Question for extended bf Mums

[Katet]

I have nearly 8 weeks to work this out...
I have my 20 year school reunion in Sept (ouch i feel old) & I have never been out at night, before putting  Liam  to bed since he was born & bf is part of his bed routine.

I don't really know if I do or don't want to give up bf... I kind of think somedays I do & others I have the "he's my last baby & I will never be able to again) , but given I doubt I will stop bf by then I need to work on something so I can leave at 6pm to go to the reunion & Liam goes to bed by 7.30pm (7pm if he short naps). I did say to dh that I could go to the reunion late, but it starts at 6.30pm (cocktails) & we live about 45mins away, so I'd not get there until about 8pm & that would mean my friend from interstate would also be late.

Anyone had experience of not bf one night & how there lo settled? I don't want it to be hard for dh as he will have Aiden to consider too.
So

[deenz]

When I was pregnant with dd2 I decided that I needed to separate bf'ing from dd1's bedtime routine (in anticipation of being away from dd1 when I gave birth/was in hospital etc), so I gradually moved it 'backwards' in the routine.  So it started out being dinner, play, bath, story, bf, bed, then became dinner, play, bath, bf, story, bed etc  etc until bf'ing was after dinner, and before the bath.  I didn't need to add anything in to the routine either (eg. snack before bed) which was great.

Maybe something for you to think about, since you probably don't want to (sounds like) give up bf'ing... and 8wks would be long enough to work on this...

Sorry, no experience with not bf'ing just for one night.  But I'm imagining it depends very much on your ds's personality.  Since you're not going to be there, he might just forget about it??

[jbepko]

Once my LO's were past the every 2 hours feeding stage, I removed BF from bedtime routine also. That allowed DH to be more active in bedtime. Our routine is- nurse when I get home, short activity, meds, story, bedtime. I would keep BF....just follow PP's idea of separating the two. You can keep your special bond iwth LO and also have some freedom for yourself...plus LO can learn to fall asleep more independently--- everyone is a winner!

[Carter'sMama]

Hi there!

I had a conference one night when DS was 13 months old.  I had never not been there for bedtime before so I was extremely worried about what would happen!  At the time I was down to 2 feeds a day (bed and wake-up) and Carter was taking sippy's of soy milk during the day.

I guess Carter didn't even notice I was gone    He took the sippy of milk with no problem and promtly went right to sleep.  I had been working on incorporating stories and cuddle time between the last feed and bedtime so DS wouldn't expect the boob before bed and I guess it worked (a little too well!)  I was very sad but it was the beginning of the end of the nighttime feed for us.  We kept up the morning feed for awhile longer though!

You could try a run through and see what happens.  I find that our DH's seem to do much better when we are out of the equation (unreachable) because then they are forced to cope with whatever situation arises!  Does your lo take a bottle or a sippy?  Does he drink regular milk or would you have to use pumped milk?

You might be surprised at how well he does (not like that is what you want to hear ... I always like to think Carter "needs" me to do anything  ) and just think of the possible freedom that it will allow you!

Keep us posted on what you decide! 

[Katet]

We do bf, go out & say good night to Aiden & dh & then go back & read stories for 5-10mins, so it isn't the last thing we do & he doesn't fall alseep feeding (except on those days he has a really short nap & overtired)

 I doubt I could get Liam to bf say before a bath, as since he was 5mo he has only willingly bf in his room in the quiet & he is calm. If I was to try to do it before the bath, it would often be before dh gets home & i would have Aiden looking for my attention & this distracting & Liam wouldn't be calm at that time either... I only manage it when I do bedtime on my own because Aiden is used to watching a DVD with his Dad after his bath & he knows that routine so never (anymore) comes looking for me.

I think I will just get dh doing the stories & settle  more often from now on & on the night I go out just not feed & hope my boob (he only feeds one side) doesn't get too sore & as I threw out my breast pump, pumping isn't an option.

He takes a little milk from a sippy (never really had a bottle), but as Aiden had cows milk intolerance, I am only offering a very small amount at the moment.

I think given his nature, he will probably be fine with dh doing the stories etc if it is something he has got used to in the next 8 weeks.

 

just think of the possible freedom that it will allow you!

Funnily with Liam being my last bub, extra freedom is not something I care about (at the moment)... I don't want them to grow up

[Lilah'sMommy]

Funny, the first time I wasn't there for dd's bedtime was for my high school reunion, too!  I just left a sippy of milk and dh went about the rouitne as usual-- bath, reading, etc.  Lilah got to drink her milk while she read a book.  Honestly, she didn't even miss me, and went right to sleep.  I'm betting Liam will do the same.  At tjis stage, they know that breastmilk only comes with mama.

As per the boob problem-- can you hand express at all?  That could be an option if you get too engorged.

[Katet]

Thought I'd update you all... it was my reunion last night & even though it was the first time dh had put Liam to bed, it wasn't actually the first without an evening bf, he seems to miss 1-2/week ... self weaning  I think.
Anyway dh did the routine, offering without bf & then he pretty much went off with minimal fuss... needed 2 extra cuddles, (ie return & give cuddle) but that often happens to me... so it is true, they do appreciate the difference between Mummy & Daddy at 15mo

Oh & the reunion was pretty good... amazed at how many preg ladies there given we are all 37/38yo

[clh]

Glad Liam took it well & that you had a good time.  {{{Hugs}}} about the self-weaning.  I'm not looking forward to that, either.   

[deenz]

Glad all went well Kate!

I will be home late (about half an hour past dd2's bed time) in a couple of weeks (day before her birthday)... so I too will be interested to see what she will do at bedtime...  worst case scenario is that she goes to bed late.  If she does go to sleep ok without bf, I figure I will feed her a bit later (as she will already have missed the lunchtime feed for the first time that day).