Feeding themselves

[*Natasha*]

Just wondering when they should start feeding themselves with a spoon and holding their own cup? My DD feeds herself her snacks and sandwich but not using a spoon and can hold her own cup but prefers i hold it for her. When should i start engouraging her to do these on her own?

[Lana]

Ewan still has problems with a spoon/fork sometimes .  Really at her age I was just offering the ustensil and he would mostly play with it.  Eventually they will try to do it on their own and the range is pretty huge as to when they do (just like everything).  It sounds to me like she is doing great.

[*Nicola*]

At that age Ciara was eating most things by herself but mainly with her hands!  We kept fork/spoon nearby and she did try to use it but it was much easier and quicker for her to use her hands as shovels!  Like Lana says, Ciara used the spoon to dig around with at this age!

They do pick things up in their own time.  If she eats at the table with your family then she will definately pick up the 'nice' way of eating 

For what its worth ... Ciara is 3 now and uses her fork/spoon brilliantly.  She is also attempting the knife (which is very amusing) but tonnes of times she still digs in with her fingers! 

[Nikki~Nathanamp;Danielle]

I often offer my 16mth old a spoon but she doesn't use it unless I load it up first (but I'm usually eating my food too  ) - she prefers to grab handfuls of food instead - even mushy stuff. She will do her own cup though and has done for a long time (I'm assuming you mean a sippy? or do you mean open cup - dd will use one but that doesn't mean that it doesn't get a vigorous toss sideways, so I don't really bother with that option often). Strangely (or maybe not), but ds used a spoon pretty proficiently by 14mths, but still prefers to eat with his hands some days or certain foods - but is pretty adept at using a fork/spoon as well.

[Lilah'sMommy]

There's a pretty big range on this, it seems to me.  From the time Lilah was 14 months old, she refused to let me feed her and would grab the sppon out of my hand.  She was pretty messy, but she did it!  She is still pretty messy with messy foods like yogurt, and often uses her hands even now.  I joked to DH that the picture of her eating cake at her 2nd birthday is not going to look much different from the first birthday picture-- she's still going to be eating with her hands and have frosting in her hair!  On the other hand, I have a friend whose son never even attempted to feed himself with a spoon until his parents encouraged him to do so at 20 months-- he would even let his parents put finger food in his mouth if they were willing to do so.  They encouraged him by just leaving the spoon for him, putting it in his hands, filling it-- and he quickly go tit and was eating like a pro.  I think I've read that if by 20 months your toddler isn't yet attempting to feed himself, you should more strongly encourage him/her to do so.  I have been giving Lilah and extra spoon almost since we started solids-- she'd grab the spoon even then.  That could be why she was so adamant about self-feeding so early on.  But it could also be that she would have tried to take over early anyway.

[mari]

Alex (18 mo) has a fork, but rarely uses it, I never feed her though.  I childmind an 11 month old who eats exactly the same as Alex and he too has a fork/spoon.  He rarely uses it but refuses to be spoonfed.  I say let them get on with it, they'll soon get the hang. 
On the cup issue, try not to do it for them as (in my case with my kids) they can get lazy.