Its time to try...and we're desperate for good advice!

[Hazels Mom]

Our 16 month old still needs to have a bottle & be rocked to sleep every night.  We think its definitely time for her to learn to go to sleep on her own...but how???  She's soooo used to this routine we don't know where to begin.  How do we make it less traumatic for us all?  I'm pretty sure she will scream bloody murder for quite some time... and I'm not good with cio. (Incidentally, this is her only bottle of the day.)  For the last couple of months her daycare has her going down for a nap after lunch, with all the rest of the kids at the same time, with nothing but a little backrub.  It seems she's the one who's got US trained.  We have a four night stretch coming up where my husband and I can really give this our all.  Can we get it done?  PLEASE HELP!

[Devon's mommy]

If you haven't already, you should read the posts from the subject line: "Support and chat for mom's starting Walk In/Walk Out.  I've just started this WI/WO trick myself and after only 3 days I've seen great improvement with my 20 mo son.  Everyone else swears by it too.  It's not easy, it's work, but it's also not too traumatizing for the little one.  I think that at this age they understand that you just want them to fall asleep, and they might think that they can't do it, and they get mad, and maybe get their feelings a little hurt, but you are still there responding to their cries, you are doing them a favor, and they will fall asleep eventually.  Then every day it will get easier and easier.  You just have to be very patient and consistent.  It definitely works if you do it right.  Good luck!

Debbie

[Hazels Mom]

I have read it... but just to clarify this wi/wo thing...  every time she cries I am supposed to go right back in?  When I go right back in do I pick her up and soothe her or what?  Just lie her back down and go back out?  Thats where I'm confused.   

[Devon's mommy]

Yes, when she starts crying, you are supposed to count to 5 and go back in, lay her down, say in a nice soothing voice, shhh, it's okay, it's time to go to sleep - or something like that - then walk out and do it over and over and over.  And you still walk out of the room even if she's still crying.

Sometimes, if my son is laying down already, I don't go all the way in the room, I just stick my head in the door and shush him.  And sometimes when he's really hysterical (like he was this afternoon when we did WI/WO) I'll try and calm him down a little bit by staying in the room longer and sometimes I give him a quick little hug before I lay him down.  Sometimes I wait a little longer than 5 seconds too, but mostly I try and stick to 5.
 
For naptime today it took almost an hour and a half before he fell asleep ( he was very mad, and overtired), and he actually finally gave up and fell asleep while I was taking a 5 minute break from going in his room because I was frustrated and half contemplating putting him in the car and taking him for a short drive.  Now he's taking a really long nap because he was extremely tired and I'm going to have to wake him.

I don't know how long it's going to take us to ween him from the props we've been using, but he has slept thru the night every night since we started this, yesterday was a breeze, and I'm sure that eventually he'll stop needing me in the room entirely.

Good luck!  Let us know how it goes. 

Debbie

[Hazels Mom]

Oh my gosh!  I simply cannot believe this.  I put her down tonight without a bottle.  It was the easiest bedtime we've ever had! 

She only slept for an hour at daycare today, and after dinner we played really hard so she'd be tired.  When we went into her room she immediately started crying for the bottle (I was so bracing myself for a night of hell).  Somehow I diverted her attention to her books.  She saw an old binky on the ground that is basically her "toy".  (She's never ever taken a pacifier before...and we tired forever when she was an infant.)  Anyway sucking the paci seemed to soothe her.  She rubbed her eyes.  i put her in the crib and rubbed her back for three minutes and she was OUT!  Like a light. Serioulsy.  This has NEVER happened. Its been an hour and 15 minutes and so far so good.  I just can't believe I didn't get a crying hissy fit.  (I'm still waiting for her to wake up screaming.)  

trust me... we have a high maintenance kid.  My husband actually stalled coming home because he figured it would be a total nightmare.  i am simply stunned.  I think this was some kind of fluke!  Anyway, at this point I don't even care about the binky... its sure better than the alternative.

Anyway.. Thanks for the advice.  I understand now what I am supposed to do for wi/wo. I feel so reassured to have some backup...  (Glad to hear you use car rides too!  I thought we were the one ones.) 

Saying a little prayer that my unbelievably good fortune continues!  I'm sure I'll be back.

[Devon's mommy]

Wow, sounds like you're off to a good start!!!    Hopefully it will continue to be that easy!  I don't want to discourage you, but it probably won't.   I think that after a few days of it they start to get really mad.  Day 3 for me was very easy, then day 4 was a complete nightmare - so much that I ended up giving in.  I certainly don't recommend giving in though because it only makes the next sleep time harder, because they think that "well, she gave in last night, so maybe she will again this time".  I'm sure I'm going to pay for it today. I've never heard my son scream so loud and for so long.  I've never seen him in such a state.  It made fever upset.

Everyone keeps telling me not to give up because it pays off in the end.  So good luck to you.  I hope you have an easier time than I've had.  Maybe in a few weeks we'll both have toddlers who go to sleep quickly with no help, and sleep thru the night every night.  Won't that be nice!

Debbie

[Hazels Mom]

OK.  Night # 2 went pretty well.  Though I wussed out and didn't even do wi/wo.  I put her in the crib, rubbed her back, and shhhhh'd until she went to sleep.  It took about 15-20 minutes... with no crying.  But this is two nights in a row without a bottle, and I think its a major step in the right direction.  I guess I'm thinking I will get her off the bottle completely first, then I will move forward with wi/wo.  One step at a time, right?
Hope your night went well too! 

[Devon's mommy]

That's not a bad idea to eliminate the bottle first.  But it kind of sounds like she already knows how to fall asleep on her own since she does it at day care.  Right?  Maybe getting used to doing it at home too won't be so hard.

[Hazels Mom]

Things are going better than expected.  Bottles are totally gone and she's cool with it.  We've been taking turns lying beside her bed til she goes to sleep and thats been going well.  Then sunday night she took well over an hour to put herself to sleep, but crying. 

tonite it was the husband's turn.  Of course he didn;t have the patience to stay there while she was bouncing up and down in the crib so he left.  i thought for sure we'd have to do wi/wo all night long.  I was lurking in the hallway ready to go in but her cires seemed fake,  and she'd wait a while between them.  She fell asleep on her own with out us in just a few minutes!  Woo hoo!

I just can't believe how well this whole thing is going.  This darling child of ours has been difficult to get to sleep since day one... the colic...nursing to sleep for 8 months...the whole sha-bang.  I don't want to jinx it, but maybe this is going well because of how dam hard the last 16 months have been!

How goes it on your end. is it getting better?  light at the end of the tunnel?

[onesock]

Wow, your daughter sounds just like mine!  We've had the same issues since day one and I'm preparing myself for WI/WO very soon.  Congrats on your success!

[Hazels Mom]

Just go for it! 

My sister-in-law swears by the Baby Whisperer method.  Worked for both of her kids in three days.  After a family trip to her place, she promptly directed me to this website.  Obviously this is a huge support net to get you through things. 

Keep us posted on how it goes!