Author Topic: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong  (Read 3234 times)

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andibig

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #15 on: June 02, 2006, 08:48:10 am »
was just looking at your routine. just guessing but i wondered if she needs a bigger b/time bottle as shes only taking 4oz (might be why she needs another btl during the night). any chance you could cut down her diner btl at all. as i said just guessing

Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #16 on: June 02, 2006, 16:20:41 pm »
I think that what you need to do first is set a routine. By that I mean doing XYZ at such-and-such a time, and that's the way it is. It might mean a rough few days or so, but she will get it and I think you would all be a lot happier. I agree with andibig as well, that cutting back that dinner bottle would be a good idea so that she would hopefully increase her bedtime intake. She's definitely eating too much at night, it's apparent that she's learned that nighttime is when she eats.
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline Cnich

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #17 on: June 02, 2006, 19:30:54 pm »
You may be making sense Ottomom... I'm not sure. I likely have blood pouring out of my eyes from fatigue ;)

I AM sticking to a routine as much as possible - the issue is that she is not reacting to it on a consistent basis.  Feeds are at the same time, she gets as much as she will eat and drink, she has stimulation and quiet play, cuddles - the only thing that is changing is that we are moving her bedtimes to earlier, honoring her wish to give up afternoon naps, and trying to find a way to have her stop eating at night - the pu/pd isn't working (Itry for 40 minutes at a time some nights and it just makes her madder and more agressive), the calm voice, the back rubs ---- none of it!

Last night she fell asleep while I was giving her her after dinner formula at 8pm.  She slept until 9:30 then woke up and took until 10:30 to go back to sleep.  Woke at 2 - bottle - 4oz diluted.  3:30 - tried to settle her for 45 minutes - ended up with another 4oz diluted, but still wouldn't sleep.  So her dad and I had a fight (his mom had phoned earlier and told him to let her cry it out when she wakes at night).  5:30 gave her another bottle - 4oz!  Fell asleep in my arms at about 7:30 and slept until 9am.  Gave her breakfast at 9:30 - which she gobbled up.  Gave her 5oz at 11am to prepare for nap, put her down at 11:40 for nap, but it took her until noon to finally drift off.  She'll wake up soon, happy, bubbly and ready to tear into her world again.  She doesn't want afternoon naps anymore, but I plan to put her into her crib at 4 anyway for some quiet time.  Then plan for a 7pm dinner and bed by 9 (or earlier) with a bottle.


Offline Cnich

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #18 on: June 02, 2006, 19:47:09 pm »
Yep - almost to the minute she woke afterr1.5 hours - happy and not interested in eating yet - as usual.

andibig

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #19 on: June 02, 2006, 19:53:06 pm »
just wondering if you need to move her morning nap a bit later. could be shes got used to making up her night sleep soon after shes woken up ??? how long did you do pu/pd for?

Offline Cnich

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #20 on: June 02, 2006, 20:20:05 pm »
Good call!  I put her down 2 hours and 45 minutes after her big wake - it used to be 2 hours or earlier - today.  Since the afternoon nap is being resisted, I'm going to try to keep moving her morning nap a little later every day.

BTW - I really appreciate the input from you Moms!  Don't take it as me being contrary when I say "already tried that".  I wouldn't be on this board if it were all peachy, or if I had just not bothered to read the owner's manual properly. 

I need all the help I can get - it's not been easy, but I'm determined to help my baby with her nights - since the lack of sleep is giving her a less than cheerful mom at times. :P

andibig

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #21 on: June 02, 2006, 20:25:09 pm »
tell me about it!!!!!!!!!!!!
i swear when DD wasn't  sleeping well it was torture!!!!!!!!!  some days i used to think it would be so much easier having a dog than having a baby (LOL) i love her to bits but they diddn't tell me about this when i was pregnant.!!!!!!!!

andibig

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #22 on: June 02, 2006, 20:41:10 pm »
BTW
had another thought about the naps. as well as moving the morning nap later what about making it shorter as well. hopefully then she'll take an a/noon nap cos it sounds like shes taking that a/noon at 8PM (!) as for getting rid of the night feeds i'm going to talk to my SIL as she had exactly the same problem with her DS needing a btl to get back to sleep at night. (her ds is on the sml side as well)

Offline naunmom

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #23 on: June 02, 2006, 21:27:54 pm »
 ;D ;D ;D  I wrote my reply late at night ... so ...

