45 minute naps I cant take much more!!

[GKirk]

Hi.. my 3.5mo is on a 3.5hour easy..

E 730
A
S 830 - 845 to 1030

E 1100
A
S 130 to 230

E 230
A
S 345 to 430

Bath 545
EAT 600
Bed

Ok so my little guy has been doing 45 minute naps since about 2 months!! The only good nap that i can get him to take is in the AM we play for about 60 minutes then hes ready for bed again.. he sleeps about 2 - 2.5 hours (not without me giving him his paci every 45 minutes though)

Usually I do my errands after his 11am feeding and he is so curious that he refuses to sleep in his car sear anymore because he wants tolook at everything!! So I usually time it right that i can be home for him to get in a 45 minute nap before he eats...

If I dont have any errands to do, he usually will end up taking 2 naps between 11am and 230pm.. this is because he can only last about 1 hour of Activity time and so he will go down and take a 45 minute nap, I almost always unsuccessfully try to get him to sleep longer but it never works! So then he will wake up and want to play for 45/60 minutes.. and by the time he is done playing, he will take ANOTHER 45 minute nap and wake up around 230 ready to eat. If confusing i am sorry!!

Then he will take 1 more nap around 345ish for ANOTHER 45 minutes!! These naps are killing me!! 

So.. WHEN ARE THE 45 MINUTE NAPS GOING AWAY?!
I don't know if the 2 naps between 11 and 230 is a good thing or a bad thing, because i dont want him to get used to it!
Any body have any suggestions/tips/ideas?!
Thanks and sorry this is so long!!

[Mom to M&M]

At 3.5 months you may want to start moving toward at 4 hour Easy - maybe doing 3.5 hours for now. But in any case, you should have some A time extensions to help get some longer naps.

If he's waking at 7:30 am, I'd delay first nap until 9. Then second nap would start 1.5-1.75 hours from end of first nap and so on from there. If he's sleeping a lot overnight and then 2.5 hours in the morning, he's only going to need short naps the rest of the day as he's piling in all his sleep overnight and early morning.

So I'd do first nap from 9-10:30, second nap from 12:15-2 and then catnap from 4-4:45, with bedtime at 7:30.

HTH

[GKirk]

I definitely think he could handle a 4 hour easy eating.. but the A time is what is killing me! He cant last ay longer than an hour its like someone flips a switch and he is instantly cranky.. if i make him wait he just cries and fusses until i put him down for a nap.. he is almost 4 months and i am hoping that maybe he can start solids soon.. and then maybe that might help us? That is the only reason that im waiting on the 4 hour routine

Also I forgot to mention, he does get up in the middle of the night i only posted his daytime routine
He has a 1030 DF which he will only take 1/2 a normal feed and then he wakes anywhere from 3am -5am for another feed..
What I also dont understand about that is why is there such a range for the middle of the night feedings? Is that normal? I thought he may have been waking out of habit but he wont take his paci some nights he just really wants to eat at 3am and others he will sleep right until 430 or 5??

[Mom to M&M]

Part of the reason he likely can't handle longer A times is because of the short naps - it's a viscious cycle - he can't stay up long because he isn't rested enough yet because he didn't stay up long he only needs a short nap, KWIM?

You'll need to try to extend the A times very slowly - you can even do 5 minutes every 3 days if that's all you think he can handle. Keep it low key - go for a walk, read a book, etc.

I personally don't recommend starting solids at all this early - and don't think it would help with your nap/awake time issue.

Yes, the range for the night feeds is normal and usually signifies hunger - habitual waking would be at the same time. He's quite young - my DD had a night feed until 4.5 months and many do for longer than that.

[GKirk]

Surprisingly enough he has slept through the night for the past 3 days! Well i shouldnt say actually slept.. he does wake up, but he doesnt cry for food he is just fussing and wants his pacifier around 3.. 4.. and 5! I dont want to feed him now because he isnt really crying but do you think it willget better over time or should i try to take his paci away already.. he doesnt really use it during the day just at nighttime and naptime.. he is also teething which is making him spit it out more i think that is why he is waking up so much (he wants to suck on it but it hurts so he chews on it and ends up spittingit out!!)


