Alway Cries Before Bed - Please help

[Mill]

Hi again

We are having terrible trouble getting our Charlie to sleep. This relates to daytime naps and bedtime.
We are currently following EASY and have had help on this forum to make sure that what we are doings correct. From Charlie's early days we were very conscious about trying to get him to fall asleep on his own and this has worked for some time. Over the past week or so, we are getting screaming fits which is really distressing us and Charlie. We don't like to leave him to long to cry as it is horrible but we really want to get him out of this habit.

Does anybody have any ideas or suggestions as to what we can do.

Many thanks

Mill

[Lana]

How old is he?  Are you on a three or four hour routine?  How many naps?

[M2L]

hi mill,

my LO will sometimes do the same thing before her daytime naps.  i let her cry in my arms and then she eventually falls asleep.  it's very predictable, and her little fits are getting shorter and shorter.  apparently it is not all that unusual.  there is a very good article on another post about not letting your LO CIO, which is excellent.  it talks about letting your LO CIO in your arms, which is not the same as letting your LO CIO or even CC.

HTH.

[Missy Lou]

so no luck so far with the suggestions from your other post i guess?

[Mill]

Hi all

Charlie is 13 weeks now, is on a 3 hour routine and has 3 naps a day.

Mlee, your help was great but this situation has worsened rapidly over the past week or so. We took your advice with EASY but even when we change him at night he knows what is going to happen and starts to cry before we have even finished putting his PJ's on. His naps are no different and start to cry as soon as we put him down. His crying has also become hysterical when my husband puts him down.

The whole situation is really concerning and is the only thing that is really bothering us at the moment. We really want to be able to put him down and let him go to sleep on his own without getting distressed.

Many thanks again and I hope to hear from you soon.

Mill

[Mill]

Hi

I have just noticed on other post that they bath, feed & then bed.
At present we feed, bath & bed. Should we be doing it the other way around then and would this help.

Thanks

Mill

[M2L]

that's what i do (bath, feed, bed) as she would be too stimulated by a bath right before bed.

lindsay used to cry when i put her down when she was younger so i did shush-pat which worked very well most of the time.  are you using this technique (i assume you are??)?

also, how much does he weigh?  i have had to adapt the different EASYs to lindsay based on her weight, not her age, as she is a dainty little girl and weighs less that most babies.   as a result, her tummy was always a little behind average size babies and i went slower with her.

another thing i had to do was put her to bed a little later as she cried when i put her down at 7:30 pm.  now she goes at 8:00 or 8:30 pm, usually with no fuss or muss.  as for naps, i watch her cues carefully to see when she is tired and she will nap at roughly the same time every day, but it's not always at the same time.  i have her on a routine, not a schedule!!! 

gotta' run - it's time for missy's dreamfeed!!!

[Lynne Ninnis]

What time is the last nap before bed? My lo just can't stay awake past 2 hours before becoming very highly stressed but i often found that the wake period before bed is longer than this. She now usually has a 45 minute sleep around 5pm in preparation for bed by 7.

[DinaW]

Hi Mill, any luck with calming your LO for the daytime naps? Just a few min ago my DS was screaming his heart and next thing he was sleeping and smiling. I NEVER leave him alone, but hold him in my arm or lay with him on a bed and sh/pat him. Doesn't seems to work. It's like to need to cry something out and then fall asleep. Heartbreaking. How to break it I don't know. But he is good at bedtime. Our bedtime routine: bath-feed-massage-feed-bed. If he's happy enough I do bath-massage-feed-bed. Lately he wanted extra feed between bath and massage.

[Mill]

Hi Dina

We have not had any luck with our daytime naps infact they are getting worse. It took 45 minutes to get him down this afternoon. As you say it is heartbreaking. We have changed our bedtime routine tonight to bath, feed then bed but as soon as we put him in his pj's he thought he was going to bed.

Anyway we perservere.

Mill

[DinaW]

Hi Mill, Just a thought, did you tried to wear your LO in a sling. When mine was smaller I worn him and he was more contend and calmer. Ad says you can do some homework while wearing your child. Didn't work for me, maybe sling wasn't properly adjusted, don't know, but I was wearing him for hours, took him for a walk even shopping sometimes and he slept beautifully in it. Now unfortunately my back is weak and I can't wear him for long. What good about a sling is that you can put awake baby in there, and when he is in a deep sleep put him down in his cop in a sling (don't try to take him out of there). This is just a thought, as I said.
Was he crying for 45 min or you tried to put him to sleep? Mine usually scream 5, 10 min max and fall in asleep. I'm trying to "read" his cue but it seems I'm missing the window all the time. And we end up with a crying baby. I want to buy "No-Cry Sleep Solution" book and see what it has to say. Some advices are in "Baby Book" by Sear, some of them are rather extreme though.
Good luck to both of us.
Dina

[M2L]

Lynne (sorry i didn't respond earlier - my internet service is down  so i am on another computer):

lindsay's daytime naps are quite predictable (9 am and then 2 or 2:30 pm, usually).  she MAY nap after 4 pm, as late as 6 pm.  she doesn't seem to be a kid that needs alot of daytime sleep, though.  today, for instance, she napped for around a half hour in the morning and around 1.5 hours in the afternoon.  bedtime was no problem, no fuss, no muss.

[DinaW]

Hi Mill,

Any luck? I hope I cracked it. First, I feed him before nap. In my case I reckon he didn't have enough at 3 hours plan. Then I'm using white noise CDs. Remember I mentioned radio on static, it did worked so that I bought some proper. Rain and Thunder works particularly well. I thought it would disturb him but not, he settles very nicely and sleeps beautifully.
Try, we have nothing to loose. If if cries put sound really loud and LO will start listening and stop crying. Poor things can do two things at once .
Keep posted
Dina

[amymc]

Reading this post and the replies has been so comforting to me...my 4 month old DS has always cried before sleeping and can take over an hour to help him get to sleep for each nap and at bedtime. We have a very regular wind-down routine and try to watch him closely for signs of tiredness, but he always cries...it's really hard when your baby struggles and fights going to sleep! Is this something that babies will eventually outgrow?

[Missy Lou]

amymc:

it seems like 4 months is a difficult time for a lot of babies.  i remember my lo was having the worse time at that age.  honestly, amymc, i think this difficulty sleeping comes and goes.  my lo is 6 months now and is having trouble again.  but that's why it's important, in my opinion, to stick with a routine and try your best not to do a bunch of accidental parenting so that we can eventually teach them good sleep habits.

i know it's hard to watch them struggle.  when it's night time and my lo is struggling, i don't sleep.  i can't sleep unless i know she is. 

would you like to post your own info on a separate post and we can discuss your lo and maybe come up with something to try?

mill:
what's going on? 

melissa