Multiple night waking with need for paci

[arial]

Hi everyone.  I really need help since I am going back to work in 2 weeks or so.  My LO is 12 weeks-old (by weeks) but 2 1/2 months(by calendar).  He has been waking up at 3 to 3:30 AM every night and expect us to help him fall asleep each time.  He has been doing this for the past 3 weeks.  When this problem first started, I made the mistake of giving him the paci.  The paci has worked every time.  The only problem that my husband and I are having is that LO wakes up when the paci fells and expects us to help him again.  This occurs for the rest of the night - we have to get up every 20 to 45 minutes until his actual wake-up time at 6 AM (when he get his first feeding).  I know that the paci has become a prop, but I am not sure how to get rid of it if that is what I have to do.  My LO depends a lot on the paci.  When he wails or he is fussing a lot, the paci along with some rocking usually settles him down.  When he is tired but still wired, the paci makes him drowsy enough to fall asleep.  We have tried the pat and shush technique insted of the paci but it has not help us at all.  WHAT DO I DO WITH THE PACIFIER?  I have also tried to eliminate his early waking at 3 AM with the wake up technique that Tracy recommends in the book, but the only time that I tried it, he woke up and I was unable to settle him down for a while.  I only made this attempt and since then, I have been scared of trying it again.  DOES ANYONE THINK I SHOULD TRY IT AGAIN?  I have also noticed that he is not longer able to give me a five block sleep like he used to (My LO started to sleep for 5 hours straight since he was a few days old even he was a poor nap taker)  DOES ANYONE KNOW WHY THIS COULD BE?   Let me give you a little background about his sleeping habits.

Since birth, he has been a poor nap taker (taking no naps to 10-20min naps in his 1 month of life)  but has always been a descent sleeper at night.  He started to sleep through the night (sleeping a block of 5 hours) since he was a few days old.  Since then, his sleeping pattern has changed.  He has become a better nap taker, although he still takes naps inconsistently (meaning that he does not have scheduled naps) - most of the time he naps after his feeding and activity and his naps may last from 30 minutes to 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours (most of his naps are 30 min top 45 min).  Since he is sleeping more in the daytime than before, DOES ANYONE THINK THAT HIS NAPPING IS ROBBING HIM FROM A GOOD NIGHT SLEEP?  I have tried to keep him up longer but it is hard since he gets tired after 1 to 1 1/2 hours of being awake.

This is my routine:

  6AM Waking, feeding
10AM Feeding
2PM Feeding
4:30PM feeding
6:30 to 7:00PM Feeding
10:20 PM Dream Feeding

My LO usually sleeps after being awake for 1 to 1 1/2 hours awake from his last nap.  If his nap is too short and is not his next feeding time, we tried to either put him back to sleep or play with him and go for another nap until his next meal.  My LO has problems falling asleep on his own and he has never been able to do so even though we tried to teach him that since he was born.  We usually have to calm him down or help him get drowsy with the paci.  I usually have to hold him, with his paci in his mouth, for a few minutes before I can put him down for a nap.  He usually wakes up after he hits the crib, but we use the shush pat technique along with the paci for him to fall back to sleep.  The shuh pat sometimes works, and when it doesn't and he is crying a lot.  We have to pick him up and try to calm with the paci and some rocking.  Once he is calm, we start the process all over again. 

His bedtime routine consist of bath and feeding.  My LO usually is very tired and cranky by 6PM.  He usually falls asleep eating.  Lately, since he is more social and aware of his surroundings, he has been waking up after the meal and remains awake until about 7:30PM when he falls asleep with me holding him and soothing him with a paci.  We have been putting him when he is in his light sleep.  I stay with him for 10 to 20 minutes to make sure that he stays asleep.  If he wakes up during that time, I shush pat or put back the paci if it falls.  If I am not there to help him, once he wakes up - he starts wailing. 
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS ABOUT TEACHING HIM TO FALL ASLEEP ON HIS OWN WITHOUT THE NEED FOR PROPS?  In the past, he used to be in deep sleep by the time he hit the crib.  I was having to hold him upright for 20 minutes before he was put to bed since the doctor recommended this position for his GERD.  I still hold him upright for 20 minutes, but the difference is that he is awake when I do so.

