1 on 1 with your toddler

[Khyan & Sahria's mum]

Recently I've been thinking about how much time I spend playing 1 on 1 with Khyan (26 mths), especially considering that we have a baby coming in 12 weeks or so 

When I have to share my time is it going to be a huge shock to Khyan - so I guess now is the time to REALLY encourage independant play for a chunk of the day.

At the moment we spend probably 4 or so hours 1 on 1 per day - what is your opinion ?

I'll add a poll so that I can still get an idea of how much time you all spend 1 on 1 with your toddlers too !  - I've just realised I have no idea how to do a poll on this new site   well anyway I'll look into it and see what I can work out !

TIA

[Marisa's Mom]

Interesting question. I think there will be varying results depending on LO's disposition and LO's age.

My LO, 15 monhts, is a bit more clingy/needy, so we spend quite a bit of 1 on 1 time, but she is also capable of playing on independently for a few minutes (or while watching the Wiggles  ), but then she'll come back to me to engage me in some activity. With the amount of attention she needs from me, I keep wondering when would be the best time to have baby #2.

[Katet]

I would say that I wouldn't spend more than 2 hours, but that doesn't include time when we are actually doing activities at the same time... ie he is helping me cook, garden etc. I would sit down with both boys on the rug & kind of play with them simultaniously eg helping Aiden with a puzzle, while building towers for Liam to distroy, but as a general rule I do lots of things with them "next to me" but not actually actively engaging 1 on 1.
When Liam was a baby, I used to read to Aiden while I fed/settled him for naps & he had a basket of toys in Liam's room to play with whil I did nappy changes. The way they now nap 1 on 1 time is fairly limited & me actually physically playing with them is about 10-15mins every hour... as long as I am right with them I tend to find they play fairly independantly... Liam (unless he is tired or sick) has always been better at it though (Angel vs Spirited/Grumpy), But Aiden isn't too bad especially with out doors play.

[Marisa's Mom]

but as a general rule I do lots of things with them "next to me" but not actually actively engaging 1 on 1.

Do you remember when you were able to do more of the "next to me" activities rather than the "1 on 1" activities?

I'm almost always next to DD in the same room where we either do "1 on 1" or she plays a bit independently and comes back to me frequently for more attention. It's usually so often that I don't really get to concentrate on any one thing. I'm just wondering around what age I should expect DD to be able to play independently "next to me"  while I'm doing something else like prepping/cooking dinner, reading a book, fiddling on the computer, etc.  As it is now, DD needs constant attention most of the time. That's just with me. She's more of an indpendent play kinda gal when DH is watching her.  Not sure why she treats us so differently. 

[Fife_Mum]

I probably spend about 1.5 hours on an average 'at-home' day one-on-one with Fraser, but it works out as a lot more if I include time when Arwen is awake so it is one-to-two... At the moment we are usually reading or doing a jigsaw or playing with trains whilst simultaneously entertaining Arwen - letting her 'join-in' or trying to distract her from unsuitable stuff with other toys. But it is fantastic when they can do things together (with me supervising) like building towers (just Fraser) and taking turns knocking it down. I have even painted with both of them. Fraser can entertain himself when needed and Arwen can - just so long as she is in the same room as me and not too tired.

You'll still spend the time with your toddler but you'll both have company and I'm sure Khyan will soon happily take himself off to play when you are busy. But there is no harm in enjoying your time with Khyan now