Author Topic: Need help please with 4 wk old routine!  (Read 1093 times)

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Offline Mom2LukeandAudrey

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Need help please with 4 wk old routine!
« on: July 04, 2006, 18:11:28 pm »
Hi there -

My 4 week old dd is on a 2.5 - 3 hour EASY routine during the day but we are running into many obstacles.  The main problem is night time, but we also have problems with occasional naps.  Can someone please advise what they think would work for these issues?

1.  Nap problems -- some days my dd does great with her naps -- goes down fine and sleeps a good 1.5 to 2 hours.  Other days (like today) she will fall asleep only to wake up a few minutes later.  I return and do the shush/pat only to have the same thing happen.  I gave up after an hour as she was starting to root and it was now 2 hours since her last feed.  I just fed her, changed her, and put her back down as she is of course exhausted.  What is the best thing to do when this type of nap problem comes up?  Should I continue trying to get her down until it's been closer to 2.5 hours since her last feed?  I have a toddler, so I can't spend hours putting my LO down for a nap but am really trying to get my dd on a good routine.

2.  Night time sleep problems -- Even on days when my dd sleeps really well for her naps, we have problems at night.  She will occassionally go for a 3 hour stretch at night, but usually wakes up every 1 - 2 hours.  I've been feeding her as she is rooting (although she only eats a little and conks out).  She will occassionally take a pacifier but it only seems to enrage her.  She'll suck for a few minutes and then gets very agitated (presumably b/c milk isn't coming out?).  I think by feeding her during these frequent night wakings I am teaching her to need to nurse to get back to sleep, but i'm not sure what else to do.  I'm thinking about trying to hold her  off for a total of 3 hours during the night by shush/patting and or holding.  She does seem tired when she wakes but I have a hard time settling her back down.  I'm wondering if she's too young to try to hold off for the 3 hours or if this method will some how backfire? 
Is there another method I should try?  This whole thing about night time sleep falling into place when they are on a routine during the day just doesn't seem to pan out for my child!

3.  Day time sleep vs. night time sleep - I'm also wondering if she's getting too much day time sleep and therefore isn't tired at night?  She seems tired when she wakes up, but her frequently night wakings make me wonder.  She sleeps very soundly during the day usually 1.5 - 2 hour naps.  It seems there is a very fine line between infants getting too much sleep during the day (and therefore getting days/nights confused) or too little and having a hard time settling down at night.

Any insights you have are really appreciated.  I'm just exhausted and have a 3.5 yo ds at home with me too, so I need to get some sleep!  I'm trying to keep this is perspective that my dd is only 4 weeks old, but I'm hoping we can get her sleeping better at night very soon.  I'd be happy with just 3 or 4 hour stretches at this point!

Jen

Offline HeatherC

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Re: Need help please with 4 wk old routine!
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2006, 18:57:36 pm »
Sorry, I don't have enough time to fully answer your post right now, but I wanted to provide you this link in the mean time:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63933.0

I'll come back a bit later to answer properly.  We're celebrating 4th of July in just a bit (house full of people  :o).
Kelsey, Feb. 4, 2005
Landon, Jan. 2, 2007

Offline Mom2LukeandAudrey

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Re: Need help please with 4 wk old routine!
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2006, 19:47:36 pm »
Hi Heather -

Thanks for the information on the sibling parenting.  I will check it out.  We had a better day and night yesterday - my dd went down for a few good naps and went 3 hours between feeds last night.  Part of the problem (or maybe just additional problem) is it takes about 2 hours to get her to sleep at night and then she is up for quite a while with each night feed.  Here was her day/night yesterday:

E 7:30
A
S 8:30 (goes down very easily for first morning nap)

E 10:30 (I have to wake her from her first nap to keep on the 3 hour schedule)
A
S 12:00 (took 15 minutes for her to settle down to sleep but she woke up after 40 minutes -- I did shush/pat variation but she just fussed and eventually screamed)

E 1:25
A
S 2:15 (she woke up midway through nap but settled herself back down without intervention)

E 4:30
A
S 5:30

E 6:40
A Bath and bedtime routine
E 7:15 (She always wants to eat again after bath)
S 7:45 - In bed swaddled, doing shush/pat until she is out.  She wakes again and fusses -- I go in once it turns to crying/screaming and shush/pat until asleep.  We repeat this cycle over and over.  She didn't actually fall asleep for good until 9:00 pm

E 10:00
Awake/fussing
S 10:45

E 1:20
Awake/fussing
S 2:00

E 4:30
Awake/fussing
S 6:00

E 7:30 -- awake for the day and start whole thing over again!