I have also worked on his A times he is up from 730 to 845 now and then in the afternoon from 230 to 400.. like i said he doesnt take much of a nap in the middle because we usually go out at that time..

Although i was reading another post from someone and they said that at 4 months old i should start switiching to 2 naps per day.. (i let my friend borrow my bw book so i dont have it to check onn!) Also, they said that if the first nap of the day is too long it will put things off! And my ds takes a 2 or 2.5 hour nap for his first nap.. i dont know i guess i am confused!

[bear]

I had the same problem and then read Tracy's sleep interview, she said something about extending awake time past their cues in 15min (you can try 5-10 min) increments at right around your baby's age. She said it's the only time she recommends watching the clock more then your baby. I have had success with it. I had all 45min naps and now I have 2 morning nap of about 1&1/2 hours back.
For me it worked the very first day of extending his A-time, but I am sure that isn't always the case since it's a delicate balance between keeping them more to process so that they need sleep and making them overtired. Now my little one has also found his thumb, so he uses that to fall back asleep during the day now too. It doesn't work for the 3rd nap since he is already to tired from the day and his hands aren't yet that coordinated if he is really really tired. I have extended the awake time with very low key activities in a somewhat darkened room just some singing and rocking and swaying.
Hope this helps. Looks like it's not working for me today, I can hear my little one being awake (after only 45min :-)

[frankiesmom]

Just wanted to let you know that I battled 45 minute naps with my 12 week old from 3 weeks until 10 weeks until I got down and dirty and did some sleep training.  It was alot of work and frustrating, but almost all of his naps now are 1.5 hours or more and he is so much happier.  Now he can stay awake for 1.5 hours which makes spreading out his feeds easier. 
There is a post on here from me that Zoey helped me so much with.
If you want details, let me know. 

Kim

[frankiesmom]

Oops, I just saw that your ds takes a long am nap, so he knows how to put himself back to sleep.  EVERY nap for me was 45 minutes.  So, it may be an A time issue.  Even after his 1st nap, can he only stay awake for 1 hour?  Ds gets cranky at exactly 1 hour after waking no matter how long he sleeps.  I started increasing his A time slowly with very quiet activity, even if I had to hold him and sing to him and that, along with the sleep training seemed to really help.


You may want to ask the moderators, but I am pretty sure that they shouldn't sleep longer then 2 hours at a time for their naps.  Maybe you need to wake him.

Kim

[Mom to M&M]

IMO four months is WAY too young for only two naps. Most keep the third catnap until 6-9 months of age. I also think 2 or 2.5 hours is too long for the first nap as your LO will stock up all their sleep overnight and early morning and be unable to sleep in the afternoon (but tired and cranky).

I'd limit first nap to 1.5 hours, try for 1.5-2 hours second nap and 30-60 minute catnap.

[GKirk]

Thanks everyone for your help! I have tried extending his A time we have been going for walks.. tomorrow we will do the same as usual but i will take your advice and keep him up extra time.. he is usually ok if i am holding him.. also i will not let his morning nap be too long.. well see how it works!! --cross my finger!!--

[GKirk]

Ok so let me tell you! The extended A time is not working!! It seems to make him take shorter naps AAHH!! Well I have just come to this conclusion *whatever* Because I feel like I am the only one out of all my friends who has a baby who doesnt nap!! haha its true! So basically I am giving up on trying to make him nap longer... it will happen someday (hopefully before he is 18!!) At least he is sleeping through the night now ! Thanks everyone for your ideas

[amacasi1]

Hi there, I noticed your question because we are going through similar issues with our LO, he's about the same age as yours.  I too have tried everything to ease him over the 45 min hump during the day, on good days he'll have one or two 1.5 hr naps and the remainder are 45 mins.  I've had to abandon a set EASY period for the last week and just go with the flow, putting him to sleep when he's tired. I tried my best with extending A time etc, we already swaddled, nothing worked. If he's kept awake he gets overtired and cries for HOURS!!! I'm a member of another on-line birth club, and it seems that this 45 min nap problem with increased night waking is pretty common at about  3 1/2 to 4 months.  It seems it WILL GET BETTER in a few weeks, we just have to live with it as best we can trying to make sure our LOs don't get too overtired in the meantime.

