14 month old fighting bedtime since weaning

[lucmom]

Hi,
I recently weaned my LO from his bedtime feed (it was the last one I'd been doing, and the weaning went very smoothly).  The problem is that we're struggling with adapting his bedtime routine now.  The first few nights he took a sippy cup of milk and let me rock him for a little bit (and even pointed to his crib one night) and went to sleep pretty easily.  However, the past two nights, he's been fussing during his story and lullaby time, and then screaming once I put him in his crib.  He still goes to sleep within 20 minutes or so and sleeps through the night.  It this normal for kids this age who are no longer nursing to sleep?  Is it just phase to ride out, or what it's like with toddlers, or does anyone have tips or advice on how to get back to a peaceful nighttime routine?

Thanks!

[Florencia]

I think he's just adapting to his new routine, although he could be hungry if he's not longer accepting the sippy of milk but it's not replacing the calories he used to have by that time with the breast. If he won't accept a sippy anymore, would he accept a few spoons of yoghurt or a slice of cheese? same calcium and proteins and he wouldnt be going to bed with an empty stomach.

If hunger is not part of the equation, then my guess is that he's just adapting. After all 20 mins (even if they're spent battling ) is not a long time. As long as it doesn't get worse or involves too much crying, keep things just as they are in the hopes he'll settle soon. IF it doesn't happen, then try adding new (low key) elements to the routine, like singing a lullaby or watching 5 mins of a dvd, a massage or even doing the same things you do for winddown but in a longer stretch of time. Sometimes toddlers put up a fight against "rushing" the routine. They like to do things on their "own" time so maybe adding 5-10 mins to the routine might help. I have found that after bath, ds tends to go down quicker and calmer if i spend 5 mins massaging him with lotion.

Congrats on your successful weaning! keep us posted!

[CarolinaGirl]

I was wondering how you are doing on the bedtime routine? I took m 16 m.o.'s bottle away 2 weeks ago and he fights me at bedtime. He has always been a great sleeper. I used to rock him until he got the stare and then put him down to sleep all night. Now, he stands on top of me, pulls my hair, hits me, tries to get down. This goes on for 30-60 minutes at which point I finally put him in his crib and walk out, walk in, shhh, pat, pick up, put down, etc. until he goes to sleep. I am totally exhausted and disqusted by the time he is asleep. What have you tried that works?  What time is your baby's bedtime and nap?  Thanks! Heather

[lucmom]

Hi Heather,
Well, it's getting a little better in that the crying is getting shorter, but we're still having similar issues to you. The last two nights he started getting cranky during his bath, I think because he knew bedtime was coming .  Mainly, I've just been trying to be very consistent about bedtime and the general routine, although I'm experimenting with little variations within the larger routine.  What seems to work so far is letting him kind of take the lead after his bath.  We go into his room around 6:45 and I let him explore and read whatever books he wants.  After about 10 minutes, I tell him it's almost bedtime and we start cleaning up and saying good night to things.  If he seems calm, I try to rock him for a little bit, and then put him in his crib.  I've been trying talking to him a little and then going out, but it still seems like he'll cry for a little just to be mad about things.  We're down to about 5-10 minutes before he zonks out.  It breaks my heart to end the day with a struggle, but I think it's just the way toddlers are.

He usually wakes up between 6:00-6:30, and then takes his nap anywhere between 11:30 and 12:30 for 1-2 hours.

I wonder if your LO is also getting overtired as well as adjusting to bedtime without the bottle.  Do you think it would be the same if you put him down sooner rather than fight him that 30-60 minutes?

[CarolinaGirl]

Thanks for the ideas! I am glad things are getting better for you.

I have thought about putting him down earlier but he has always had this sort of routine. We eat around 630-700 and take a family walk so it is 800 before bath. I also like that he sleeps later (830-900). I have thought of moving everything up to an earlier bedtime, especially when my big kids start back to school next week (they have to be at school at 710). I will probably do that since I will be getting up at 6 anyway and I need that time to myself at the end of the evening. I have 3 older kids and they all fought bedtime but they were not as strong willed as Luke!  This is like everything else, it passes... and something else comes along to perplex us...

Good luck to you! Heather