Anyway ... I guess all I was trying to say was ... if it seems like her routine is changing all the time ... maybe don't focus on exact times so much as the order in which you are doing things and it will seem more like a predictable routine.

When I reviewed my old log with ds (who is now 3.5 years old) ... I remembered that ds was not doing stuff at the exact times and at first I felt he was all over the place ... until I stopped focusing on the times I was doing things and just did them in the same order and tweaked the times as needed ... like how andibig suggested about moving her nap later.

If it works for a couple days and then stops working ... tweak/adjust the times again as needed but keep the relative order of what you are doing (in the EAS pattern) ... and maybe it will seem more like a routine ...??  I think that's what I ended up doing.

Hope this makes better sense and maybe helpful???  :)  :)  :)


Offline Cnich

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #24 on: June 02, 2006, 22:41:42 pm »
Yes, it makes sense and I agree.  It's not the times that are tripping me up, it's the night wakings - their frequency and the fact that the book advises to feed her more during the day, but I can't seem to get anymore into her at each meal, even when I have stopped the snacking (bottles) in between and kept the naps consistent.  She ate great at lunch again, but it eventually ended in tears.

It took me a couple of weeks to get her into this 2 X 1.5 hr nap routine, and it was one thing I could count on as consistent.  Then this weekend she changed it and now I'm hearing that I should let her skip the afternoon and either extend the morning one, make it shorter too, or make it a little later. 
By bedtime she is exhausted, but that hasn't changed the night wakings either, it's just made it easier to put down.

Keep the ideas coming, Girls! 

andibig

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #25 on: June 03, 2006, 20:04:03 pm »
hi
spoke to sil about frequent night feedings that she had with ds. she carried on night feeding until he was about 10 mths up to which point she couldn't take anymore(!) as she also had a 5yr dd. she was originally going to try CIO but just couldn't. she basically dealt with one feed at a time. gradually cutting itdown by an ounce evry few days until she would offer only water then nothing except his paci. i'm sure you've already tried this just thought it might be a way of breaking the night feedings and getting dd to resettle without a btl.

now I'm hearing that I should let her skip the afternoon and either extend the morning one, make it shorter too, or make it a little 

re naps its up to you as you know dd best. do u think she can cope with one nap a day at her age. if so then i would move it later in the day. if you think she needs 2 naps IMHO would still move morning nap later but shorten it so she can take an a/noon nap.
hope you don't think i'm being patronising jst trying to help as we had problems withh DDs naps as well

Offline naunmom

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #26 on: June 05, 2006, 16:05:47 pm »
Sorry ... I may have gotten distracted and focused on the routine issue.  Regarding the night wakings/feeding .. to me, it sounds somewhat like a catch-22 for you.  If she needs more calories during the day but not consuming because she's spreading it out over the night as well ... it might be that you'll need to wean her from the night feedings in order get her to consume more during the day maybe???

My ped said that after 6 months they don't really don't need the night feed ... but I didn't wean ds from the nightfeed until he was 10/11 months ... I just wasn't ready/didn't feel comfortable - but he did get easier to settle after feeding.  One thing I did was either a) didn't change his diaper ... or b) if I felt he needed a diaper change, I would do it before the feed (I breastfed).  Ds weight was always in the 5/10 percentile (height 25/50th percentile) .. but that didn't concern me as much because he was growiing consistently and thriving.  Both dh and I are slim so most likely it's genetic.  When we were finally ready to wean ds from the night feed ... dh did it.  After a couple weeks of dh re-settling him without a feed ... I was able to go back and help resettle in the night if he needed it.

Anyway, I know it's frustrating - hang in there.  Somehow, at sometime it will get better ... then you'll be moving on to other issues i.e.  potty training, tantrums ... etc  ;D


Offline Cnich

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Re: Everyday is different, so how to know what I'm doing right/wrong
« Reply #27 on: June 07, 2006, 00:35:39 am »
Just a quick update - she's even more 'all over' with her routine, but I suspect she may be fighting the same cold I have - she's had a drastic increase in bm's and it has softened, she's slept in til 10am 2 days in a row, had a later am nap, and sneaking an afternoon nap in as well.  She did 1.5 hr this am and I'm going to get her up now from pm nap (I didn't intend to let her nap this late, but if she's a bit under the weather, then 45 minutes seems like the right compromise).

I'll keep you posted.
BTW - she seems to be sleeping better at night with me giving her more formula 5oz on first feeding) ?!