Author Topic: This has been going on too long!!  (Read 1254 times)

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Offline Lilasmom

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This has been going on too long!!
« on: August 17, 2006, 23:16:30 pm »
DD is 9 months old today.  She slept though the night (8-10hours) from the age of 7 weeks to 13 weeks.  Then she hit that 3 month growth spurt and has been waking at night 1-2 times ever since.  I don't really know what to do to eliminate these wakings.  She wakes at different times every night.  I think for the most part (for the last few months anyhow)that it's due to hunger.  She's so busy during the day that she doesn't nurse very well.  However, she has days (recently) that she nurses very well.  However, she's still waking up.  Sometimes she wakes 30 minutes after we put her down.  Sometimes 1 hour.  Sometimes 4 hours.  I never know when.  When she wakes, she instantly sits up then stands in her crib and fusses until we go in.  Sometimes she will go back to sleep if we lay her down, give her her soother and soothe her (she likes to hold our hand when she falls asleep).  For the most part though, she needs to be fed.  She'll take a full feed and then go back to sleep easily afterwards.  However, I think it's time to stop these night feedings/night wakings.  I know that we're guilty of going to her too quickly when she wakes at night (when she's just fussing).  However, now I worry about her falling and hitting her head, etc. when she's crawling and climbing around in her crib (which she's done a few times).  So, we rush to her which I'm sure is enabling the wakings.  Also, we're trying to work on this hand holding business, but again am not quite sure how to go about it.  Anyhow, here is our routine:

6:30-7:00am wake and breastfeed.
8:30 - breakfast
9-10am -nap for usually 1 hour 15 min.
11am - breastfeed
12:30 - lunch
1:30-2pm - Nap (sometimes 1 hour 15 min, sometimes only 35-45 minutes if she slept longer in the am.  If she only sleeps for 35-45 min. I move her bedtime up to 6ish, but then she almost always wakes within 1 hour of going to bed)
3ish - breastfeed
5:00pm - supper
6:30 -7 - bedtime.  Sometimes she'll nurse before bed, other times she won't if still full from supper.  If she doesn't nurse, she'll usually wake at 10 or 11 to eat.  Then again around 3.  If she does nurse before bed, she'll usually wake at 12ish.  Then is mostly good until the am.  Sometimes she'll wake at 4 or 5.  It all over the place.  Any suggestions on how to eliminate these night wakings??  (P.S. total nap time during the day is usually 2 - 2.5 hours.  She seems well rested with this amount of sleep.  She wakes up happy and isn't cranky.  She goes down easily for naps and bedtime).

Offline shelliz

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Re: This has been going on too long!!
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2006, 23:35:17 pm »
Hi there!

   First of all, I want to say that I know it has become and issue....but that is the SWEETEST thing that she wants to hold your hand while she falls asleep. That brought a sweet tear to my eye!

 To me...her schedule looks good. I have almost the identical schedule for my 10 month old. I try to never give Jessica her dinner later than 4:30 b/c I have the same problem w/ her not wanting much milk during her last BF. I usually do her dinner at 4:00 and then I will give a small snack (maybe) at 5:00.
   For me...when mine wakes up w/in 30 minutes to an hour after I have put her down for the night she is usually overtired usually from a shortened nap, etc.
  If you do want to stop the overnight feedings it will just take you setting aside a "start" date and going for it! Coincidentally...our first night was LAST night! She will wake and stand or sit (usually b/w 4:00 and 5:30 am) and I just went in and laid her back down and pat her bottom for a bit and walked out. If she began crying again (really crying...not mantra) I would wait about 30 seconds and go back in and do it all over again. Last night I did it from 5:30 a.m  until 7:00 am (which was the time in which I said I would get her up and feed her).  It was a long time...but I know from going through pu/pd...that things will only get easier w/ a week under our belt!


Does your lo have a lovey?  Jessica has a little square lovey that has a soft chennille on one side and satin on the other. Maybe something really soft that she can put up to her face could eventually replace your sweet hand!

