I think you have a great routine, and I can find nothing that would be leading to her troubles at night. Does she always take that long to settle for bedtime? Do you think she has gas problems? My dd did, and it was it's worst at night. She would grunt and groan for hours, and never properly sleep. I used gas relief drops with her at each feed, and an extra dose before bed.
1. Nap problems -- some days my dd does great with her naps -- goes down fine and sleeps a good 1.5 to 2 hours. Other days (like today) she will fall asleep only to wake up a few minutes later. I return and do the shush/pat only to have the same thing happen. I gave up after an hour as she was starting to root and it was now 2 hours since her last feed. I just fed her, changed her, and put her back down as she is of course exhausted. What is the best thing to do when this type of nap problem comes up? Should I continue trying to get her down until it's been closer to 2.5 hours since her last feed?
Sometimes things just don't go according to plan. If she's taking good naps most of the time, I'd say the bad ones are just a fluke and maybe something's bothering her. At least she can sleep past one sleep cycle and you're not having to battle that problem. I think her daytime sleep is great. You are right that the effort in resettling her can make her hungry, so go ahead and feed her at 2-2.5 hrs. However, as she ages, you'll want to try to hold her off for as close to the 2.5 hrs, and eventually 3 hrs as possible. You don't want a snacker on your hands. And, yes, after a poor nap, feed, quick A time so she doesn't feed to sleep, and try for the nap again right away.
2. Night time sleep problems -- Even on days when my dd sleeps really well for her naps, we have problems at night. She will occassionally go for a 3 hour stretch at night, but usually wakes up every 1 - 2 hours. I've been feeding her as she is rooting (although she only eats a little and conks out). She will occassionally take a pacifier but it only seems to enrage her. She'll suck for a few minutes and then gets very agitated (presumably b/c milk isn't coming out?). I think by feeding her during these frequent night wakings I am teaching her to need to nurse to get back to sleep, but i'm not sure what else to do. I'm thinking about trying to hold her off for a total of 3 hours during the night by shush/patting and or holding. She does seem tired when she wakes but I have a hard time settling her back down. I'm wondering if she's too young to try to hold off for the 3 hours or if this method will some how backfire?
It sounds to me like she is using you as a human pacifier. I assume you are bf'ing. My advice is to either check the breastfeeding boards to find out how many night feedings are common at her age, and/or the props board in the sleep forums to find out how and if you can/should be using another method to send her back to sleep. I don't think you are teaching her at this age to nurse back to sleep.
3. Day time sleep vs. night time sleep - I'm also wondering if she's getting too much day time sleep and therefore isn't tired at night? She seems tired when she wakes up, but her frequently night wakings make me wonder. She sleeps very soundly during the day usually 1.5 - 2 hour naps. It seems there is a very fine line between infants getting too much sleep during the day (and therefore getting days/nights confused) or too little and having a hard time settling down at night.
I think her nap times are fine. It is very common for babies to have trouble settling at night. I assume it has to do with their internal systems. Just the activity of being woken, eating, being changed, and looking at the walls is alot for them to handle, so even though they've napped well, they're pooped by the end of the day and can't shut off the frustration. I think you'll find her settle better as she ages.
