Author Topic: I've lost all my BW skills after 2-3 weeks of frequent night waking. Help!!  (Read 1102 times)

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Offline londonlady

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Hi,
I posted a couple of weeks ago when my (then) 9 week old son's routine suddenly went all out of whack. He was following 3 hr easy like clockwork, sleeping from 7am til about 4am (with a DF at about 11pm) and then going back to sleep nicely until 7am. Absolute angel. Then at 9.5weeks he started waking earlier for his feed, then adding in additional night wakings. I thought it may be that he could go longer between feeds as he was feeding very quickly each time, but he couldn't stay awake long enough during his A time to make this work. My husband thought that maybe he was getting too much sleep during the day (although our son was following the routine to the letter) so we tried cutting down his naps during the day. That hasn't worked either. He is often over tired at each nap and is still waking during the night. I just can't understand how it was all going so well and he was making good progress, and now he is waking us up nearly every hour... So I'm answering the suggested questions in the hope that someone else's BW skills can help us!!

How old is your child?
11 weeks.

What’s his/her daily routine?
E 7am (feels like a small feed)
A 7.15-8.15 max
S 1 hr-1.5hrs

E 10.15/10.30
A 10.45am-11.30
S 1.5-2 hrs

E 1.15/1.30
A 1.45-2.30pm
S 2.45/3pm - 4pm (often take him out for a walk in the buggy during this sleep period)

E 4pm
A 4.15-5pm
S 5.15-6pm cat nap

Go straight to bath, as he often possets if I feed then bath him even when i lave a good half hr after a feed.
Massage, nappy change
Eats at about 6.30-6.45

Short spell of being awake before wind down to bed at 7-7.30pm.
DF at 11pm
Feed at 3-3.30am
Night wakings generally 1am, 2.30am 5am etc.

What’s nap routine?
As above.

How long are naps?
Morning 1-1.5 hrs
Lunch 1.5hrs-2 hrs
Often wakes after 30 / 40 / 60 mins and has to be resettled with dummy / reswaddle / turn over.
Afternoon have cut down to 2x 45 min cat naps.

What's bedtime routine? Time?
Bath, massage, feed, cuddle / quiet awake time, swaddle in darkened room, hold for 5 mins, put down and sit in room with him for further 10-15 mins. No problems getting him off to sleep at about 7pm - 7.30pm.

Do you bottle or breastfed??
Breast feed all day, then bottle feed DF.

How much? or how long?
Very fast eater - 10 mins, then he wants a wind, and won't go back on the breast.

If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)
1 side per feed.

How many wakes per night?
Several at the moment. 1 for a feed, and 2-3 additional wakes.

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
Sometimes just grumbly / grunty. We turn him over, give him a dummy. Other times he is really fidgety and frustrated and escalates to a cry. If he's like that we check whether he's wet / soiled, reswaddle him if necessary, hold and sit and put him back down. He generally goes back down quickly but will wake after a further hour's sleep. At the times he wakes after his feed, he is often quite smiley.
 
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
Starts with a fuss, escalates to grunt / whinge then to cry.

What have you tried to settle??
Reswaddle, turn over, dummy, hold and sit.

What do you do for A time and how long is it?
Generally he can only manage 1 -1hr15 awake. Start with nappy change, then usually have a sing and a play on the change mat, followed by some time on the play gym where I leave him to entertain himself for some of the time.

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
I think he may be teething, but the nightwakings have been going on for about 3 weeks now. Is this normal? Also, the teeth aren't cutting through (he's only 11 weeks) but is very dribbly, grumbly and his bowel movements patterns have changed. Possible growth spurt - but again shouldn't be lasting 3 weeks...?

Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months)
No solids as yet.

Do they have a prop? If so what is it?
Has a dummy to soothe him to sleep. Usually resettles without it after his DF and night feed. Other times he is looking for it to help him back to sleep.

Do they have a lovie?
No...

Just can't figure out if the night wakings are to do with day napping - in which case why hasn't cutting down the day naps helped? Or if this is food related - e.g. is he eating so fast at each feed because he can go longer between feeds and take more? If so, shouldn't he be able to stay awake a little longer to make the routine feasible? Or is his inability to stay awake longer during the day a result of the night waking?