I think that is soooo sweet (I know, I know....it is an issue you are trying to resolve, but really it is sweet!)j

HTH some!
  ;)
Shelby


Offline Lilasmom

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Re: This has been going on too long!!
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2006, 00:20:54 am »
Hi Shelby!!
Thanks for the quick reply.  It is quite cute when DD holds my hand when she falls asleep.  I lay her down, she rolls on her side and takes my hands and kind of rubs it as she drifts off to sleep.  It melted me for the longest time (in part too because she's become so busy that she doesn't have time to cuddle anymore, so I took what I could get  ;)).  I can usually leave the room within 30 seconds to 1 minute of her closing her eyes, so I go back and forth on whether I'm a prop or not.  But I guess the real goal would be to be able to lay her down and leave straight away and she'd still go to sleep.  That's a great idea about feeding her her supper earlier.  I don't know why I didn't think about it before.  I will definelty start trying that.  I think you're right about the 30min-1 hour wakings after being put down to bed being because of being overtired.  It most always happens if she's had a short nap in the afternoon.  However, an earlier bedtime doesn't seem to help.  Also, I've found that if she sleeps any longer than 1 hour 15 minutes in the morning (even 15 minutes more), she most always has a short nap in the afternoon (which is what happened today).  So, perhaps I should start waking her at the 1 hour 15 minute mark??  She doesn't have a lovey.  I tried giving her a soft chenille stuffed kitten to hug, but I think she thought I wanted her to play with it  :-\.  She just flung it around until I took it away.  In terms of the night feeds, I didn't know how to go about it.  Do it cold turkey, or gradually wean them out???

Offline shelliz

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Re: This has been going on too long!!
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2006, 01:30:10 am »
Lila's Mom...

   Well... If it was only one night feed that you are giving her then I would choose a night to begin and cut it out "cold turkey". Since you are usually giving Lila more than one feed I would try to get rid of the earlier wakings/feeding first. Usually the waking closest to "normal wake-up" time is the hardest BF/waking to get rid of! 
 
If you know can keep a log of what time she wakes each and every night for a week you will be able to tell if there is any pattern what-so-ever. If you find she is waking at midnight every night you could try doing your version of pu/pd or even try wake-to-sleep to break the pattern. Have you ever tried that?

 Once you pick the night you will start just stick to your guns. If you work then it would be good to choose Friday night that way you at least have two nights to be really consistant.  For getting rid of the first feeding pick a time that you know you won't feed her until (ex: she wakes usually around midnight but tonight you won't feed her until 3:00 am). 

  On another note..I was given the advice to give  more protein during breakfast or lunch and give her more carbs (ie: potatoes, noodles, breads)  at her dinner time feeding. This will help her to feel fuller longer during the night.

A bunch of mom's on the site do limit their lo's morning nap just b/c of the same thing you are going through!  It is said that the morning nap is actually an extension of night time sleep. Many times our babies will begin waking earlier and earlier b/c they can "catch up" during their morning nap. So...limiting the am nap may help in several ways. It is worth a shot...huh?

I am sorry that my thoughts are so scattered. If you get a chance to look at any of the other night waking threads you may find some excellent advice on there as well! I know you can do it! The key is to be consistant and "start as you mean to go on!"

If you have any other questions...I would be more than happy to share with you how things worked for us. Like I said earlier...I am working on getting rid of Jessica's last night BF.  I know that I am in for at least a week of sleepless nights ::)  but I know she can do it! I know she doesn't need those night feeds and she is just waking from habit.

Good luck and come back w/ any questions!

 :-* Shelby


Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: This has been going on too long!!
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2006, 17:24:08 pm »
You've already gotten great advice from Shelby, but I just wanted to add that perhaps trying a blanket as a lovey instead of a stuffed animal might help. Has she been reaching any milestones lately, like crawling? Or getting close?

Also, you might check out this sticky
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=46907.0
about getting rid of night feeds. Cold turkey is an option but it sounds like your DD has a strong personality so she might not do well with cold turkey. Just an alternative - you will know what will work best!
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: This has been going on too long!!
« Reply #5 on: August 22, 2006, 20:33:51 pm »
I'm going to lock this thread for now, as there is a duplicate thread in the PU/PD forum where members have already posted advice. I included a link below.

The reason I'm doing this is that we try to keep people posting a particular question only once in the Sleep forums. This prevents the advice from getting 'split', repeated, or worse, you getting conflicting advice. We've found it's better to keep it to one thread, as people can see what others have written and can either expand on that, or add their own experience. Also it helps to keep the strain down on the server, especially as our Sleep boards are so busy.  :)



https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=69546.msg536311#msg536311

Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o