20 month old never sleeps through

[katejude]

This might just be a whinge!  my 20 month old son still wakes at least once but up to 3-4 times per night  .  I am exhausted.  I'm a single mum too so most nights I am in tears with tiredness and frustration  .  Anyone else out there that's children just simple never sleep through?

[franchick]

Hi there

I have a 12 month old DD who has only ever slept through 6 or 7 nights in total in her life, so I can understand where you are coming from. I posted elsewhere on this board for advice because I have basically slid into the habit of co-sleeping in DD's room all the time (from about 11pm onwards) in order for us all to get a 'good' night's sleep.

I am usually a bit tired, but definitely not the same exhausted I was when DD was younger ( I would re-settle her in her cot, which, for a period of about 6 or 8 weeks would take 2.5 hours - this was when I had not long returned to full-time work, so I was a total crank all of the time!).

My DH says that I am generally a bit crankier or more easily annoyed than I ever used to be, but most of the time I can keep sunny, but it is not easy, and it must be doubly hard for you coping on your own.

Grandma has looked after DD overnight for 6 or 7 nights in total over the past few months and says she doesn't mind getting up in the night (whether this is true or not, I don't know), so maybe a very kind-hearted relative or friend could give you just one or two nights' sleep which would help you out in the short-term.

Eventually all little ones sleep through the night, even the ones who never did for a very long time, but it can take many months for this to happen. One of my friend's little one didn't sleep through til they were 27 months old - they used to leave a little sandwich and a drink out for them to get them through til morning. Another friend had a baby that was the WORST sleeper ever (up 5 or 6 times a night for 1 hour plus each time!!) - the mum developed epilepsy from lack of sleep, or rather the lack of sleep brought it out in her - but 'magically' the wee one suddenly started sleeping through when they moved house - go figure!

So, just so you know, you are not alone. I am a coward for change re PD / wi/wo and am having my own battle as to whether to really go for either of them, but I do believe they are amongst the most humane methods of teaching your wee ones to sleep through the night without you, bar riding it out till they reach their own sleep maturity (which could be as late as 4 yrs old or so).

Other ladies on this site have far, far more experience than me on PD etc - if you are going to go for it, they will give you unending support and advice.

Best of luck!

[Vivismomma]

HI Katejude,

Just here to offer moral support as well- I just posted my story to see if I could get any advice, too.  DD has been on the up 2-3x per night for several weeks now and I am also at my wits end! 

A mantra for us all- "this too shall pass."

Best wishes:)
Shauna

[Florencia]

Hi Kate!

I'm sorry to hear that little Finn isn't cooperating to have a rested mommy. I used to hate when everyone told me that this too shall pass... but it does. Sooner than you realize, things will get better.

In the meantime, come here for a vent, or 2 or 3 or as much as you need. Also, if you would like to adress a specific problem, we'll be happy to make a plan and hold you through the process.

HUGS meantime, and of course, you're not alone. Even those who have good sleepers have nights (or periods of weeks) of sleep off. It's just how toddlerhood works, first is the molars, then the separation anxiety, then the milestones (walking, talking, new found independence), then the potty training,.... but it does end, I promise (or at least, i hope! LOL)

[Harrisonsmummy]

Kate, (((((((hugs))))))) you are not alone! When you are up in the night, plenty are up with you!

 Can you be more specific? Post a routine, duration of wakings and what you do to combat them! Is lo in own room, how do they nap etc. May be able to formulate a plan, or point you in the right direction!

Justine

[katejude]

Thankyou all for your replies.  Particularly to franchick - that was a very supportive reply. 

Last night was good.  Finn was asleep by 7pm, woke at 3am (changed his nappy) and then at 6.30am.  It was amazing.  He hasn't done that for about two weeks.  I went and saw a sleep specialist two days ago that helped change Finns nighttime routines when he was 10 months old as he had never slept through and was still being breastfed several times a night  .  Anyway 10 months ago things changed dramatically (I weaned him among other things) and then Finn slept through for 4 months.  11 hours a night.  BLISS after 10 months of minimum 6 nightwakings per night.  My ex and I were zombies up until then.  No wonder my marriage ended ...  we were just too tired to function.

Anyway it's now been four months since he slept through.  I don't really know what's changed.  He just stands up in his cot, I walk in, lie him down and then he usually goes back to sleep.  Then he'll wake two hours, maybe 10 mins, maybe 3 hours, maybe 48 mins later.  It's irregular.  He has at least a 2 hour nap during the day between 11.30/12 onwards.  He doesn't have bottles during the night nor water.  He does have a dummy though but rarely throws it out of the cot.  It's like he wakes, looks around, thinks MUM and cries out, mum walks in, lies him down, he thinks that's better, then sleeps again.

Any suggestions?

[imsmum]

How long has he been on the one nap?  And is his usual bedtime/sleeptime 7?  With Margot she didn't sleep through on a regular basis until 18 months although we are havin gother issues now .  Most of her nightwakings were from overtiredness/scheduling problems  and I had to really micromanage awake times/intervals between waking and sleep to ensure that she didn't get into that overtired state.  What really worked for us when she first went to one nap was the early bedtime. 

[katejude]

Thankyou for replying ladies.  Sorry for not writing sooner.  Finn has actually been sleeping quite well (waking once at roughly midnight) so that's why I haven't responded.  Hope it keeps up!!!

[imsmum]

Great news!  You could maybe try a 15 or 30 minute earlier bedtime to see if that helps with the one nightwaking.