How to teach a REALLY tense preschooler to RELAX?

[deb]

I'm trying to help Josie relax her body, partly to help her in the water when she's floating, and partly just because she gets so TENSE and it'd be good to have this to use as a tool to help her defuse whenshe's getting wound up or just needs a break.

I've tried demonstrating with me, I've tried using rag dolls and stuffed animals, I've tried pointing out the few times that SHE is relaxed, I've shown her on her bed, on the floor, in the water, but she's still not getting the concept. (Yeah, I know, if she saw me relax more maybe she wouldn't be so clueless.... )

Any suggestions?

TIA,

[maggieruth]

what about using lots of deep pressure?  make a Josie sandwich using couch cushions (bread, a few blankets or smaller cushions can be pickles or whatever she likes and then a cushion on top for more bread) and gently apply pressure through.  make certain her head stays out one side!  its pretty hard to resist this for many kids and its very relaxing usually.  you can get the same effect by having her lie in bed and tucking her in tightly and even adding cushions, books etc to add extra weight.
otherwise relaxing can be a pretty tough concept!  with kids who are a bit bigger you can teach them to lie down on the floor and tense all their muscles (even face, neck stc) and then relax and they can sometimes understand the corresponding difference and how to create it but its hard.
HTH!

[mcruari]

Sorry Deb, I seem to be following you around the boards but you are just so intersting

It is an art. Relaxing is pretty difficult in this lifetime as our lives are so busy and intense. I personally find it very hard to relax but one good piece of advice I received from my osteopath is to make sure that your back teeth do not touch when your mouth is closed. Just to explain - pretend to look like an idiot with your jaw dropped and maybe even mouth open. OK, it doesn't have to be that eveident and you can in fact keep you mouth closed, but that is the idea. If your jaw is tense, you'll tend to have a headache, backache and a general sense of muscle-tension in your body. Would you be able to teach Josie to look like that? It could be fun

[isaac'smom]

Would she enjoy (tolerate?) some yoga for kids DVDs? I don't know any to recommend, but I have seen some at some book stores that might be good. Even if you just have her do a tiny bit of the DVD, not the whole thing, it might be beneficial.

How about having her count to ten, taking deep breaths? Or doing a rag doll sort of exercise where she takes a deep breath in and brings her arms all the way up over her head and then slowly loosens up and hangs over from the waist like a rag doll.

[deb]

what about using lots of deep pressure?  make a Josie sandwich using couch cushions (bread, a few blankets or smaller cushions can be pickles or whatever she likes and then a cushion on top for more bread) and gently apply pressure through.  make certain her head stays out one side!  its pretty hard to resist this for many kids and its very relaxing usually.  you can get the same effect by having her lie in bed and tucking her in tightly and even adding cushions, books etc to add extra weight.

We've done this - it actually winds her up so much that we had to stop doing it past about 3PM or it kept her up half the night!!! She loves it and asks for more, don't get me wrong, but for her it's the sensory equivalent of a roller-coaster, lots of crazy fun she wants to do again and again!

We got the idea from The Out-Of-Sync Child Has Fun by Carol Stock Kranowitz, BTW, and we haven't QUITE found any others in there that work for this particular thing. Good activities for other stuff, though.

I personally find it very hard to relax but one good piece of advice I received from my osteopath is to make sure that your back teeth do not touch when your mouth is closed. Just to explain - pretend to look like an idiot with your jaw dropped and maybe even mouth open. OK, it doesn't have to be that eveident and you can in fact keep you mouth closed, but that is the idea. If your jaw is tense, you'll tend to have a headache, backache and a general sense of muscle-tension in your body. Would you be able to teach Josie to look like that?

I've tried doing something like that, but this is a girl who, when asked to smile, sticks her lower jaw out to show her teeth so all the photos we have of her either have this ridiculous tense grin or no smile at all. In other words, if we ask her to imitate us, she actually CREATES tension to do it! We're still trying, don't get me wrong - just haven't succeeded yet.

Would she enjoy (tolerate?) some yoga for kids DVDs? I don't know any to recommend, but I have seen some at some book stores that might be good. Even if you just have her do a tiny bit of the DVD, not the whole thing, it might be beneficial.

Hmm, that might be good; haven't tried that yet! Maybe the body awareness could transfer to relaxation of one part at a time..... must investigate that!

Thanks ladies!

[maggieruth]

Deb,
how is it going?  any luck with the yoga?  i would love to know if it would work with some of the kids i see!

[Nikki~Nathanamp;Danielle]

How about some sort of guided meditation - kid style? Maybe talk about a rainbow and what things there are in her day that are the colour of a rainbow (preferably relaxing type stuff!). How about drawing or doing some doodling or mindlessly kneeding playdough? I realise you're probably wanting total body relaxation, and suppose these are more mind calming/zoning out...?? Maybe you need to look to yourself...What sort of things do you as a tense adult find relaxing? Do you find lying down relaxing yourself? Or more of a fidgety type thing? Gardening, folding washing (I know she enjoys that, does that relax her even though she's still busy?).