regretting incorporating the DF...How do I get out of it?!!!!

[Tulafina]

How old is your child? 4.5months
What’s his/her daily routine? Wakes at 730, we don't have a really rigid schedule but it's around 3.5 EAESY, I watch for his signs and he sleeps when he needs to, with cluster feeding at night before bed which is 730-8pm. I nurse a lot during the day because he's a very slow weight gainer.
What’s nap routine? Naps 1hr at 9am for first nap most times, 1.5 for the second 1230pm and 1-1.5, 330pm for the last
How long are naps?
What's bedtime routine? Time? bedtime is bath, rock in the rocking chair and singing, cuddling...usually 8 pm
Do you bottle or breastfed?? B/f
How much? or how long? Varies..He usually eats like crazy in the am but it tapers off at night which is why I cluster, or he'd wake alot more than he is I think
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)both most times, at night wakings only one side
How many wakes per night?3-4
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? He squirms in bed until he starts to fuss, then I feed, he stays asleep, and I reswaddle and he sleeps instantly
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?Fussing
What have you tried to settle?? nope
What do you do for A time and how long is it?read, alot of walking with the sling, swimming at the pool, toys and videos, singing, peekaboo
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? yes he's been teething for months now and that is when the night wakings started to be so frequent
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months)nope
Do they have a prop? If so what is it?no props other than needing the boob to feel drowsy but we are working on that
Do they have a lovie?nope

So the question I have is...How do I get out of a df now that I have incorporated it. He wakes more often, poops more often at night which is disastrous to the rest of the night!, and he now wakes ealier and earlier in the night FOR his df. He isn't asleep for his df, because now he expects it so he wakes to get it. Is this the way it should be? He is also sleeping 3 hour stretches, whereas he was sleeping 5 hour stretch to begin with. I really think I screwed up a good thing by doing the df and now I really regret it. He wants it now too, so I have to try over and over to get him back to sleep because I know he doesn't need it. He won't eat much at df either. Please someone help!

Thank you so much, if there's anything I missed just let me know. Julie

[Zoey]

Hi there.  I'm sorry you are having a rough time.

Perhaps this will help you some:  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54662.0 if its a bottle and: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65750.0 if its breast.

Also just a thought, an incorrect easy routine can make night wakings - perhaps its time to start moving toward the 4 hour routine?

Have you tried the gentle removal plan for the boob prop?  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=2361.0

Also if the last nap is 1-1.5 hours that means lo is going from 430pm - 5pm til 8pm?  If I am reading it correctly.  That may be too much A time for his age, if he is overtired/overstimulated at bedtime, that too can contribute to night wakings. 

I wouldn't tend to a fuss really.  I would wait for a real cry then go to him and feed if he is hungry.  Always feed a hungry baby - however if he isn't hungry can you try to settle with something other then the boob?  Pat/shh perhaps or some form of it?   I don't know if you have someone who can help - but if someone else could do the settling, that may be helpful as you smell like BM and it might make it harder.

Naturally for the teething try to make him as comfy as possible with whatever meds your MD says are safe.  We find Hylands teething tabs and Infant Motrin to work very well for teething, but consult your MD before giving LO any medication.

I hope this helps some.  Let me know
Zoey

[Tulafina]

Thanks so much Zoey!
I will try to be a little more rigid with the schedule. I think trying to make his am naps longer will help a bit. I tried to put him down for his nap after 1hr45min of A time and he went ballistic. It was like a completely different child. I took him out and fed him because I tried to put him down without feeding him like I have been, and he ate like he was ravenous, on both sides! I fed him between 730-8am so I didn't think that 1.75hrs was THAT long for him to be starving.

 Should I feed close to S time for a little while, and slowly wean like you said in your previous post. I could feed half and hour before the nap and maybe he'll be happier?

I dropped the df last night, it took awhile to get him down, about half an hour compared to the 15 mins the day before. He slept from 8pm to 1am which is great. He eats alot at his 1am feed then he's up at 3am and 5 am and then 7am. My god I am so tired the mornings!

Another question...I had been cosleeping up until a week ago when I started BW. He is now in his room in his crib, and he is sleeping better because he's a light sleeper, but at 5am I am so exhausted I bring him into bed with me.....Is this just making it more difficult for him? I should be putting him back in his crib shouldn't I:(

By the way I love the picture of your baby and you! It is very sweet.
Thanks again for your time! It means so much to me! Julie

[Zoey]

Hey Julie;

I think the further you can move the feed away from the S, the better - I think even 30 mins is great.  I really think he is using your boob to comfort suck AND to snack.  Moving him to the correct easy will fix that, but you'll have to be a bit strict.  If you like feeding on demand, I am not saying there is anything wrong with that, its just hard to do easy and other BW methods - know what I mean?

Snacking and comfort sucking on your boob I feel is another reason why you are getting so many NWings.  I think one or two are ok, but if he needs you and boobie each time he wakes - then its just a prop, and he will need you to go back to sleep.

Co-sleeping - I did this at 5am like you.  I was up every hour plugging Owens paci back in from 12am til 5am then Id take him in my bed cause I was just exhausted.  I'll tell you, that was a hard habit to break.  I would rec you stop this, not only because it's not a great habit, but also you smell like BM and it will be even harder for him to sit by his beloved boobie and not wanna have a suck lol.  Yes, keep him in the crib love!

Aww thanks about the picture, I hate having my picture taken, so I think that is the ONLY one that exists (cept for the hospital ones lol)  I so love black and white pictures.

I hope this helps, if not let me know - I am here to support you in whatever way I can girl!

Zoey