Sorry to bombard you with so much info but I am totally confused and losing the ability to see what's going on and how we can get back on track. 

Thanks!

Offline Grace's Mom

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I am not  a pro but maybe it is the paci???  Just a thought.  In my opinion your schedule looks really good.   :D

If you lo is over tired by the naps being shortened, I personally wouldn't shorten them because if your lo is overtired going to bed then there are most likely going to be more night wakings.

I know this wasn't of much help.  I really hope it all gets worked out.

Mel
I am so in love with my husband and adore my precious Grace

Grace April 2006
Blog: http://graceadelyn.blogspot.com/

Offline Colin Macs Mom

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I was also thinking that the paci might be your issue. You might consider trying to get rid of it if you agree that perhaps it has become a prop.

I don't know a thing about breastfeeding, but taking one side only and feeding 10 minutes doesn't sound to me like much. Is it possible that there's a supply problem and he's waking because he's hungry? Or maybe some sort of digestive thing that's preventing him from taking a full feed?
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline londonlady

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Thanks for your replies.
My husband and I also think the paci has become a problem, but am waiting for my him to have a few days off work to help me through the nightmare of weaning the little man off of it. Judging by the stories I've read on this site, it's not a pleasant event!! He is a really sucky baby so I don't think this is going to be easy and I dare say there will be a lot of tears shed (him and me!) In the mean time, he seems to getting more control over his hands / arms, so maybe he will be able to put it back in and it will return to being a comfort item rather than the prop I fear it's become! (I live in hope...)

Will ask the health visitor about a possible digestive issue, but I think the milk supply is ok as I've done a yield previously and I've also tried offering the other side or topping up with formula. Some feeds he'll take an extra ounce or so, but never very much, and he doesn't always want it or the other breast.  My husband also says that DS regularly drains a full bottle feed in less than 10 mins so I think he's just got very efficient at eating.

There has been some improvement in the last few days and my husband has also offered some relief by packing me off for a sleep on my own! BLISS!!! DS has slept a good deal better but we've had a weekend of visiting people, car journeys and so on, so I'm not sure if the improvement will last as it might have just been a reaction to a change of routine.

I also think I need to chill out! I've realised that I'm still coming to terms with the idea that he is not like a work project that will one day be "complete" as he is always developing and changing and that I can't expect him to follow a routine like clockwork every day. Reading more on the site has also made me realise that he is doing pretty well considering his age and that even though the books say one thing, every baby is an individual and will have their own way of doing things. All I can do is my best to set some sensible boundaries and not freak out when it doesn't all go to plan...

Thanks again, and hopefully things will continue to improve.
xxx

Offline Colin Macs Mom

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LOL, I know what you mean about LO and a project. It's so true that they're all different and do things in their own ways. And once we get things straightened out, it all changes again!  ::)  All we can do is the best we can!  ;)

About the paci thing, they're so tough sometimes. My DS has one, because he also had a very strong sucking need. Since I can't BF he really needed an outlet. Of course it became a prop, to the point where we were getting up to replace it at least hourly. Obviously that had to stop, so we took it away cold turkey. For about three days he didn't even notice it was gone, but on that third day it sunk in and boy was he MAD!  ;)  At the point we reintroduced it in the crib only, and that's how things are still. It's technically not a prop, because he can and does sleep without it if it falls out, and he never objects when it's taken away. So my point is, if you think that maybe he still needs the outlet you might try something similar. Who knows if it would work or not, just a thought.
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline londonlady

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Good that you've found a system to work for your LO.
We only use the paci to soothe our LO to sleep or in his pram during nap times when we are out so it is fairly confined usage. It generally drops out when he is properly asleep but then it's a bit of a lottery as to whether he wants it put back in again. Strangely when he's had his bath and his wind down for his big sleep at 7pm, we don't hear a peep out of him all night and he goes back down again without it after his DF and night feed. But during other naps and some nights recently it seems like every time he comes up through his sleep stages he is looking for it and fidgeting / shuffling to help him back to sleep. Strange...

I think we will see how the next couple of weeks go and then bite the bullet and take it away. I don't want him to use it long term and from what I read it's better to do it earlier rather than later...  No doubt I'll be on the props forum pouring my heart out!!!

Ah just heard a wail! Better go!
xxx