to feed or not to feed (at 4 am)

[stellasmom]

My answers to the usual questions are down below.  But, here's my question to you all.  Stella is almost 5 months and she weighed 17 pounds at her 4 month check up, so she is probably 18 or 19 pounds by now.  She is an angel/textbook baby (I never could tell the big difference between the two).  She's very easy.  She goes down without a fuss at 8:30 or 9:00 pm.  We do a dreamfeed around 11pm.  Then at 3 or 4 she starts a mantra cry.  Just loud enough that I can hear her in my room next to hers.  If we go in she can be soothed in her crib without starting to cry.  But, she doesn't fall asleep for at least an hour.  So, I feed her.  She takes a full feed and resettles.  Then sleeps till 8:00am when I wake her for the day.

Last night I tried to have my DH do the soothing and feed (with expressed bm) but she didin't resettle for 2 hours.  She drank 6 oz with him.

Should I skip the dream feed?  Should I ignore her?   Should I continue since it is only one feed?  

TIA,
Ali


How old is your child? Almost 5 months
What’s his/her daily routine?  3.5-4 Hour EASY with DreamFeed
What’s nap routine? goes down very east at 10, 2 and 6
How long are naps? anywhere from 1 hour to 2 hours What's bedtime routine? Feed, swaddle, turn on sound machine (wind), lovie, then she's outTime? between 8:30 and 9:00
Do you bottle or breastfed?? breast with one expressed bottle a day for my dh
How much? or how long? more than 10 minutes, less than 20.  Between 4-7 oz a feed
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) mostly both
How many wakes per night? she doesn't wake during the dreamfeed, then there is one feed that she is awake for
What’s your LO like when waking at night? she just seems unsettled  How long is he/she up? 30 minutes to 2 hours
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? fussing Or is it a mantra cry? yes, just a mantra cry
What have you tried to settle?? jiggling her int he crib on her side, lovie, rubbing her face with her security blanket, singing, shhhhing,
What do you do for A time and how long is it? excersaucer, reading, jumper, stroller walks, playing, talking, singing,  1/12 - 2 hrs.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? not that I know of
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months)  no, tempted, but no
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? none
Do they have a lovie? yes. only used in the crib at the start of sleep, if needed.

[NikiJ]

Hi Stellasmom,

Your lo does seem to be hungry when she wakes.  IMO it's a growth spurt.  I can't see if you cluster feed in the evening, do you?  For a baby of Stella's age on 4 hr easy, Tracy recommends a cluster feed at 7 & one at 9 too, if they are going through a growth spurt & then the dreamfeed at 11.

What do you think??  Do you cluster feed?

Also, you say her cry is a mantra cry.  What happens if you don't go into her?  Tracy says not to answer a mantra cry.  Have you tried leaving her for a few mins?

Hope this helps

Niki

[LyndaManus]

I am sorry, but what is a mantra cry???

My lo is at 4 months and is 17lbs so I think we are a month behind you in all respects (schedule and everything) so I cannot give you much advice.  My LO wakes between 3:00 or 4:00 for a feed every morning just like yours.  I have been told that if he wakes at the same time every night it is a habit but if it is at different times (which it sounds like it is) then she is probably hungry.  I am not going to try to get ds to sleep through the night until around 6 months when he starts on solids.

[NikiJ]

Hi Lynda

a mantra cry is more of a fussy cry than a "I want mommy" cry. 

Can I ask why you don't want lo to sleep through until 6mths?

[LyndaManus]

I have just heard that it is best not to push it until they are on solids and I am trying to hold off on solids until 6 months.  If he does it on his own that is great or if I start feeling that he is waking out of habit I will probably do pu/pd.  Right now I don't have any doubts that ds is hungry (he has a very specific hungry cry) and he only wakes once a night right now.  On a more selfish side - I work full time and bf.  I miss so many feedings during the day that I really don't mind getting up since he is such a quick eater(especially if it is just once a night).

In BW it says that they should be sleeping at least 6 to 7 hours at this stage and then longer after they start solids.  DS goes 6 hours on a regular basis (10:00pm (df) to 4:00am) so I figure we are right where we should be for now.

I was re-reading your post and I think I missed yesterday where you noted that you can sooth her back to sleep pretty easy without her crying.  In your case, I would think that you are probably right to try to eliminate the feeding.  If ds is hungry, I would not be able to do that.  I went through a stent recently where DS really wanted activity time in the middle of the night - is that maybe what she is doing??

[Diegos Mama]

Here's my take:

If it's a growth spurt,  you'd see a definte increase in appetite and I would think you'd see this increase during the daytime too.  So, some additional questions to piggyback what NikiJ commented on is if you do see such appetite increase. 

She may simply need to be weaned off of the nightfeed.  When I weaned my first boy off of his only nightfeed, I decreased the number of minutes he nursed by one or two at a time over the course of two weeks or so.  Then I increased his feeds during the day.  You may want to go back towards a three hour routine to increase your demand on breastfeeding and up your milk supply.  Clusterfeed as NickJ suggested.  You want to add whichever calories you slowly take away at night to daytime feeds.  As you wean down to just a few minutes, you'll have to work with baby for a few nights, maybe even up to a week to help settle and break the habit of the nightfeed.

If you think it's truly hunger, I would certainly try to increase how much milk she takes during the day.  Had she been sleeping through the night in the past?  Has she ever?

Have you left her to work it out on her own?  I wonder if by 'rushing in' you're preventing her from learning to go back to sleep on her own.  If it were me, I'd increase daytime calories, then leave her be at night and only going in if her cry begins to escalate and you can tell there's no way she'll settle back down.  Even if it takes quite a while, and it's just a fussy, whiny type cry, I'd let her be and see if she can eventually resettle.

Last question:  Does she take a pacifier?