Working moms/mums - come and share tips and support!

[M2L]

I skimmed through the posts and it is nice to read about other moms who are feeling the same way about having to go back to work and trying to breastfeed at the same time.

I had asked to be off until September, until DD was 18 months old, but two weeks before my year's maternity leave (Canada) was over, my boss called me and told me to come back.    Well, you can imagine the problems that created with child care, etc. as I didn't have anything set up!  Anyway, I requested a three day work week with one day working from the house and they agreed, thankfully, or I really don't know what I would have done.  My mother looks after DD for the other two days while I am at the office.

I breastfeed two or three times a day, depending on whether I am at home or not, of course.  DD is a boob-lover, I don't know if she would ever wean on her own. LOL

[Anita S.]

We've been at work from about 10:45 to 2:00 for two weeks now. Last week was the worst...had me crying two days it was so rough! She was so needy and I think she also had a tummyache.....I accidentally had some dairy!!!

I'm trying to get the routine going, and now I am transitioning to a 4hr easy. I plan to rearrange the back room to get a quieter place for Claribel, but I have one problem. She gets so distracted that she can't eat well. I took a bottle Friday and she ate well when someone else gave it to her, but I'm not sure how easy it will be to get a bottle together every day! I'm hoping that the transition to a 4hr easy will improve her appetite. But I doubt it will improve her powers of concentration!

Thanks for the encouragement, I will try to keep it up. The manager, a mother of six, is my biggest cheerleader. She tries to keep me from getting discouraged, even on the really screamy days.....but she's also an advocate of CIO, and I'm decidedly NOT, so there are times when I have to tend to her and I get frustrated because it affects my to-do-list....Some mental rearranging still to be done!

-Anita

[daisymelan]

Hugs Anita.

[cookster9]

I was lucky enough to have maternity leave for one year and when I went back to work I pumped during my lunch break at home.  For those Moms who go back much sooner, you have my total respect for pumping at work.  It was hard enough to do at home once a day, so I cannot imagine trying to do it at work during breaks.  During those difficult days, try to remember you are giving your child a wonderful gift and your dedication is something you can be very proud of.

[malialeanne]

Hey all working moms outside the US--what are maternity leave options like for you?

Here in the US most employers are legally required to offer 12 weeks unpaid. After our next child (yes, we're planning ahead ) I would like to take at least a year off. If you take a year off, how does that work? Does your employer hire a temporary replacement?

Just thinking about options, and since I know many outside of the states are able to take a year or so, just wondering what the common practices are...

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Here's an interesting thread on the subject:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=61882.0

[debetha]

dd is 4 months, and on 4 hour EASY. I am working 2 mornings a week, leaving the house 7am, returning about 1.30pm. Soon to be 3 morning s a week. We are doing pretty well on 4 hour EASY, but it all seems to fall apart on the 2 consecutive days when i work - a combination of dd taking the bottle erratically, and routine sabotage by carers (mainly my MIL) - who will not try to resettle her for long enough when she wakes, and gives her a bottle whenever she fusses, whether it is feed time or not. So quite often she is getting a bottle at 2.5 hours post feed, taking only a couple of ounces, then sleeping less, then another small feed. When i walk through the door she then wants to feed again, a variable amount, and the routine is all out of the window. I guess we will try getting her to take more, which is difficult as she seems to be waking overnight later and later, with a knock-on effect with the 7am feed (which i have to do at 6.45 on the days I work), and downward spiral from there.
Has anyone else had similar difficulty maintaining EASY when at work?
Cheers
deb

[malialeanne]

Hugs Deb. It's hard enough being at work without knowing that your routine is going haywire at home.

If anything a routine is MORE important for working moms, to provide consistency for your lo when she has multiple caretakers. Perhaps you could appeal to your MIL and let her know that you really appreciate knowing what DD's doing at any given time when you're away, and knowing what to expect when you walk in the door.

Maybe you could agree on a time limit for resettling--your MIL will try to resettle for up to 20 minutes, and if that doesn't work she'll keep dd in her room doing quiet activity like reading books for another 20 minutes. That brings you almost up to your next feed time. Have her stay in the room a couple of times with you when you resettle so she sees how it's done and that it does work (she probably has doubts and gives up after a minute or two if she does try.)