She always has a period of an hour or two in the middle of the night where she is awake and fussing.  She will fall asleep if I get her out of her crib and rock or cuddle, but she is always awake minutes after being put back in.  I didn't get her out last night (except for feeds/changes) and just tried to comfort her with shush/pat or her paci.  She was up for 5 hours a few nights ago which was brutal.

Do you have any advice on how we can get over the 2 hour bedtime struggle putting her down at night or the middle of the night periods?

Thanks!

Jen

Offline HeatherC

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Re: Need help please with 4 wk old routine!
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2006, 00:01:03 am »
I think you have a great routine, and I can find nothing that would be leading to her troubles at night.  Does she always take that long to settle for bedtime?  Do you think she has gas problems?  My dd did, and it was it's worst at night.  She would grunt and groan for hours, and never properly sleep.  I used gas relief drops with her at each feed, and an extra dose before bed.

1.  Nap problems -- some days my dd does great with her naps -- goes down fine and sleeps a good 1.5 to 2 hours.  Other days (like today) she will fall asleep only to wake up a few minutes later.  I return and do the shush/pat only to have the same thing happen.  I gave up after an hour as she was starting to root and it was now 2 hours since her last feed.  I just fed her, changed her, and put her back down as she is of course exhausted.  What is the best thing to do when this type of nap problem comes up?  Should I continue trying to get her down until it's been closer to 2.5 hours since her last feed?
Sometimes things just don't go according to plan.  If she's taking good naps most of the time, I'd say the bad ones are just a fluke and maybe something's bothering her.  At least she can sleep past one sleep cycle and you're not having to battle that problem.  I think her daytime sleep is great.  You are right that the effort in resettling her can make her hungry, so go ahead and feed her at 2-2.5 hrs.  However, as she ages, you'll want to try to hold her off for as close to the 2.5 hrs, and eventually 3 hrs as possible.  You don't want a snacker on your hands.  And, yes, after a poor nap, feed, quick A time so she doesn't feed to sleep, and try for the nap again right away.

2.  Night time sleep problems -- Even on days when my dd sleeps really well for her naps, we have problems at night.  She will occassionally go for a 3 hour stretch at night, but usually wakes up every 1 - 2 hours.  I've been feeding her as she is rooting (although she only eats a little and conks out).  She will occassionally take a pacifier but it only seems to enrage her.  She'll suck for a few minutes and then gets very agitated (presumably b/c milk isn't coming out?).  I think by feeding her during these frequent night wakings I am teaching her to need to nurse to get back to sleep, but i'm not sure what else to do.  I'm thinking about trying to hold her  off for a total of 3 hours during the night by shush/patting and or holding.  She does seem tired when she wakes but I have a hard time settling her back down.  I'm wondering if she's too young to try to hold off for the 3 hours or if this method will some how backfire?
It sounds to me like she is using you as a human pacifier.  I assume you are bf'ing.  My advice is to either check the breastfeeding boards to find out how many night feedings are common at her age, and/or the props board in the sleep forums to find out how and if you can/should be using another method to send her back to sleep.  I don't think you are teaching her at this age to nurse back to sleep.

3.  Day time sleep vs. night time sleep - I'm also wondering if she's getting too much day time sleep and therefore isn't tired at night?  She seems tired when she wakes up, but her frequently night wakings make me wonder.  She sleeps very soundly during the day usually 1.5 - 2 hour naps.  It seems there is a very fine line between infants getting too much sleep during the day (and therefore getting days/nights confused) or too little and having a hard time settling down at night.
I think her nap times are fine.  It is very common for babies to have trouble settling at night.  I assume it has to do with their internal systems.  Just the activity of being woken, eating, being changed, and looking at the walls is alot for them to handle, so even though they've napped well, they're pooped by the end of the day and can't shut off the frustration.  I think you'll find her settle better as she ages.
Kelsey, Feb. 4, 2005
Landon, Jan. 2, 2007