Bedtime is becoming a nightmare

[mari]

Thanks Steph and Mari, might try the swim napppies. We have those pampers things all right, but yeah expensive. We've had so many accidents he's got a double bed sheet on his cot tonight!

I don't know if I could bear to look at those labour thingies!

Go on, bring back all those fab  memories 

[rach]

Well just as we've sorted out the bedtime issue, we have another.  Charlotte has started to come into our room and into our bed early in the morning, say about 5 ish.  At first I thought it was later than this, but that is only when i'd woken up and noticed she was there, but last night she woke me as she climbed in.

So how do I handle this, I don't want her to feel as though i'm shutting her out when Cameron sleeps in our room (in the crib), but it does affect my sleep because she seems to want to sleep on my side of the bed and I end up clinging on for dear life so that I don't fall out.  Also, I could do without a tantrum at that time in the morning, especially when Cameron is asleep.  Any suggestions?

[Johanne]

Could you talk to her about it today - in the daytime when Cameron is awake. Maybe try talking to her about how she is a big girl and how she has her own room and knows how to sleep there properly, but when she was a baby she slept in your room too. We explained to DS1 before Alex was born that babies have to sleep with their parents until they are 6 months old and that was what the Health Visitor said. We explained it was something to do with their breathing (which is as it was explained to me), so it was important but Alex would have his own room after 6 months. We also explained that that is what happened when DS1 was a baby. I know DS1 is older and he takes "scientific" explanations on board well, but I've always believed in giving him real answers an information anyway from a young age, so it might work with Charlotte. HTH! 

[rach]

Its definitely worth a try!  Thanks Jo 

[annas mum]

OOH OOH Were going through this too!!! What has helped a bit is we have bought one of those child lamps  - hers has winnie the pooh on it as that is her current favourite- and put it on a plug timer in her room . We have said that when the light comes on it is awake time, if the lights not on then she must stay in her bed or read a book until it comes on as is still night night time - its been a bit hit and miss , but things are definately starting to improve and she now gets really excited to come in and tell us when the lights on, and we're past 6am now which is much more do-able !!

HTH

Clare

Mum to Anna 2yrs 8 months and Nathan 11 months

[rach]

I like that idea Clare, thanks.  That is definitely worth a try.

Tonight we were back to where we started with bedtime, complete paddy about going to bed, so in the end I'm sorry to say, she came downstairs and sat quietly and fell asleep on the sofa.  I didn't know what else to do with Cameron wanting to be fed and screaming his head off because I was upstairs trying to sort Charlotte out.  Hey ho - hopefully things will improve again.  I know what the problem was - she fell asleep late on in the afternoon - always asking for trouble when that happens.

[mari]

At least you know what the problem is and you can try to avoid it in the future.  I am still struggling with Alex.  She went to bed no probs, kiss night night after story and she lay in her cot for about half an hour, quite happily until she fell asleep at 8pm.  She woke at 4.30am and we have been up ever since. urrgh

[Maeve]

OH MY GOD!

[Johanne]

And i complained cos I was up for a feed at 6 

Jo

[rach]

Yeah that's a bit early!

[clairewillsmum]

hi rachel, the thing with kids is that you think you've cracked one problem and then another comes along  ! I have 2 sons, Will is just over 3 and a half and Oliver is 7 months. It definitely helps bathing both together, then letting Will play in his room whilst I put Oli to bed. Then me & Will go downstairs together, have a bit of supper, stories i.e. our special time and then go to bed at half seven. The problem I have is actually getting Will to stay in bed and go to sleep! He loves to look out the window and or put the light on and walk around his room, looking at toys and books etc. he doesn't really have a daytime sleep anymore but whether he does or he doesn't, doesn't really seem to affect how quick he goes to sleep. He doesn't want a nightlight, has blackout linings, the room is dark etc. Any suggestions? At the mo we are resorting to taking a toy away each time we have to go up after 2 initial warnings. doesn't seem to bother him greatly the next day when he can't play with it!

[rach]

Hi Claire

It is so annoying when they don't seem bothered by having things confiscated isn't it!  Charlotte didn't want to get dressed this morning and she knows that later on we're going to the park, so when I said that if she didn't get dressed she wouldn't be able to go to the park, she said no park! 

Have you tried a reward system - something like a sticker chart.  Turn the bedtime issue round and rather than it being negative (removing toys), try something positive.  If you go to bed like a good boy when mummy and daddy say, you get a sticker.  Then if he's good throughout the week, at the weekend he gets a treat of his choice as a reward for going to bed so well - a trip to the park, feeding the ducks etc.

I'm sure other people will post with lots of ideas, people are great here!

Good luck!  Keep us posted!

***

Last night went really well!  Not only did she go to bed well, but we had a chat and talked about her staying in her bed all night.  She came into our room at 9 o'clock this morning!  She had a big cuddle with mummy and daddy and was so proud of herself!

[~Faye~]

WELL DONE CHARLOTTE
That is great news Rach. Good for her.

{{{HUGS}}} to Charlotte, and you of course

Faye

[mari]

I did a reward system with Nathan and he had to do 10 night (in a row) in his bed and after a few breaks, then 5 clear nights, He was looking forward to putting his sticker on the chart in the morning.  He got to choose a gift fom the Argos Catalogue (within reason)  and he is so good now.  I still get him a little gift now for staying in his bed all night sometimes, just to show that he's appreciated, I think he finds it hard as he always used to come in before Alex was born and although she's 18months now and he's 5 he still needs a cuddle and misses being in with me.  Sometimes, when he lapses I say 'what happened last night then, why did you need to come in my bed' and he says, 'I was worried that you might be lonely (DH works away) and needed a cuddle'  He's so sweet, how could I send him back to bed?

[rach]

Awwww bless him - what a cutie