So desperate for help - LO waking every 45 minutes, all night long!!

[Silas Mum]

Please, please, please ... can someone help us??!!  LO is 3 months & 3 weeks and is on 3 hour easy.  He takes 6-7oz. of formula at every feeding (starting @ 700am) and his last feed is at 700pm with a DF of 3 oz. at 1030pm.  His naps are only 45 minutes and we are working on W2S to extend them.   Sometimes I am able to get him to nap an additional 20 minutes if I really work at it. 

Before we moved last week he would sleep from 745pm - 430am without waking, maybe just a stir or two and we'd go back in and give him a soother.  I posted a few weeks ago asking how to get him to sleep from 430-700am without having to go into his room to calm him every 30 minutes.  The first night we moved in, was the night from hell, he woke every 45 minutes and then slept from 500am-700am solid.  The next night it was like old times ... waking at 430am.  The last two nights though, he wakes 45 minutes after we settle him, every time!  My DH and I were just losing it last night and we are BEYOND frusturated.  We've tried not rushing in and letting him fuss, but after 5 minutes it turns to full out screaming.  Every time we went in to calm him, we didn't pick him up, just changed his position (back to side or vice versa) and patted him and he'd fall back asleep right away.  He is swaddled still, but last night we tried the one arm swaddle since we noticed he is really sucking his thumb/fist.  Does anyone have any suggestions?!  Even if you've never tried something, but have heard about it, please let me know ... we are desperate to try anything!  Thanks!

Very tired,
Allison  =)

[Colin Macs Mom]

  Allison!

Are you and/or DH feeling stressed or frustrated due to the move? LO might be picking up on that. They are so sensitive to our feelings. Between that and his change in environment he might be out of sorts.

Also, being that he's almost 4 months I wonder if it's time to move to 4 hour EASY.

[Silas Mum]

Good point about the stress ... it might be, but both DH & I are fairly bubbly people and laugh lots with DS, so I don't know. ??  It is possible, of course.  I might think that we aren't showing it, but he may still pick up on it.  I was also thinking of going to 4 hour EASY, but with DS's naps being so short still, and the fact that he gets overtired exactly at the 1hr 30 minute mark, evertime, I put that thought on the back burner.  Do you think we should do pu/pd?  I am confused about this, b/c whenever he stirs, we don't pick up, just pat and change position and he falls asleep again, pretty much right away, for 45 minutes.  Do you think the night wakings will go away if we do nothing?  I'm thinking that we have to get the naps fixed first.  ?? 

[Lucysmom]

Hi there - Wow things sound really rough right now to say the least....      I agree that he may be having trouble because of the move and may be needing to go to the 4 hour EASY.  I remember this time with dd as very wonky in terms of her routine.  Not much fun.  Could you post what your routine looks like these days short naps and all?  Also, are you feeding him at all when he wakes at night?  And if yes, when?  Is he formula fed or breastfed?  It sounds like he could be overtired, or on the wrong routine (needing the 4 hour EASY), or in a growth spurt which messes everything up for a while!  Some more info might help figure it all out. 

In the meantime, HUGS to you and your dh.  I can't imagine how hard this must be for both of you. 

[Silas Mum]

Here's our routine :

E - 700amish (it varies between 700am-730am).  All feeds are formula and anywhere betweeen 6-7oz.
A - 1 hour & 30 minutes from start of feed
S - 45 minutes, always!  We used to be at 30 minutes, but W2S helped get the naps to 45 minutes.  I can sometimes get an extra 20 minutes, but it takes some good luck and the soother to get it.  If he stays awake, I will let him coo in his crib until he cries and then I put him in the bouncy chair with the vibrator on and keep everything low ley and with no stimulation.  Often I'll put the chair on my bed and rock it with my foot as to not make eye contact with him.  I sometimes will snooze for 10 minutes, as he'll sometimes fall asleep. 

E - 1000am
A - same as above
S - 45 minutes

E - 100pm
A - same as above
S - same as above

E - 400pm
A - same as above
S - same as above

E - 700pm
A - same as above
S - same as above

DF of 3-4oz. at 1030pm

No feeding again until 700amish.  He is forsure not hungry at night, b/c I tried giving him some formula at 500am out of desperation and he clearly rejected the bottle three times in a row.  We also notice that he clearly rejects the soother alot, which is a good thing, I think!  I guess he's found his hand now, so that better.  We've started to give him a soft little toy, which he clutches lots.  I think he likes to have it touch his face, even though he probably doesn't know what it is. 

As for the 4 hour EASY ... if he's not taking proper naps, would it be too hard to go to 4 hour EASY ... would he not just freak out from being so over tired?

Thanks!

[Lucysmom]

Hi again -

So just to clarify with your routine. Here is what your first EASY cycle looks like, right?

7 wake and feed
8:30-9:15 nap
10 feed

So right before his second feed he is up 45 minutes, right?  What time do you put him down next?  I know you said 1.5 hours from start of feed so does that mean that he is up the 45 minutes before 10 PLUS the 1.5 hours after the 10 feed?  Or do you count the 45 minutes he was up before it was time to feed? 

Have to go...Lucy is overtired and not going to sleep so I have to help her go down. 

[Silas Mum]

Hi -- amazing what a 2 hour nap can do for a mummy!  DH let me sleep and did I ever have a deep sleep!  Wow! 
Anyway ... when I got up, DH said he was crusing the 2nd BW book and he really thinks that we should be doing the 4 hour EASY.  LO was really struggling with his feeds today and come to think of it, yesterday as well.  He was supposed to eat at 715pm tonight and he totally refused the bottle.  He's only been taking 5 ounces and then an hour later we give him the additional 2 ounces.  It's now 819pm and he is playing so happily on his gymini mat. 

OK, to clarify his routine ...

E - 700am
S - 830am - 915am
E - 1000am

So, when he is up from 915am - 1000am, we try to put him back to sleep and if he won't go down for another short nap of 10 minutes or so, we put him the bouncy chair and pray that the vibrator on the chair will put him to sleep.  We don't play with him at all, b/c it's supposed to be sleep time.  After the 1000am feed he's up until 1130am.  This afternoon, while I was sleeping, DH said LO fell asleep while eating at 415pm, so he let him sleep and LO slept for 20 minutes and then was up for quite awhile.  No, we don't count the 45 minutes he was up before it was time to feed, as LO shows no signs of being tired.  When he's tired he freaks out and rubs his eyes, etc...  It's now 1030pm and LO took his entire bottle of 7oz. at one sitting at 820pm ... so that's a 4 hour stretch he went.  I gave him his bath and sand quietly to him and put him in the one arm swaddle.  I was then on the phone with my Dad & Mum as soon as I walked out of his room ... 44 minutes and 56 seconds (according to the telephone) later, he was crying.  I turned him back to his side and he fell asleep immediately.  I then called my Mum back and she thinks that since he now can roll over, he is waking up out of frusturation b/c he just wants to change position ... since all we have to do to settle him is change positions and sometimes pat him or put the soother in.  So I went back in and just swaddled his body & feet.  I'm desperate to try anything, so we shall see if this works. 

Sorry this is sooo long winded ... it's hard to condense all these happenings that are stressing us out!
Thanks for all your advice ... it is greatly appreciated!
Allison  =)
 

[Colin Macs Mom]

It does sound like your problem could very well be developmental. Rolling over can be a big one! Make sure that he's getting tons of time to practice during the day!