Anyway, I still have a lot of questions, but I think this is a good start.  I appreciate any suggestions since my husband and I are really tired.

Thanks again,

Ileana

[estherofi20]

Hello Ileana,

Ok... hmmm... i would recommend you put him awake in the crib, 'cause otherwise its just like if you go to sleep in your bed, and suddenly you wake up and appear in the middle of the garden, that would be pretty odd uhh?, but i know this is hard, but teaching independant sleep is the best gift you can give tou your child, so just remmember that the younger the LO is, the faster it will be to get rid of a bad habbit, hang in there. To help you with the paci addiction, there is the gentle removal plan, here is the link: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=2361.0

and you could tri elevating the crib's matress with a book or a rolled towelso he isn't lying on his back flat, since your doc recommended that you keep him elevated.

i hope this helps

[arial]

Hi Estherrofi 20:

Thanks for your reply.  It gives me a sense of hope.  I was afraid no one would reply to my questions. 

I am currently trying to teach him to fall asleep on his own.  Just a few minutes ago, he was crying and I picked him up and held him for a couple of minutes.  He had closed his eyes and started to make movements with his mouth as wanting his paci.  I did not give it to him and he remained quiet with his eyes closed until I put him in bed.  He started crying as soon as I laid him down and the crying got progressively worse.  I tried the shush/pat without help.  I picked him up again because he was wailing.  I tried walking, bouncing but he didn't calm down until I gave him the paci.  As soon as I gave him the paci, he calmed down.  I put him in bed after a couple of minutes and he has remained sleeping with his paci in mouth. Am I doing this right?  For whatever reason, aside from the fact that I got to get rid of the paci, I still think that I am doing something wrong in my current technique to put him in bed.

Also, we do elevate the bed with books.  He still vomits even one hour after being in bed sleeping or lying down.

I will read your suggestion about paci weaning and try it.  When is the best time to start weaning him of the paci since I am still trying to work out so many sleeping issues with him?  Would he be overwhelmed by so many changes?

Thanks again,

Ileana

[estherofi20]

Ileana, just a question, how much on average daytime sleep does he get?

I think that, what you were doing of trying to calm him down without the paci, is like going cold turkey for him rigth now, so the best plan would be to go slowly with the gentle removal plan. Again, this is a slow process, so i think you can start anytime now really, but i guess it depends up to you, but that is just MHO.

[arial]

Hello Estherofi20:

I believe he sleeps between 4-5 hours in the daytime, although this is inconsistent since he does not have scheduled naps.  I am happy whenever he gets a nap even if it is short and is here and there.  Like yesterday, I thought he had a poor nap day since he had naps as short at 20 minutes.  Most of his naps yesterday were between 30 minutes to 45 minutes.  His longest nap was the one he took after his first meal of the day: lasted 1 hour.

I was thinking about eliminating the paci cold turkey until I read your suggestion.  I really have not started to wean him off the paci.  Yesterday, I was just trying to see if there was any other way to soothe him besides the paci.

Thanks for your help,

Ileana

[estherofi20]

well, 4 to 5 hr of nap time at that age is pretty much average... i hope you can wean the paci without much troubles!!!! good luck!!!!

as i was re-reading your post, i just wanted to let you know, that the pat-shush is a slow process too, when my DS was from 4WO till 9WO he needed from 45min to an hr of pat-shushing, just to get him to settle, and then at 9WO his need  decreased, and suddenly at 12WO he stopped needing it completely, to the point i can now leave him in his crib and leave the room, but it did take a very tiring few weeks of sleep training, so please don't get discouraged, it will work if you are consistent!!!!!!

... and hey, your welcome, we help each other any way we can!!!!