I pretty much laid down the law with my nanny. Of course, it's easier because I'm paying her. I said dd is going to eat within these time frames and not at other times, so it's either extend the nap or entertain her until the next feed. It's easy to see which is the more appealing option.

Fortunately naps will probably extend on their own and things will get a whole lot more consistent soon, but you need to "retrain" your MIL so that she doesn't see every fuss or cry as hunger and do the ounce or two here, ounce or two there thing.

More hugs! We have great success staying on EASY (like I said, strict with the nanny) and it has made things a WHOLE lot easier for everyone.

Malia

[debetha]

Thanks! will give it a try. I start with a nanny in June, but MIL will babysit 1-2 times per week for a couple of hours. Hopefully the nights will also sort themselves out so that she at least takes a decent feed first thing, as otherwise it seems to have a knock on effect, making it hard for everyone
deb
PS your bub is CUTE!!

[malialeanne]

Thanks!

With MIL or other family I realize it's tough to be so bossy sometimes. You could pick one issue, either naps or feeds, and say that you're willing to compromise on the other. I.e. "I'm willing to relax a bit on the feeding schedule, but I really ask that you respect my wishes and do your best to extend naps", or the other way around. It's kind of sneaky because it looks like you're bending a little but in reality you're still getting what you want with her routine.

[Anita S.]

The biggest part of back-to-work for me has been the loyal support of my coworkers, friends, and clientele. It's hard for me to get used to a baby screaming in my workplace, even though it's MY baby and MY shop!

The hard part has been:
1. Getting out of the huose every day with (almost) everything I need/intend to bring.
2. Spending all day juggling being the designer, owner, accounts payable, AND head Mommy.
3. Getting home AFTER dh, preparing dinner for us all, bfing dd, preparing bath for dd, bedtime, then dinner with dh, occasionally I do the dishes, too. Sometimes I get a little help, but only when I'm specific (Please keep an eye on the skillet and flip things, OK?....only to find he heard "Turn off the skillet and let it go cold while I tend to our daughter.")

But when it's all said and done, I get my shower and get into a bed with clean sheets (also my job), and feel like Wonder Woman!

-Anita

[rayray]

can i join?

i am from ireland, dd is 7 months and back at work for 3 months. exclusively breastfed her till 6months and now she has started solids but only takes one teaspoon a day

i am 22 and a single mum, i am finding bfing tough going and am considering weaning...just to get some me time back. she is a terrible sleeper too and i am so tired.

scared if i wean i will regret it

[malialeanne]

Hi there rayray. Wow, you have my admiration as a single, working, bfing mum!!!!! Congrats on making it 7 months bfing!

I've also had moments where I think bf is just too tough. However a lot of the fab women on this board have reminded me that quitting bf doesn't make tough parenting stuff go away, you might be just trading current problems for new ones. You still need to feed your baby, so you'll be dealing with buying, mixing, storing formula, cleaning and sterilizing bottles, and if your baby has sensitivities it might take awhile to find the right formula, etc. You may not end up with any more time for yourself.

No matter what, you've made it 7 months which is something to be really proud of. We'll be here to support you whatever you decide!

[rayray]

oh what a lovely thing to say, thank you. i think my main reason for wanting to wean, is so she could stay with my mum one night and i could get some sleep. i get about 4-5 hours broken sleep a night. i think at this stage i have given her a great start and just dropping the day feeds, would be the sane as introducing any food at this stage right? however i have heard that some woman's supply can drop quickly if they drop the day feeds, anyone know if this is true?

[bethann]

Working and breastfeeding is definately a challenge.  I was able to do it until dd was 9 months (I became pregnant again).  If you feel like you're not quite ready to give it up I would suggest posting this question on the main breastfeeding board, so you can get all the support you'll need!  Also- do you work with any of the EASY routine?  I used the dreamfeed and sleep training and dd was a great night sleeper!  It may take a little time, but it would be worth it for you to get your sleep!  And yes, dropping day feeds will cause a dip in supply.  Let us know how you get on!