11-week old DS waking almost every hour at night! Help!

[iemuhs]

Hi, both my 11 week old DS and myself are seriously lacking some sleep these few days and would appreciate it if someone can point out some possible problems in my schedule that lead to my DS waking up almost every hour at night.

BEFORE
Things were much better earlier, when we were on 3-hour EASY with 4 naps in the day (each around 1-1.5 hr long). He would go to bed at around 7-8pm at night, and usually sleeps quite well, waking up every 3 hour or so for feeding. He would be up around 7 to 8am to start the day.

PRESENT
My DS, who sleeps with us, has been waking up almost every hour each night... sometimes he will settle back to sleep but sometimes he root for my breast and want to nurse although his nursing time is not up yet. And for the past 3 nights, he stays up from 3am and want to nurse on and off till 5am (he rejects the paci). It has been impossible to get him back to sleep from 5am onwards. An example of his wakings yesterday: slept at 7.30pm, woke up at 9.30pm, 11.30pm, 12.30pm, 1.30pm, 3.40pm (and nurses until 5am).

He has been nursing quite erratically these days and been having more frequent nursing and shorter naps in the day (sometimes I would put him in the sling in the afternoon, when he would sleep for 2.5-3.5 hours then, to help him catch on on lost sleep). On average, he would have 4 hour of sleep in the day. His bedtime remains unchanged. My DH is also out of town and the trouble seems to start when he's away. But my DH don't really interact much with my DS during the weekday due to his work, so I don't think this is the factor causing his night wakings. What is then? What should I do to help my DS get more sleep? If I am so tired, he must be too!? 

[Colin Macs Mom]

So sorry to hear that things are on the tough side right now... I can relate, my DS also went through a phase where he woke every hour. I know how hard it is and how tired you are!   

It sounds to me like he is getting into the habit of snacking rather than actually eating a meal. You definitely want to avoid this. Are you on a 4 hour EASY now? I think that it might help you to go back to 3 hour EASY, he might not be ready for the 4 hour routine yet - most aren't until they're 4 mo. old. And you want to keep him on the routine and now allow the snacking. He will figure out quickly that mealtimes are mealtimes.

[iemuhs]

Hi Colin Mac's mom,

Thanks for your advise. To come to think about it, yes, I think he's snacking oftentimes I will fall asleep nursing him so I don't really know how long he drink for. But whenever I wake up, he's still on the breast sucking, so to me it seems like he's forever drinking. Will stay awake today and make sure he get the full meal everytime he nurses at night. Hopefully things will work out.

But for those times when he root for the breast before mealtime, should i give it to him? If not, how to do so without him waking himself up and making a fuss?

[Colin Macs Mom]

Do you mean rooting at night? The way I see it you have two choices....

1. Try giving him a paci. The good old bait and switch! I know that you said he rejects it but perhaps if he's not really awake it would work...?

2. Just don't give it to him. It might mean a few nights of ickiness, but in the long run you would both be much happier.

[iemuhs]

Hi,

I'm back to report that things are not getting any better. My DS is still waking up every 2 hours at night to feed. My efforts to get him back to sleep by patting, carrying or putting him in my Amby hammock haven't been very helpful. Being so tired, in the end I will just give him the breast and he will suck for around 15 mins and slip back to sleep. I know I am reinforcing his night wakings but what can I do???! urrgh. I really need some help here.  It used to be easier to get him back to sleep when he accepted the paci but he has rejected it since about 2 weeks ago. Since then, I have been nursing him to sleep at bedtime. Could this be the reason? I am at a lost.... shh/ pat doesn't work for him and if I don't nurse him to sleep, I really dunno what would work... CIO??!  I hope I won't go into that territory..

Appreciate some help and thanks in advance!

[Colin Macs Mom]

I also hope that you don't go into CIO territory! 

Unfortunately, you have swapped one prop for another - the paci for the breast/feeding. It's time to teach your lo to sleep truly independently with no props. Not a lot of fun, but it will be soooo worth it in the end. Your lo isn't quite old enough yet for PU/PD, but have you tried a modification of shh/pat? I used to do more of a shhh/hold because the patting just riled up DS even more and made him mad. I would put one arm across his knees and the other across his chest and then shhh. It worked great! Don't be afraid to be creative and modify things a bit - BW is about flexibility.

[bangkok mum]

Hi iemuhs

unfortunately not here to help but saw that you ahve an amby hammock. am thinking of getting one and am wondering how you are finding it for your little one.  i think maybe not great becuase he is sleeping with you anyway.  would appreciate any advice you have to offer about hammock. 

deidre

[iemuhs]

Hi Bangkok mum,

The hammock works great for my LO actually, but I am using it as a prop (opps!) and bouncing him to sleep in it. He's only in it for his naps and he sleeps pretty well there. Nap for between 45min to 2 hours. I got the amby out of desperation actually when he wasn't sleeping well for his naps. It would take forever to get him to sleep with patting and giving him the paci (he wants it then then) while lying on our bed, and he don't stay asleep for long. Now, he's out in max 10 min in the amby. It could be a coincidence since he's older now and perhaps his nervous system is more mature and can sleep better. But for his night sleep, we sleep on our bed. I thought it would be a good balance because I do not want him to get use to needing motion to sleep. Btw, these two nights, he's been sleeping better. Hope it will last, fingers crossed.

it's also helpful that you can just drape some light dark-colored blanket over the amby to make it darker inside for him to sleep without having to darken the room significantly.

Hope this is helpful for you.

[bangkok mum]

great to hear sleep is better, and thanks for info on amby hammock.  grace gets abit unsettled at night and has trouble going back to sleep and i think the amby hammock might help to soothe her abit, as us rocking her tends to work but she seems to need it for longer than we rock for cos we fall asleep!!

[iemuhs]

Hi,

My LO is now sleeping much better at night, for which I am very grateful.  He still needs 3-hourly feed and not sleeping through the night, but it's a major improvement from previously. I think giving him full feedings at night works. Have been trying not to fall asleep when feeding him  , also, DH and I are now no longer co-sleeping with my DS, I think it helps that the food source is not so near to him too!

But I have another question. Is it normal for my DS to be getting up at 5am and 5.30am in the morning? it seems very early. His bedtime is around 7.00pm and he's usually asleep by 7.30pm or 8.00pm latest. He gets about 4-4.5 hours of naptime in the day. He's getting many naps in the day due to his early wake-up time, around 4 naps and 1 cat nap in the evening. is it ok for his age (3 months)? I am thinking that maybe in the longer term when he has less naps in the day, he will sleep longer at night?

[Colin Macs Mom]

Glad to hear that you've seen some improvement! Some los do need night feeds more than others and that's fine, but make sure that he's not doing all or most of his eating at night.

Some los are also early risers natually - that morning person vs. night person thing, so to speak. Do you think that maybe he needs less sleep than the average lo? If so then bed at 7 and up at that time would be normal. Most los your age will sleep at least 12 hours at night though. If you really want to try and change that, then try playing with his daytime sleep a bit but not enough that he gets overtired.