Working moms/mums - come and share tips and support!

[Anita S.]

I have found that "partial" weaning is working out for us right now. I bf in the am, pump what's leftover, feed her some solids for breakfast, she gets bottles of formula for 11 and 3, another solid feed for 6pm dinner, then I feed a bottle of ebm and some bf for bedtime, then the 11pm feed is all bf. It was easier for me emotionally to do this in stages.

As for our routine, I find that the two days her routine is in the hands of a caregiver, she's a little off, but not so bad that when dh gets her on Saturday, he can get her back on track pretty easily. And then there are four days where I have more control, and things "normalize". Most important for me in this process is to remember that overall, the months I have spent setting up the routine have given her a sense of stability, and I can see that in her happy face, no matter now long/short her naps are. And there will always be off days, no matter how perfectly someone else tries to follow a plan.

I had to learn how to relax about it all and realize that most of us were never on that kind of schedule, and we turned out alright...It's a coping machanism for US (big people) now, and just use it to your benefit, don't stress over the inconsistencies, because there will ALWAYS be inconsistencies!!!

Since Claribel is now 6mos old, and beginning to roll everywhere, crawling isn't too far behind, she doesn't make it to work with me much. It's just not fun for her. So there's a sitter on Thurs and Fri, and dh on Saturday. Then I mostly spend my days with her the first four days of the week. It's a real luxury for me to be able to spend this time with her.

Embrace the pleasures of the day, ladies, and don't forget: They will grow up FAST, and little details like naps and bfing will be a thing of the past!

-Anita

[marcimommy]

Hey ladies! Can I join in???
I'm 27 and DS is 16 weeks old. I am back working from 8:30 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. every weekday. It is very hard but we have managed with pumping twice a day so far. My boss is very supportive, his wife works for WIC (that's a government infant nutrition program here in the US). DS is on a 4hrs routine already. He naps great and sleeps throught the night with one df at 11:00 p.m. DH is off for the summer and stays home with DS. He is great about the routine and actually he taught DS to go to sleep on his own. Sometimes we still have some crying but most of the times he goes down just like an angel. Can you tell I am blessed!!??
I plan to bf for the first year. What is your goal?

rayray - wow, you have my whole respect. I couldn't do it alone for 7 months. I am not against weaning at all, but I don't think that formula feeding will solve your time problems. Try to keep your LO on a 4 hour schedule and try some sleep training like PU/PD. Also you can try introducing solids. I hope things will get better for you soon. I know how important a good night sleep is for the both of you. 

[Anita S.]

My original goal was to bf for a YEAR. Claribel may have other plans. She was refusing the breast for a few weeks. I kept offering, got bit a few times (still do, a little), but just kept trying. She's not as resistant now, but we're on the wening rod, anyhow.

This girl LOVES solids, and at almost 7 mos, she's finally beginning to sleep through with some regularity. I agree that it's not the formula or the solids doing it, it's just a stage of development that (THANK GOODNESS) they all seem to reach sooner or later.

ESPECIALLY if they can fall asleep on their own! Congratulations on that Marcello!

And, IMO, time was a BIG reason I switched to formula for a couple of feeds per day. It helped me a LOT. I was able to get away from the pump and onto other tasks. I totally understand wanting to exclusively breast feed, but in the scheme of things, a well-adjusted Mom who has achieved a sense of balance is better for a baby than just breastmilk. If you think that will help, there's no reason you can't try it out for a couple of days with no ill effects. Change back if it doesn't work for you. But just keep looking for balance, because there are bigger fish to fry. Besides, as I have quoted my SIL before, "Formula isn't rat poison, you know."

-Anita

[Elvira]

I would think that ideally, at least the first three months should be available to any woman with a small baby, preferably the first four.  I had three months, and after that I could take on hour off for nursing.  My baby only needed one bottle in between, so expressing was not a hugue issue, that was for her lunch.  Because our working hours in Spain have a 2 hour interval for lunch and it was possible for me to rush home for lunch at 14.00, I had a bit more than an hour with her and nursed her at the end of the period.  Her lunch was then 12.00.   When she started taking solids (she loved them), at 6 months, I substituted that bottle by a cereal even though that was not what they had told me to do (first breakfast, they said, I think it does not really matter). Then I substituted afternoon meal, as sometimes it was stressful to get there on time, and when I started breakfast I substituted cereal for pureed protein together with carrots, potatoes or rice, and a green veggie (one at a time, if there,s an allergy you can detect it).

I was the only working mom in my building (eight of us had had children at the same time more or less, and all were girls) and the only one nursing.  So I did not really feel like a "bad mother", just took it easy.  I think the unspoken message I put across to my daughter was more or less : yes, you can have it all.  No need to sacrifice yourself, no need to sacrifice your children, it is compatible.

It was compatible for thousands of years, when women worked in the fields with their nursing baby nearby, or at home (do not forget, spinning and weaving were the textile industry, preserving food the food industry, etc).  Only industrialization changed that and generated a difficult challenge for us women.   Adapting to the situation, being flexible, was the key for me.  It is true that I also felt some relief in getting back my own personal life, and that made me stronger to cope with tantrums, bad nights, etc.  But I only felt that when my dd was about a year, certainly not before when it was hard for me to leave her every morning. 

Good luck to all of you, it will get easier, believe me.

