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Offline Critter

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Separation Anxiety...
« on: June 16, 2006, 13:54:33 pm »
Not sure if this is the right place to post this, but here goes...

Luke just turned 1 on June 10.  He's been a VERY happy boy, even when he had double ear infections and RSV, we still got smiles.  Lately, he's so crabby.  At first I thought it was separation anxiety, now I am wondering if it is something else.

We recently took a two week vacation with my SIL and nephew and he was GREAT the whole time we were gone.  It was when we got back that things started going down hill.  Tuesday he started at Mother's Day Out.  I am working there teaching music.  I don't go into his room for music time, but I have to walk by there often.  Everytime I walked by he was screaming.  I think he cried all day.  Part of it is that he didn't get a nap and he normally takes two.  He cried most of the evening.  Wednesday we were home and he was ok for the most part...until I walked out of the room.  Yesterday at MDO was a nightmare.  He cried all day.  Finally, I just went in there and held him.  He cried so much that he got all of the other babies worked up.  Not good when they're trying to put 7 babies down for a nap, y'know?  Well, the minute I took him, he was quiet and still and fell asleep on my shoulder.  Should I just stay out?  I want to help if I can.  No sense in keeping all the other babies up, but did I do the right thing?  So, Mr. No Naps decided that he wanted to crash at about 5:15 last night and he did for about an hour.  Well, at 7:30, right on schedule, he rubbed his eyes and yawned, so we put him to bed.  That's another issue.  We used to be able to put him down with no fuss.  Now, he screams and screams.  I don't like to let him CIO, but I've had to do it on occasion. 

I know I am rambling, but I just don't know what to do.  Is this all related to the developmental milestones (walking, jumping, "mamamamamama" and "dadadadadada") or is it Separation Anxiety? 

I guess my biggest question is HOW DO I HANDLE IT?  I hate just letting him cry.  It's miserable for EVERYONE!

HELP!
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Offline Mom to M&M

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #1 on: June 16, 2006, 14:39:48 pm »
Hmmm - sounds to me like a combination of developmental and separation anxiety. If so, CIO may only intensify things so please don't go that route.

It sounds like a lot has changed for him lately - with Mother's Day Out and all in particular. What does he do while there? How are the caretakers handling his crying? I think you did the right thing by going in there and reassuring him. Can you maybe take him there one day but stay half the time and be in his sight so he can see you while he plays there and learns it's safe?

Also, has anything else changed lately - like dorpping bottles if you bottle feed or weaning if you BF? My best friend's daughter is same age as Luke (turned one on June 8) and she had been on two bottles a day and doing well with straw cup. So my friend dropped the bottles and went to cup only - it seemed fine for about a week and then her daughter freaked out - we think she associated bottles with Mommy and less bottles meant less Mommy in her head. So my friend brought back one bottle but kept the other out and will drop the last one again in a few more weeks. And she makes sure to sit with her daughter and offer some physical contact during her other "cup" times - so it feels more bonding. Don't know if that's an issue at all with Luke - but just thought I'd mention it.
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Offline TDR'smom

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #2 on: June 16, 2006, 14:43:45 pm »
My spirited DS is normally happy go lucky and only gets fussy nad out of sorts when something is wrong...

missed nap
hungry
teething
ear infection
sick

It might be worth getting him checked out to rule out an ear infection or virus???

Good luck!
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Judy






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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #3 on: June 16, 2006, 14:46:15 pm »
That's a good idea too! My DD gets REALLY clingy when teething or sick.
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Offline TDR'smom

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2006, 14:48:12 pm »
Before I picked up on this, I kept thinking he was changing his personality from a happy baby to becoming a clingy, whiny lo!!!  I was so nervous as I do not have the patience for that.  BAD MOMMY!!! :-[ :-[ :-[ :-[
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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2006, 14:50:15 pm »
We just had his well check and he was totally clear.  He has tubes in his ears, so I am really a freak about his ears.  I think it might be some teething, but he's never really had a hard time wtih his teeth.

We are no longer on bottles.  We were totally done with bottles a week before his birthday.  I have thought that might be an issue.  WE still have cuddle time before bed and we read before naps.  I just don't know...
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Offline TDR'smom

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2006, 14:52:44 pm »
Could it be the type of teeth that are coming in?  I know some hurt more than others.

I don't know as my lo is 1 yr 2 weeks with still only his 2 bottom teeth?!?!?!? ??? ??? ???

Any teething experts out there?  I know there are a bunch of you around!!! :)
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Judy






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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #7 on: June 16, 2006, 15:27:28 pm »
LOL TDR's mom - I know - same here. DD is normally happy and independent and if she's getting sick or about to cut a tooth - bam!

Amy - did he go off bottles all at once or one at a time? If all at once maybe was too sudden and too many changes with the new MDO thing?

Eye teeth supposedly hurt the most - could he be getting those?
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Offline Richelle

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #8 on: June 16, 2006, 17:40:24 pm »

HI

Just wanted to pop on and ask if he is walking yet?  Just about to?

A couple of weeks before my DD started walking she was a BEAR!!!!  Once she got the walking thing going she turned back into an angel.

Just a thought if it helps,

Richelle
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Richelle

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Offline Critter

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2006, 18:06:58 pm »
You are all so great to help me figure this out!!!

We did the bottles gradually. He actually decided when he didn't want them.  Kinda funny how that works.  When he'd refuse a bottle, we'd cut it out.  It was usually about 2-3 weeks between drops.  He did really well in that department.

He started walking on his birthday.  He doesn't have it down yet, but he's working really hard at it.

As far as teeth go, there are about 4 that have been trying to make their way out.  All on the bottom.  Poor dude.

He's been muuuuuuuuuch better today.  He got his morning nap and we're getting ready to wind down for the afternoon one here in a few minutes.  Thanks for all the help
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Offline LeslieG

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #10 on: June 16, 2006, 18:33:04 pm »
Amy - Abbi has been affected differently with different teeth. I think it could be that, it could be his walking...while I know how hard it is to be patient, I think that letting him CIO might not be the answer either. (Even though I was just saying this morning that I might try it with Abbi ;))  It is hard to know but I bet he will return to himself soon.
Glad that he has been better today!
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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #11 on: June 16, 2006, 22:46:39 pm »
You guys, I feel like I have my baby back.  It's wierd.  I guess from now on I'll just post before I get stressed out about it  ;).  This afternoon, we started reading books at about 1:15.  Ten minutes later I put him in his bed and he laid down and actually cooed for a minute.  I went to lay down myself and I could hear him in there talking to himself and just being content for almost 30 minutes before he fell asleep.

I think that the MDO just really throws him for a loop.  Poor guy misses BOTH of his naps.  I think (did I post this earlier?) that I am going to try to get there early on Tuesday and go into a dark room off of the infant room and rock him and put him in a crib in the dark room.  That way, maybe he'll at least get ONE of his naps.  Here's hopin'.
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God will give you exactly what you ask Him for, even if it's not in the package you expected it to be in.

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Clay 12-17-08

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2006, 14:28:35 pm »
So glad to hear it! I think it will definitely help if he can at least get one nap on MDO days - he sounds like my DD - she becomes a whole different baby when she's overtired!
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Offline TDR'smom

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Re: Separation Anxiety...
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2006, 14:43:39 pm »
Good Luck!!   :) :) :) :)

She is so cute.  Love the tongue in that picture :P :P :P
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Judy






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