Alway Cries Before Bed - Please help

[Sleepless in UK]

Sorry to gatecrash on this discussion but my LO is 8 mo and he's doing exactly the same thing at the moment.  We went through a stage where he would go to sleep no problem at bedtime and naps but over the last week he's started crying.  Yesterday for his afternoon nap it took me nearly an hour to get him to sleep and in the end he fell asleep on me through sheer exhaustion.  It's horrible to watch them like that but i'm hoping that it is just a phase that we have to push past. 

When we put him down now he's started playing peek a boo with his little taggie blanket and thinks its hysterical but we have to stand back and ignore him which is really hard as it's so cute!!  He thinks he's being really clever!

We've tried the white noise with Freddie and it really helps.  He likes the sound of waves and also there's a heartbeat option which seems to do the trick if the others fail.

Good luck
xx

[Missy Lou]

hi sleepless in uk.  i just wrote in another post about how crazy babies seem to get with sleep between 6-8 (just my observation from reading these posts).  my lo is 6.5 months and is nutty in her sleep patterns.  we're doing like you though and just keeping going with our routine and hoping it's a phase.  your poor little angel. 

my lo starts to smile really big and wiggle around when we walk in and it's hard to not start kissing on her because she is so precious but we try to ignore the cuteness also.  i agree that it's very hard.  i'm sure it's harder for you because not only is he being cute but he's showing you how much he's learning.

we use the ocean sounds also.  mostly to block out the noise from around the house.
melissa

[Mill]

Hi all

Sorry for not replying earlier but I have not been around.

We are still having problems on and off with Charlie, sometimes it is pick up put down once and others days it is much more but we cannot work out what is different. He does tend to nap for only 40 minutes at a time during the day but still seems tired but wont go back to sleep.

We are still haveing big problems as I have posted before when my husband puts him down. I am expressing so that he can feed him and put him to sleep but it is horrible to see Charlie cry so much, often hysterical.  I will get a cd with White Noise and try that but in the meantime if you have any advice with regard to my hubby or sleep in general then that would be appreciated.

Regards

Mill

[Missy Lou]

he's 4 months now right?

have you adjusted his routine yet?

also, it wasn't until my lo was about 15 or so weeks before DH could calm her.  even now, i'm usually the one that puts her down and i'm the one she's used to.  maybe dh could try putting him down for a nap during the day so that if it doesn't work, you're there to help out and it's not the middle of the night.  charlie will get used to his dad but he's probably just used to you right now for comfort and feeding.  keep trying and i don't know if your dh gets a little stressed but charlie will notice it.  just take it slow and try during the day for a bit until charlie gets more used to him.  also, have your dh watch you (out of charlie's sight) while you're comforting charlie because it may also be that charlie is used to the way you rock, hold, him etc. and dh may do things differently and watch and see how you do it.
melissa

[DinaW]

We are back to square 1 again. Cries hysterically everytime I put him to sleep with white noise, sounds of nature, etc. After all efforts will sleep for 40-45 min. DH no help, his advice, leave him to decide when he wants to sleep. Great! I did once and we end up with extremely overtired baby and he left him to me to calm down.
Absolutely tired and exhausted. Would do anything to stop him crying, it breaks my heart ..........

[Mill]

Mlee

Thanks for your reply.

We have not changed his routine as yet How should we change it & what should we do?
My hubby has been putting him down during the day but still not with great results.I do express so he can feed him & we have been putting him to bed together.So we are trying.

Regards

Mill

[Missy Lou]

dinaw - start another post so we can figure out something to do.  i agree that at 3 months, your lo can't just decide to sleep.  regardless of what it seems, he actually does want to sleep but for some reason can't.  it's not the way it is for an adult, a 3 month old can't "just go to sleep".  but i think we need to have a post just for your lo so we can figure this out.

mill
i can't remember if you have tracy's book or not.  she talks about a way to transition to 4 hour easy in it. 

is charlie eating every 3 or 3.5 hours?  we first had lo start eating every 3.5 hours so that there wouldn't be this really huge gap of a whole hour between eating. 

how long does he stay up at one time? 

let me know and then we'll figure out a way to move from either 3.5 to 4 hours between eating.  i'm about to leave for work so i won't be back on until after lo goes to bed tonight (about 7:30 or 8 central time).

keep trying with dh.  i'm sure it may be difficult on both you and dh but it sounds like you are doing a good job of it.
melissa

[Mill]

Hi

We do have Tracey's book & will look up transition to 4 hours at present he eats every 3 hours and that includes through the night too. He only manages to have 3 x 45 minutes sleep during the day so after about 1hr 15mins he starts to get grumpy so I try and put him down to sleep.

Regards

Mill

[nursekat]

Mill -
A couple of thoughts - it sounds like your LO is going through the 45-min nap monster (occurs between 3-6 mos)...have you done some work on extending his naps past the 45 mins?  It could be he's overtired by the time he goes down, hence the screaming.  It could also be the reason he's still waking frequently at night.  If our LO (16weeks) doesn't get her full naps (as in 1.5 to 2 hrs x3 times a day), she is a monster in the evening before bed and it affects her nighttimes, also.  She, too, wakes after 45 mins but we work hard at getting her right back to sleep for a full nap (check out our support thread and the FAQs under the naps forum).

I also remember a story in Tracy's book (I think it was in the fixing probs in 3-days section) about a boy who screamed any time he was near his crib, and what she did to fix it.  Maybe re-reading that would help?  Because he's learned his PJs mean bedtime??

Just some thoughts.

[Missy Lou]

good thoughts nursekat.  i'm sorry if i never mentioned that mill - she's right about the 45 minute nap monster.  pu/pd can help with that and so can wake to sleep.  the naps board has a ton of info on both.

we did first pushed back eating to every 3.5 hours so there wouldn't be an hour gap one day in eating.  i also noticed that once we starting pushing meals back that 30 minutes, she didn't need to eat every 3 hours at night and could go 4 or 5 hours between eating at night.  just a thought on eating at night that i read in tracy's book (i can't remember where) to make sure that they're not just waking at the same time every night out of habit, give them a pacifier and see if that soothes them enough.  one night i gave lo her pacifier to soothe her while i made her bottle and when i got back, she was asleep.  that's just a thought if you don't mind using a pacifier.