[CDKs Mom]

   I'm new to the boards and so undecided.  I return to work next week.  Unfortunately, I was able to be on maternity leave for 6 short weeks.  I have been bfing and doing well.  The only problem is that I have a hard pumping.  I'm only getting about 1 oz per pumping session.     Should I think about supplementing with formula.  It will be very difficult to pump at work.  There's really no private areas to be able to do it. 

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

NOt everyone is able to get much while pumping.  It sounds like you're not getting a letdown when you pump....  What sort of pump is it and what time of day do you pump?  Have you checked out the FAQ?
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63603.0

It is often possible to combine nursing and formula, if you decide to go that route.  It can be hard to maintain your supply, but possible - things like continuing to nurse overnight (stimulates certain hormones that help milk production), nursing on weekends, holidays and when you're home, as well as pumping (if you can) can help keep up your supply.  Even some breastmilk has a lot of benefits for your lo!

[CDKs Mom]

thanks for the help.  I checked the FAQ.  I'm pumping with the after the first feeding in the am and then again in the evening.  She's just starting to get on a good routine (about every 4 hours).  I am using a Medela pump.

[marcimommy]

I'm sorry to butt in, but if your LO is only 6 weeks old a 4 hour routine is not appropriate for her. You might have supply issues if you feed her only every 4 hours. I would change her routine to a 3 hour one. It is really hard to pump especially when there is no quiet, private place to do that. I am very lucky, because I have a nice office and can lock my door. I supplement my LO with formula during the day and BF in the mornings and evenings. I also pump though but mostly to keep up my supply. There is no problem to supplement with formula, it is made carefully for babies you know. Some people, especially lactation consultants like to make think it's "rat poison" and you will harm your baby, but it's not true. Of course breastmilk is the best, but the most important thing is to find a good balance and have a happy pieceful life. You baby will benefit the most if you are happy and well rested! 

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

I have to agree with marcimommy - 4 hrs between feeds is usually only once the babies are 4 months old - or even older - some bf babies don't get there for longer.  At 6 weeks, there's also a growth spurt to expect, so it might be even more often than every 3 hrs.  If you're going that long between feeds, I'd definitely worry about maintaining your supply.    How has your lo's weight gain been, and number of wet and dirty diapers?

[CDKs Mom]

She's actually gained 2.5 lbs since leaving the hospital.  She has wet diapers just about every feeding and a bm 3-4 times in a 24 hour period.  They are typical.  So I haven't really been concerned about the 4 hour time frame.  I'll try to bf every 3 hours today.  From what i read in the FAQ, getting 1 oz pumping is pretty normal.  I'll keep that up and try pumping more times during the day until I start back to work.  I can still pump in the morning and the evening.

[MJMom]

hello ladies!  I'd love to join you!  I just started working on Monday and am finding out quickly that I am not pumping enough during the day to satisfy my LO!!!  Haven't looked at the rest of this thread but would like to.

I know formula isn't rat poison, but I react to it like it's a 4-letter word.  It was a forbidden word in my house... but LO had to have some Tues and probably today since I couldn't pump enough.   

Anyhow, would love to get more tips on keeping the pumping supply up!  I've had oatmeal every day this week for breakfast!!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Drink lots, and you'll probably find you have to pump one extra time for the feeds - so if it's 2 bottles, maybe pump 3 times if you can.  There's always fenugreek and blessed thistle to up supply too. Nurse on weekends and holidays when you can too - it builds supply more than pumping.

[marcimommy]

Hey MJMom - It's nice to see you on this thread too! 

OK I need help, I start to freak out! DS will start day care on 07/30. Now he's home with DH and that is truly a blessing for me. 
Ladies please give me advice on this. How can I help the transition? How much cooperation can I expect from the day care lady? (It's a nice licensed in home day care, she has an 8 month old girl a 9 month old girl and a 2 year old boy and my babe will be the youngest with almost 5 months) I have typed up 2 pages of intructions including his daily routine and wind down and feeding instructions etc. I also have prepared a log to track his sleep and feedings. Do you think it's OK to have her keep the log every day? I will meet with her again next week Wednesday and will try to go through the intructions. Give me advice how to deal with this. I know I'm a nut case but I am really freaking out! Tell me how it worked out for you, I'd love to know your success stories!!! THANKS A LOT!!!

[CDKs Mom]

Hi Marcimommy...  my daycare actually asked me for all of this information.  I guess that may not be the standard for all daycares.  They created a log that will show when she has feedings, when she is active and when she has wet and dirty diapers.  They also requested that I provide them her current schedule so they could keep her on track.

I guess the thing to remember is that you are paying for their care. I don't think it's too much to ask for this information.

[malialeanne]

Hi Marcimommy,

You have every right to expect the caretaker to keep the log for you. As a working mom myself, I expect and need to know how well/long dd has slept during the day, how much she has eaten and when, whether she's had a dirty diaper, etc.

As for how receptive she'll be and whether she'll help you stick to EASY--honestly, some people are more willing to do this type of thing than others. Hopefully you established a good rapport with her and she's amenable to a routine (not an anti-routine person as some are). If sticking to EASY and a routine are important to you, and she's not willing to do it, then it's not a good fit. Remember that although it seems overwhelming right now, you just take it one day at a time. If this person doesn't end up being a good fit, there ARE other options out there.

It's also good to keep in mind that she will be taking care of other kids, so you may not be able to expect her to keep to your routine exactly as you do, but as long as she does the best she can and is respectful of your wishes, you'll be able to navigate any small issues that crop up!