Great self soother/sleeper SUDDENLY not want to go to sleep - SCREAMING!!!

[herbst99]

Hi all
I haven't posted in such a long time - DD have been a managable 16mth old Spirited one. Now - after always being able to get  herself to sleep (sleeproutine - bath, bottle, cuddle, sleep - she goes into her bed AWAKE) she is refusing for me to put her down in her cot. As soon as I get closer to the crib she screams. I am wondering about seperation anxiety? as she seems really upset at the thought of me leaving her - she used to be FINE. I sofar have been able to get her to sleep by wo/wi but am worried as I think she is really suddenly afraid of something. She also wakes up twice a night with the SAME problem going to sleep where before she would settle herself without me even acknowledging her waking!
I am at a loss! Any advice

[mollymoocat]

I am going through exactly the same with my 17mth DD.  See my posts on '17mth driving me crazy' or my reply on the 'Screaming' thread.

It makes me feel that either a) there is a sudden epidemic affecting our children or b) more realistically, it must be a developmental stage as they are about the same age.

I have just got my daughter down for a nap but this time I refused to stay in the room with her, I lay her down in the normal manner with her teddy and walked out of the room, she immediately jumped up and started crying but this time I stayed just outside the door where she could see me with the door open about five inches.  She carried on crying for 5mins, then picked teddy up and started sucking it (her way of soothing) and kept this up for another 5mins, then she'd lie down with ted but keep getting up again and watching me, crying etc. I stood my ground this time and did not speak to her or go in. after another 5mins she seemed quite cheerful talking to ted etc. so I crept into the next room out of sight.  She carried on chatting with the occasional screech but after another 10 minutes she was snoring her head off. 

It was so difficult not to go back in the room at the beginning because it did seem like something had frightened her but the longer I stayed outside the more determined I was that I wasn't going to start from scratch and it is far better to spend 30mins doing this than trying different methods for hours on end.

I think that something may have caused her to start with separation anxiety again and it could have been anything but probably due to development as they are far more aware of things now.  The trick is not to let it start off accidental parenting which is so tempting as we don't know what to do when they suddenly start to act this way after being so good until now.

I hope this is of help, I am going to try the same thing when I put her to bed tonight and hopefully it will eventually get her back into her old habits (fingers crossed).

[Florencia]

Sometimes is developmental, sometimes is teething but i have found this age to be particularly tough with spirited ones (my own case). I had pretty much what you describe at the same time and ended up 2 months later with 3 brand new molars (the first one popped at 13 mo with less fuss). How did i survive? teething meds 30 mins before each bedtime (on particularly bad days i even gave tylenol+motrin+homeopathic remedy at the same time... be sure to check with your ped first). I restorted to wi/wo after 2 week period of gentle removal plan (which i had to do because of accidental parenting, which is not your case). I also talked my lo a lot during the day about nap/bedtimes, we played to put stuffed animals to bed (we even put the fan to bed ) and he left the room and see that monkey/teddy/fan were ok, just as he was when i put him to bed and left. I made him put me to bed and played all that jazz until i eventually"convinced!" him that it was ok to go to bed. He never was like that as ababy, he'd be happy to be in his crib, but at 15-16 mo he just went crazy LOL...

I also found that a looong wind down (up to 20 mins) would help us too. During that wind down he would wave bye bye to everyone/everything (family, cleaning lady, trees, cats... you get the idea)... up till now he knows that everyone goes to nap at the same time he does and he's more happy with that.

So with spirited toddlers is more about letting them find a way to do things (or at least make them beleive it's their choice and their way ) and that will lead you to smoother bedtimes. HTH and that i made some sense!

[imsmum]

Nikki  what's her schedule like?  any changes in activities, health or teething?

[herbst99]

Thank you all for the replies. We have "discoverred" the problem - I have seen DD pulling on her ear the last little while ... had it checked out about 2 weeks ago (she had bronchitis) no problem with ears but got medicine for the bronchitis. Which should have cured ear problems if there was any BUT CLEARLY DIDN'T as DD has a very sticky ear!!! I feel so bad for being so strict with her at bedtimes - last night gave her pain meds and elevated her head with a pillow - NO PROBLEMS! SO hoping that is the end of this problem - Will try and keep on getting her to self sooth though.
ANYWAY
Keep well!

[Florencia]

poor little darling! she's lucky to have a mom that cares and is quick to discover anything new!... don't worry about being strict to her, remember what they say, better be safe than sorry... hope she's on the mend soon and hugs to you both!