why is my son waking?

[mmmmchoc]

My sons sleep has gone down the drain, and i really dont know what i can do to fix it.

He slept through at an early age until 3 months old when he started getting his first teeth, from there it was all down hill waking once a night, then twice, then thrice, now its 3 times and up for the day at 5am.

He is now 9 months old and i feel like ive run out of things to try,

when he wakes up he isnt hungry, i offer him a bottle and he dosnt take it,
he dosnt want cuddles and he just pushes away from me when i try to hold him,
if i try pat his back it sends him into a screaming fit like he is angry that im there, ive tried changing his nappy and it dosnt make a difference,
ive tried dreamfeeding with a nappy change/ without a nappy change and it dosnt make a difference.
Ive tried leaving him for 5 mins to see if he will settle...he dosnt,
have made the room warmer/colder/lighter/darker...

all these things we have tried in a consistant manner over the last 6 months to see if it will make a difference, nothing does.

It generally takes an hour to an hour and a half of him screaming before he falls asleep exhausted...only for him to wake up 3-4 hours later, dp and i are holding or patting him throughout the hour (thankgod for ipods) but lately we have been tempted to just leave him although we havnt yet,

what more can i do? dp and i are exhausted and we just dont know where to go from here

thanks 

[teezee]

first {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}} to you and dp!

second - leaving lo to cry will only make things worse/harder for everyone here.

could you pls post lo's routine and answer the list of questions in the link 'pls read before posting?' that would be a great help to see where problems could lie.

[mmmmchoc]

How old is your child?

9 months

What’s his/her daily routine?

5-6 wake B/f
6:30 Brekkie
8 nap 1-1 1/2hrs
10 bottle
12 lunch
1 nap 45mins-hr
2 bottle
4:30 sometimes has a nap but starting to drop this one
6 dinner
6:30 bath
7 Bottle/bed

What’s nap routine?

Nap routine is nappy change, book, lullaby, cuddle while walking for 1 minute, put into cot and protests a little (maybe a minute) but usually asleep within 3 minutes

How long are naps?

usually one 1 1/2 hour nap and one 45 min-1 hr nap sometimes an extra 45 min nap in late afternoon

What's bedtime routine? Time?

Has a bath and is dressed, breast/bottle, cuddles with daddy, book, lullaby, cuddle while walking for 1 minute, put into cot, usually self settles within 3 minutes. Bed time is 7pm

Do you bottle or breastfed??

Both, breastfeed morning and evening and bottle feed othertimes

How much? or how long?

about 4 ounces per bottle or 5 min breast

If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)

one

How many wakes per night?

3-4

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?

Acts like he is angry, fussing and shouting, usually up for 40mins-1hr sometimes longer and if we are lucky less

When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?

fussing/crying

What have you tried to settle??

usually cuddles to settle initially and then patting on the back while saying soothing things or singing softly

What do you do for A time and how long is it?

A time is usually 2 1/2 - 3 hours, we usually crawl around on the floor and play with toys... the usual mischief

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?

Not really, he got all his teeth a while ago and no new ones coming through, he started to crawl a month ago and is cruising furniture but his waking has been consistantly bad through all his milestones

Do they have a prop? If so what is it?

No props

Do they have a lovie?

I have a little blankie that i put in the cot with him but he dost even know its there, ive tried to show it to him but he just isnt interested

[teezee]

i def think your lo should be at only one nap by this point - as if he is getting that third nap it could be a big reason lo is waking early - he is getting too much day sleep.

also, try letting lo get that longer nap in the pm rather than in the am. if lo is making up for the lost night time sleep with a good long am nap than you are going to keep going in a cycle...as lo is 'continuing' that night sleep at this time  so will not NEED to sleep longer into the reg wake up time he used to have. so try switching those two naps around and see how it works out along with eliminating that third catnap..have a catnap in the morning and longer pm nap only.

i think that for a bit (til the nap thing/early wake up gets sorted out) you should put lo to bed earlier so he won't become overtired as that can also contribute...and at least it will be ruled out then and if lo was 'needing' that extra nap this should help transition from 3 to 2 naps without overtiredness coming into play at all. i really think the 'xtra' nap could be playing a major role in this waking in the early morning - like i said imo i would rather put lo down early if tired rather than give that extra nap - at least he will be making up for the sleep in the right time frame - at bedtime.

if lo is waking at 6 i would def wait a bit longer to put him down for the nap..under this circumstance giving that nap at 8am would be way to early and he won't learn to stay asleep in the early am as he doesn't need to kwim? look at the first nap as an extension of the night sleep - if lo has had a good night's sleep and is nicely rested then he won't 'need' to have an early and long am nap..this being the reason the longer one at this pt shoudl be in the pm...

what is the nature of the wakings? early one? other night wakings? are you possibly going in too soon..and lo isn't able to have a chance to self soothe?? or is it an all out cry?? how do you respond to the wakes (other than the early am one?)? maybe try waiting a minute or two longer before going to lo at night...if lo is screaming the 'i need you NOW' cry go to him - but if it is more fussing/whining/mantra - let him go a little and see if he starts to settle himself. when you do go to him always try to keep lo in the crib and settle that way rather than by picking up/cuddling/rocking etc.

i also think that if lo only has 2.5 hrs A time it is too little at this age..3 is more like it and i would keep it closer to 3-3.5 (if lo can handle 3.5hrs) that way the day will be pushed forward some..and bedtime won't have to be 'as' early - just be sure with any extra A time you do it slowly and low key and that lo isn't getting overtired at all.

hth. keep us posted