Do I need to extend A time?

[PeepersMom]

We have had off and on decent naps and going through SO many changes.  My LO sleep is always effected by new life events, crawling, standing, sitting.  And not in a positive way.  He gets 'stressed' as the doctor puts it and has a hard time staying asleep.  He is 10 months old and we have never stopped having to sleep train.  Falling asleep has never been the issue, it was staying asleep.  Now it is both..........

Our routine for the longest time has been 7 am out of crib (usually wakes between 615-630) 
then back for nap at 9am - he had been pretty easy to go for his nap anywhere from 40-1.5 hours
nap again at 1 pm - anywhere from 40 min to 1.5 hours.
Bedtime 630  we were pretty firm on that.

So most awake time was 2-2.5 hours except time between last nap and  bed which on his best days was 3-4 hours.  Nights he has been doing ok.

Now all of the sudden we are dealing with seperation anxiety as well as so many other milestones.......I think seperation anxiety it the big thing with his falling asleep.  He has now started to FIGHT me tooth and nail with his naptime routine.  He screams and arches and kicks his legs in my arms so I put him down.  He screams so I pick him up, he screams more......it seems to be worse in my arms.  So this afternoon I kept him up 15 miutes longer than he wanted to, thinking he would be so tired this would be avoided.  Well he did scream, kick, gag, cough.........but it only lasted 5 minutes vs. 20.  It is pretty exhausting for me, too.  As someone who doesn't like cio, I am almost forced to.  I do pat his butt but he then just tries to stand up and I have to lay him back down.  Today I ended up walking out of his room both naps. 

His naps are MUCH shorter.  Now both are just 40 minutes and he is waking up crying.  AH  I feel so bad for him.

Any thoughts on A time? 

Thanks

[corrina01]

When my DD was at that age, everything was going on, early wakeups, not napping as well as she used to.

My routine was at 10 months after I sorted the early wakings was

6.20am Wake
9.30am nap for 1 hr
1.45pm nap for 1hr 15mins
7pm bed

Now she is

6.20am-6.30am Wake
9.45-10am Nap for 1 hr
2.15pm Nap for 1hr
7pm-7.15pm Sleep

Basically, 3hr 10mins before 1st nap, 3hrs 15mins before 2nd nap 4hrs before bedtime, this seem to suit her.

Please don't let him CIO, this will break the trust you and him have created.

[HeatherC]

Meg-HUGS to you.  I know it's tough, but you can do this.  I think something to concentrate on is staying positive and strong so that he sees this rather than a mom who's upset.  By you reinforcing that it is naptime, keep doing pd, and be there to comfort him, then he might realize that mommy is still here for me so it's okay to go to sleep.  He's just reach the age where it doesn't make sense to him that you are leaving him in a room all by himself.  This phase will pass. 

[PeepersMom]

Thanks for responses!! Well today I toughed it out and got up at 6:24.......I think this may be part of the problem that I forgot to mention.  He often wakes before 7 and will play and then fall back to sleep and then sleep till 730- I think this would confuse him about how the day progresses.  Quite frankly it confuses me on those days.  I have no idea when to nap him and it all gets crazy.  He is a textbook with a bit of 'touchy' baby and maybe needs a more strict routine.

So this morning he was up at 6:11 and I got him out of bed at 625.  He was a bit confused and fussy for the morning because I think he was planning on going down for another quick snooze before his day started!   

So he went down like a dream for the first nap at 9.  He was pretty ready.  He slept for 1h 5minutes and woke happy as a clam!!!   

so that meant 1pm for nap #2 if we are doing 3 hour awake time.  He was a bit fussier this time, but nothing compared to the past few days.  He fussed and turned around in my arms.  So I put him down and patted his bottom.  No crying, some fussing.... then he sang himself to sleep in about 6 mintues and we just passed the 1 hour mark.  I am so happy.

He was definitely fatigued at the 2.5 hour point for both naps, but I still think he needed to be stretched.  Now I am not sure I have the miracle cure here, but it worked for today so I am going to stick with it.

Thank you so much for your support.

The past 2 days have been really horrible, I had a baby on my hands that I didn't know!  He used to love to fall asleep! (staying asleep was our problem!) so this was quite confusing.

Meg

[shelliz]

Ladies...correct me if I am wrong..

    ....but I was thinking that maybe if you DID stretch his A time b/w when he wakes in the morning and his first nap, maybe this might solve the early wakings issue! I have found that if my dd wakes early and I leave her in her crib to play, she is READY to go down for her nap 2.5 hrs from when she originally woke! I am thinking if you stretch the A time little by little (10-15 minutes at a time) during morning A time then your lo will begin to wake a bit later each morning.  7:00 seems to be a good time for us and after tweaking her morining A time...we finally got it to a consistant 7:00 waking (so far!!!!).   
   HTH!

[PeepersMom]

I sure hope you are right.  I mean 6:11 was awfully early for me.   I am hoping for 7 am which is why I often just left him in there to play........I think in the long run for me it backfired because he would fall back to sleep usually right around 7 and then have a little catnap.  That really messedup our day.  So this may help us  get him to sleep in a bit.

Today we are doing good.  Lets hope the same for tomorrow.

Thanks!!

[corrina01]

Yes you are quite Shelliz, with my DD waking early in the morning about 5am, I had  to slowly extend my A time before her 1st nap.  She was grumpy with the 4hrs A time, but now she is waking at a more reasonable hour of 6.15am so we only do 3.5hr before her 1st nap now, and she is quite happy with that.

[PeepersMom]

Well what do you know........  Must keep this in mind when I am getting up in the am.  Great great news. I am going to share with a few friends, too!!

Thanks

[PeepersMom]

I think I am on to something.  Although I don't understand why I have to get him to the point of exhaustion for him to sleep longer than 40 minutes.  It isn't this way with all babies - is this just a personality trait? Anyway, we are having a little bit of success here.  I have only been able to get him to 2hour50min of morning awake time but the afternoon awake time seems to need to be a bit longer like 3 hours 15min. 

I have had too many disasters and setbacks to think this is the fix, but so far so good.  We have had mostly long naps since I started this, a few 40 minutes but over all 1h+a little.  Which is cool!!!  He still wants no part of me rocking him to sleep, but when I put him down he fusses loudly, not screaming his head off anymore, and is usually asleep within 10 minutes.  I know, this is a good thing, but it is just weird how he decided to stop it, not me!

(I just looked back at some of my old posts from when I first arrived here........I have been working HARD on naps since he was 3.5 months old.  )