13 month old still not sleeping through!!!

[Malin]

Our 13 month old is still not sleeping through the night and since she was born she only has done so a handful of times.  I have now since four weeks been back at work and I'm starting to take strain and it is also starting to affect our marriage and we feel we can't enjoy our daughter the way we should.

We put her to bed at seven with a 7oz bottle of formula and she falls asleep by herself after bath and story.  In an ideal world she would sleep to 5ish when we give her a 7oz bottle of cows milk she'll then go back to sleep until 7.00 - 7.30am.  But it is after midnight the night wakings start and the times vary every night, sometimes we leave her to cry it out but after an hour of that I usually give in and pick her up as I get stressed as I know that I have to get up at 6am to get ready for work.  And if I do manage to get her to sleep I can't get to sleep myself!

She goes to nursery during the day and the reports we're getting is that she's loving it and that she eats well.

Not sure what we should do and we are in need of some urgent advice as I think I'm about to lose the plot!!!

[Colin Macs Mom]

Just popping this over to toddler sleeping...

[andibig]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
would it be possible to see her routine. could possibly be overtiredness causing the night wkings even though shes been like this since birth. there are various methods you can try but personally i'm not a fan of letting them cry it out.
i think she needs a consistent approach to dealing with night wakings (imho) as you say you let her cry it out and then go in after an hour and pick her up. maybe shes learnt that if she cries long enough you will come to her.
i totally understand you are getting stressed as i work shifts and you pray that they sleep well .
hope to hear from you soon
andrea

[Malin]

Well, it is a bit tricky to tell you what her routine is like as she goes to nursery Mon - Fri 8am-5pm.  They give me a report every day and it seems like she has her naps different times each day, sometimes one am and one pm or sometimes one nap after lunch.  She has dinner at 4pm at nursery but I discovered today that dinner is actually only something light so when we got home I gave her some pasta and sauce and she was so hungry, so perhaps she has been waking up because she's hungry!  Gosh, now I really feel like an awful mom! 

Although I do agree with you that we have to be more consistent in dealing with her when she wakes up at night and not give her mixed signals.  I was even thinking of putting her in bed with us tonight when she wakes up as both my husband and I really need to get some sleep instead of running back and forth to her room, but I don't know if by putting her in bed with us will cause more problems later on.  Would love to hear your thoughts...

[lucmom]

HI -- hang in there!  I think a lot of us are going through similar issue with this age child (I was just searching the board for help on random early wakings).  Regarding the taking your LO to bed, remember what Tracy says..."start as you mean to go on."  There's a great summary of approaches here at this site:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Whatever you choose, I agree with Sasha's mummy that you've got to be consistent.  It's so hard when you're sleep deprived, isn't it?!  One thing that helped me was to review the plan with my husband before going to sleep.  We'd remind ourselves what we would do if there was a waking, and then if it happened, it helped us be strong with whatever it was that we were going to do.  I've found that if I just react when I'm tired, I almost always do some accidental parenting thing, so thinking it out ahead of time while I was still awake has been really helpful.

Also, when our LO was transitioning to one nap, we found that it really affected the night sleep, and he had previously done so, so with yours who has struggled with that since birth, it might be very confusing for her to have different wake and nap times each day.  When they transition, they sometimes do need two naps depending on when they wake up, but maybe you can log her sleep (bedtime, wakings, and morning wake time) and compare that to the nap times at her nursery and see if there is a pattern.   Keep us posted!

[andibig]

grt ideas from lucsmum . is it possible (even though shes transitioning naps!!) to get the nursery to have her nap at around the same times everyday. the trouble is that you have no control over her naps whilst at nursery. i agree a sleep log is a grt idea esp if the nursery can tell you what times she went down and for how long so you can maybe adjust bedtimes.

. She has dinner at 4pm at nursery but I discovered today that dinner is actually only something light so when we got home I gave her some pasta and sauce and she was so hungry, so perhaps she has been waking up because she's hungry! Gosh, now I really feel like an awful mom!

LOL good idea to treat her dinner at the nursery as a snack so she has dinner at home.

i know its tempting to take her back into bed and at 2am its hards to think straight!!!!! when dd has a bad night i'm soooooooo tempted but then i know i would have to carry on doing it.it really depends if you are happy to carry on doing it for months to come.