9 month old won't play alone longer than 5-10 mins

[annapark]

Hi,

If anyone can assist would appreciate it.  My 8month 3 week old, Thomas has never easily played on his own - he suffered with reflux from 7 wo to approx 7.5 months so in the early days I would put him down on his back to stare at bright prints not realising that he had reflux and that he was in pain, once that was remedied he would be left alone to play for 5-10 minutes here and there.

The last couple of weeks he's been worse probably due to having a cold in that 5 minutes is about his limit.  Although when I really look at the big picture for his 1st 9 months admittedly he's NEVER been able to entertain himself for very long unless I'm in the room, when he crys I don't pick him up I sit down with him at his level, resettle him and get him to play with something and that gets him going again but it's not long before he starts up again - he's almost 9mths and in Tracy's final book she notes that 9 mo bubs should be able to play solo for 45 minutes!  Well I'm way behind the 8-ball.

Thomas can roll back to front and sit up; he's not crawling yet and can't get himself up into a sitting position - any ideas would be much appreciated.

Anna

ps.  he comes in at Spirited,Touchy,Text book a pretty even match although slightly leaning toward Spirited

[Erin M]

First off, 45 minutes seems like a really long time to me at 9 months so I certainly wouldn't worry about not being there.  You really are helping him out with what you're doing right now in terms of getting down to his level and playing with him there instead of picking him up all the time when he cries.  At that age, my DD liked to play with soft toys, look through books, stack her rings...well at that age, I think she was just good at taking them off...and look at the toys on her activity mat.  She also liked balls and blocks quite a bit and her stacking cups. 

Also, check out the last post on this thread where Stacy describes the modified pu/pd approach she used with her son.  Maybe something like that can help you.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=51525.0

[EmMUK74]

Rachel is the same (and also had severe reflux until 8 months) and she can only play on her own for 5 mins and then wants interaction from another child or from an adult (preferable me but I think that's just because I'm the one mostly around).  I was worried about it but now just realise that she likes to chat to people, she's a social animal.  I do what you do, I sit nearby and introduce something new to her and then let her play with it, and then we do something together like roll and catch a ball, and then I will give her something solo.  I also spend time away trying to encourage the self play and am gradually moving it along so I can get to the toilet now without having her meltdown but I figure it's the way she is and that's OK with me.

I don't know if what I'm doing is right, but I try to just accept that all babies are different and some don't like being on their own too much, they will be the chatty ones at every social occassion