should i stop breastfeeding?

[evelyn]

I really wanted to put " am i doing a diservice to my baby by continuing to breastfeed?" but it would not fit in the subject box, and the above title makes it sound like i want to stop but i dont. 

Excuse me if i sound all over the place but here is our story...

Lily is very attatched to me and my boobies.  She recently was unwell and was dehydrating so i had to really push the breastfeeding with her(not that she needed much persuasion).  I was off work for two weeks with her while she was unwell and she has got very very dependant on me while i was off.  I am now on holidays this week, but decided to give her 2 mornings with her childminder to get her back into the swing of things.  She had her first morning on tuesday and it did not go atall well.  The cm said she was as bad as her first day.  She only managed to drink 3oz from haberman and only slept for 1/2 an hour.  When i arrived to pick her up she was shattered and all puffy from the crying.

She has never been good taking bm from a haberman, only taking enough to keep going and then making up for it at night.  My days are long too....from 7.30 am until 8pm so it is a very long day for her.

She has beeen feeding to sleep since she was ill and has recentlt dropped to 2 naps a day which has thrown our previous routine out the window.

It just struck me earlier that she might find it easier to settle with other people if she was bottle fed fulltime.  I hate her having such a miserable time when i am not with her, she never crys for more than 5 minutes at home.  We also have to look for a new childminder to take the girls from september as our currrent lady is ceasing business.....so that will be more upheavel for her.

sorry if i rambled, im just very confused re the situation and so worried about my little boo.  Any advice welcome.

[Gippie]

I am going to say NO - you should not have to.  We went through something similar when I returned to work at 4 months after exclusively BF our DD.  Dh was at home with her (and his broken ankle) and she would not take a bottle from him for 3 days - and he was demanding  that I quit BF cause he was so frustrated by her seeming "attachment" and his sadness over her being hungry when I wasnt there to feed.    Our solution was to really push the bottle and Dh found a great way to feed her so she enjoys it and we have not loooked back.  I continue to give bottle feeds and have even started weaning, DD is just not interested in nursing an thats OK for me. 

My advice, find balance and do not feel as if you have to give up BF'ing - no way.    Just make sure she gets some bottles - EBM - if you pump.   Have you tried other bottles?  How old is DD?

Stacey

[evelyn]

Hi stacey, she is 8 1/2 months....and wise to all my tricks! 

I think i actually remember reading a post of yours when you had just started work  and feeling so sorry for you. 

We have a whole drawerful of different bottles and cups but she refuses all the bottles and has only just started to take some water from a cup.......she is so stubborn(dont know where she gets it from ). 

I guess the main thing for me to do is to get her to sleep without her feeding......but i dont know how to do this......

[deenz]

To answer the original question that you wanted to type in but couldn't  , NO, I don't think you're doing her a disservice by continuing to bf her.  I don't have any experience with working and bf'ing, only with bf'ing my two girls, and they have been very different in terms of their 'attachment' to me.  My dd2 is soooo much more 'attached' to me than dd1 was.  When I say this I mean in terms of being happy to be away from me.  At the moment dd2 (similar age to your dd - lovely name by the way  ) is just sooo 'clingy' it can be a bit of a pain (like when I want to put her down!) so I can't imagine having to put her in someone else's care.  Dd1 was not like this (or to this extreme), and their situations have been very similar (apart from the having-a-sibling part).  I bf dd1 until 25m.  So I don't believe that how she is 'behaving' is to do with bf'ing.  I think the re-adjustment to being back with the carer after a few weeks was bound to be difficult (and she possibly started with more separation anxiety during that time coincidentally anyway).  Also my dd2 has had a really weird month in terms of her napping and overall schedule, so possibly a yucky stage at the moment too.

If you were to stop bf'ing, how would she take her formula?

Anyway, just a few more thoughts for you.  Hope things work out for you, and you come to a new routine that works for you both.

[Katet]

I think it is more her age than the attachment to your boobies & bf.
My ds#1 was in childcare & got sick at 7.5months & 2 weeks off sick & a holiday) & him starting again was worse than when he started (6mo).
it is also very normal/common for bf babies to wake up in the night to make up their "Mummy quota" if they are separated from Mummy for extended periods... yep you can't really win, you want them to sleep well for your rest & sanity, but they need more time with you.

My ds also was shocking from the bottle from 8-11 months old & then suddenly decided he liked it & would only bf morning & night in the dark...I think you'd find she'd be the same with a bottle.

[nattymarsh]

I've asked myself the same question.     I really don't want to stop but it has been a major struggle to get my dd to take a bottle since she started refusing at 10 weeks.  I sometimes feel like if I can finally get her on the bottle maybe I should just leave it at that.  My dh hasn't asked me to stop bf'ing but has told me that I can't leave him alone with her until she is comfortable with the bottle and will take it from him because he feels so desperate and sad when she cries...this means no me time!   Since he works full time it has pretty much been up to me to try and get her to take the bottle so I express everyday and try.  Some weeks I will take a day or two off because it is definitely emotionally draining.  I made a bunch of accidental parenting mistakes like boobing her down to sleep and letting her nurse to calm instead of finding other ways so I'm working to overcome those things too.  I can't really offer you anything but empathy and hugs.  She will "kind of" take the bottle now, it usually takes about 40-60 minutes to get 4 oz into her, but she took it last night during the df for the first time, so I feels like there might be a light at the end of this booby tunnel.   

[Katet]

my ds#2 had bottles about 5 times, one time I was out for 7 hours (5mo) so he had to take milk another way... dh managed to get about 4oz to him from a sippy cup/bottle combination &  by the time he was 7mo he would take enough from a sippy cup that I was able to go out & miss feeds as he would take solids too.
if they won't take a bottle, from 5months, I'd start trying a sippy cup

[evelyn]

How much is enough from a sippy cup?  Last sunday i was working and lo was with dh and she only took 7 oz throughout the day...i had fed her at 6.30 am and then when i came home (early) at 6 pm.....is that enough to keep her going?  she had two night feeds that night.