it falls out and they continue sleeping.

I just put my little one down and he started to fuss and I put the paci in his mouth.  He settled right down - and I know if I go in there right now, it has fallen out and he is sleeping. 

I will keep looking in the book....let me know if that helps.

Stacey

[LŠuren]

gnatliz
I have moved this to the naps board, the ladies here will be able to help you sort the naps out. 

Lauren

[gnatliz]

I'll admit I haven't been very good at a winddown routine.  I will be consistent with that starting now. 
Any tips for that?

She does use a pacifier some of the time.  But she has started pulling it out and then fussing.  So that has been confusing.  And then we are running in and out of her room tons to give it back to her.

Maybe an hour and half is too long.  What are the cues for them getting sleepy?  Because honestly sometimes after an hour and a half she still seems wide awake.  No yawning or fussiness.  Or maybe I am just missing everything entirely.

Please tell me this will get better, because on the 2nd day I am starting to get really frustrated.  It seems like there are times when I have her figured out perfectly and other times I have no clue what she wants, which then makes me feel awful.

Thanks for everyone's help.   

[ErinB]

Gnatliz - I just wanted you to know that we have been doing (or should I say trying) Babywhisperer/EASY since pretty much day one with our 8 week old, and sometimes it seems like every day is different! Please know that it can be frustrating, hard to read lo's cues, routines change, etc! It does get better, and some days are better than others  There have definitely been times when I feel like falling in a heap b/c I feel as if I can't figure my lo one out! And then she smiles one of her big smiles and I know it's all OK - we'll figure each other out sooner or later!

I think before 3 months of age, it's can be quite a guessing game trying to figure out their routines/wants/needs, and that's where BW is such a help. As Calum's Mum said, by starting a routine, you get a better idea of what your lo needs, even if you think it might be difficult to read their cues. We by no means have anything down pat, but at least I feel confident knowing that around every 2.5 - 3 hours, my lo needs to eat, and if she's fussy way before this time, it's something else. Each day you will get more and more confident and things will sort of fall into place.

And when they don't, you come here!!  You'll find all kinds of people going through the exact same thing - and it's so reassuring to know you're not the only one. And then you'll see lots of good advice, and some of the different ways people handle/tweak things. It's very encouraging. So don't stress about going "exactly by the book."

I've found the easiest thing for me (so I don't get all Type A and controlling as I'm apt to do! ) Is to take baby steps. So when I've gotten help from the boards here, I just focus on that one problem, like stretching my times to a 3 hour EASY, or working on naps, or tweaking wind-down routine. It can be overwhelming, so working on one thing at a time helps. Know too, that at times during growth spurts, illness, developmental milestones, things are bound to go haywire - that's when I have to remind myself to just go w/the flow, and we can work on the routine in a few days if necessary.

We're currently having the same difficulties as you w/naps, so that's our goal right now! Keep at it, and come here often for the great advice and encouragement. The ladies here are super helpful. OK - - a bit of a rambling post, but I didn't want you to feel hopeless    Erin

[gnatliz]

Thanks for the posts.  The adivce and encouragement really help.  Today has been much better.  She napped in her crib really well.  My husband and I did a good job of reading her cues (I think) because she always went to sleep fairly easily.

I do have two questions though.

1. Should I still be doing a dream feed?  My little one is two months old.

2. She ate around 3:30-4:00.  She eats around every 3 hours.  Her bedtime routine starts at 7:00.  So in between 4:00 and 7:00 does she still need to take a nap or is that too close to bedtime?  She did take about an hour nap from 6ish to around 7ish when she woke up herself and was hungry. 

Thanks again for the posts!

[gnatliz]

Thanks for the info on the dream feeds.  I'll give her one tonight and see how it goes.

I wish I could say today went as smoothly as yesterday, but it didn't.  Anyone have advice on days when your lo seems to not want anything to do with a routine.  She didn't want to be in her crib today, didn't want her pacifier.  Just a rough day.

Thanks

[Zoey]

Hi hun, it does get better.  I am a first time Mom too and I found the first 3 months really hard with my LO.  I thought I broke him, that I was a horrid Mom, I never knew what to do or what he wanted.  I wished I spoke baby, but alas its a learned language.  Remember crying is their way of expressing themselves, figuring out what all the cries mean can be stressful - but just take a deep and relax.  Sometimes I found that I was getting so upset and freaked out about the crying, I didn't step back and watch what my baby was trying to tell me.

I only recently realized (thanks to Stacy!) that EASY is an idea - to eat, then play, then sleep.  It gives order to the day, not only for you - but for your LO, as she will start to know what comes next.  EASY helped me learn baby speak 

As far as her not wanting anything to do with a routine, well you have to kind of take charge here.  Your LO knows she needs to Eat, play, and sleep - but you have to teach her in what order these things are going to happen.   It will take a few days maybe weeks to get well adjusted to it all, and even then there will be bumps but just stick to the basics and it'll work out fine 

BIG HUGS for you, it gets better - you will find THE MOST SUPPORTIVE team here on these boards.  Come here when you have a question, when you feel discouraged, need a hug, or to help someone else with something you went through.  People are here 24/7 to help and hug.

Chin up!  Zoe 

[gnatliz]

It's me again.  I am still having tons of problems with this whole routine.  I feel like I am doing something terribly wrong.  Daytime is still very hard.  Daytime naps are still very hard.  I haven't found a winddown routine she likes.  Most of the time she just starts crying when I start trying to put her down for nap, even though she is tired.  Then it takes me awhile to get her calm.  Then she doesn't nap well in her crib and wants to go to sleep with her next feeding. 

It seems like she cries and I have no clue what she wants.

However at night she sleeps great in her crib.  Last night she slept from 8:30 to 7:00 this morning in her crib with no problem.  I am sure part of it is she is so tired by the time we get to bedtime.

I am getting so frustrated and feel like I am failing.  Her crying is making me feel awful.  The last couple of days I have been very tempted to give her a bottle b/c I know that would calm her down.

I have read the book, read posts, but it seems like I am just not getting this.