[rinajack]

My DD was a 45 min napper from about 2months until the last week

She never wanted more than that (and often less), woke happy and was already have some long awake times, and some short.  I gave up on EASY routine, followed her cues, and stuck to the basic principles, like not feeding to sleep and stuff.  We were both much happier doing this.

In the last week, several things have changed at home - I started back to work 3 days per week, she spends 2 days in daycare, we started solids (this is one huge eater), and she turned 4mos.

Suddenly, on Tues, she had one nap that was 1 hr 40 mins.  Wed, 2 x 1.5hr naps.  Thur we were out in the morning, very short naps, made up for it with a 4 hr nap in arvo.  Frid away for the day, so only short naps.  Today she is in her second nap of about 2 hrs, and my husband is just waking her as we need to go out. 

I am so proud of her, she worked it out on her own...and from all the reading I have done (on net and in books), MOST babies to eventually do this on their own...mine was early to hit the 45 min naps, and early to come out of it.  Try not to worry to much if your baby is happy - just worry if they are really tired and crying as a result.  I am not sure if any of the changes in our life have made a difference - prob not as those who care for her when I work follow my instructions to the t - but the solids may have helped.

 Anyway, there is hope.

[nursekat]

My DD just started at 3mos to take only 45 minute naps, and it has been a struggle.  She really, really needs good naps during the day or we have an awful evening (fussing from 7pm to 10pm) and a rough night (waking every few hours, needing soothing).  She can be very spirited and is easily overstimulated during the day, so we've had to really focus on keeping it calm.  This often means me staying home more, but to me it is worth it to have a calm day at home than a stressful day out and about.  Not everything works all the time, but this is what's helping so far:

- Going in when she first wakes at 45 minutes, and either doing shush-pat or just resting my hands on her (one on chest, one on legs) and not giving eye contact or engaging/talking activities, just being there.  It often may take 20-30 minutes for her to fall back asleep, but when she does, she'll sleep another hour or so.  I know Tracy often advises not to rush in immediately, but I've found if I go in right away, she's still groggy and slips back asleep more easily.  If I wait to see if she'll settle herself (she won't), she'll get worked up and upset and awake and is much harder to put her back down down.

- Trying the wake-to-sleep method.  It doesn't always work for her, because it's hard to guage when her sleep cycles are (she self-soothes the first time around, so it's hard to know exactly when she falls asleep).  She'll wake anywhere from 45 mins to an hour.  But sometimes it works, and of course when it does, it's worth it!!

- When all else fails, I'll hold her and rock her to sleep.  I know this is accidental parenting, but I also know her nap issues are temporary and I do all the other "right" methods first, so I don't see it as becoming a habit - I just see it as me helping her get the sleep she desperately needs!

- I plan to use the weekends when my DH is home to help ME get some rest and relaxation - trying to get a baby back to sleep 3-4 times a day is stressful, taxing, and exhausting.  Not to mention I had to give up MY naps!  LOL!   

Good luck!  And keep searching these forums - there's lots of great stuff out there!

[nwmm]

I am no expert as it relates to naps.  Everyone, I know, knows we have been working hard as it relates to naps - - for months. 

My advice is read what you can as it relates to sleep.  Someone already replied that there is so much information on this site and so many people to offer advice.

Try new things.  What does not work one week or month may work the next or months from now.

The wake to sleep never worked for us.  For the past 5 days, it has been working fairly well.  I hate to say, but I  had already given up hope on that technique.   Again, try new things and give it a chance to work.  (I AM NOT SAYING YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!    Believe me.  I understand what you are going through!)  If it does not work, move onto another technique.

My Mom is able to go in and put pressure on my lo to help her into the next sleep cycle.  It never works for me.

I try not to break Baby Whisperer techniques, but sometimes you may need to bend the rules in order to get through.    I used to have to use white noise because my lo could not self soothe no matter what I did.  I was pretty worried.  I worked thru it and sometimes used white noise.  Now, she does not need it and does self soothe.

As I cheated here and there, I was able to tweak her schedule.  As I did slowly, I was able to get her on a more decent schedule.  As I got her on a more decent schedule I was able to slowly not break any BW rules.

I am sure you have heard before, you won't have a lo going off to college with their pacifier or needing you to rock them to sleep.