WO/WI and nightmares???

[Paulsmama]

We have had 2 nights of WO/WI with DS who is almost 18 mos.  Before that he was going to sleep on his own but with me in the room.  To my surprise this has so far turned out to be just WO as DS has not cried and has fallen asleep without me in the room!  However, both nights he has been crying/screaming at about 5 hrs after falling asleep (I don't really know exactly when he falls asleep since I'm not in the room, but I am outside the door).  Could this be nightmares?  Before the WO he was sleeping through although he has been sick with a cold twice in the past month (I waited a couple of days since he's been better to start WO/WI).  Bedtime is around 7 and he usually falls asleep around 7:30 or so.

The first night I thought that DH woke him up since he woke me up using his electric razor in the bathroom with the door wide open.  At about 12:30 am DS called out a few times then started crying, when I got there he was crying lying down, I put my hand on his back and he sat up for about 30 sec then laid down again and I left the room.  He was quiet after that, cried out once at 3:30 (I didn't have to go in) and woke for the day at 6:30 am.

Last night around 12:40 am DS started screaming out of nowhere.  When I got to his room he was standing up, he grabbed me and would not let go for about a minute.  Finally I told him it was time to sleep and laid him down, when I went to leave the room he started howling so I went back, laid him down again, and sat down on the daybed in his room.  I guess I should I have just walked out again but I wasn't really "with it" at that point and I hadn't heard him scream like that in a long time.  It took DS a while (10-20 min??) to fall back asleep during which time I noticed he was also pretty gassy.  He then woke at 5:30 am but tried to go back to sleep or dozed off and on until about 6:20 am.

I'm planning to stick with the WO/WI but if he is having nightmares should I stay with him longer or just walk out?  I thought I read somewhere that someone else's LO had nightmares about 5 hrs after going to bed??? Can you do WTS or something else for that?  Do you think it is connected with the WO/WI or just coincidence?  In addition to his recent illnesses there is a lot of activity in the house as we have been setting up for the new baby's arrival, but DS doesn't seem out of sorts during the day.

Sorry for all of the questions, this is just very different from what I anticipated and has thrown me for a loop.

DS's usual routine:

6/6:30 wake
12ish nap for ~2.5 hrs
7ish bedtime

Both times when he was sick and a couple days afterwards he'd occasionally take a long time to fall asleep (8/8:30) and/or wake early 5/5:30, then take a 3-3.5 hr nap.

Any thoughts/advice would be very much appreciated.

[Florencia]

I don't think there's a connection with the Wi/wo since he's not distressed by it. The wonders of wi/wo is that you can use it for bedtime or night wakings as well. I think you've handled both right and if something inside your heart tells you to stay in the room, by all means. Mommy instinct knows best.

I'd tend to think more about the gassiness having to do with the wakings. You mention he was sick not so long ago... did he took antibiotics? sometimes they kill the instestinal flora and then, they get a small bug while it recovers. HAve you noticed runny diapers? if so, increase his intake of yoghurt (lacto baciles help rebuild intestinal flora) or probiotics if your ped ok's them.

If you think the gassiness is the thing, try massaging him before bed on a C way trhougout his belly. This should help him expell the gasses before going down.

Other than that, his schedule seems pretty good to me and nothing to worry about. Just keep consistant at the wi/wo, and if he needs extra reassurance (hey, gas pain is AWFUL) give it to him.

Good luck!

[Paulsmama]

Thanks so much for the quick response.  I'll watch the gas -- he just had two massive poops this morning so it could be that last night was due to a stomachache.  It would be nice if he could talk so he could tell me!  During DS's illness he did not get antibiotics but did get a decongestant before bed so he could breathe -- I can no longer hold him until his nose clears.  He's been off the meds for several days, though.

[Samuel's Mom]

Hi  there,
Regarding nightmares - my son has had nightmares I think nightly since he was quite little and at first I always thought he was hungry.  He is now just over two, but did not sleep through consistently until around 20 months of age.  He would go down to sleep very well, but always between 12 and 3 he would wake up crying.  When he would wake up, it would either be hysterical crying or wimpering turning into crying.  We just kept feeding him up until around 18 months when he started talking good.  He started saying things like 'Sam fall', "no swing Mama"....things that were out of the blue when he woke up.  At 20 months I finally was fed up with the night feedings and stopped cold turkey (not doing WI/WO but rather I just stayed in the room to watch and stepped in if he got really upset).  Within 3 days he stopped asking for milk....but to this day he still wakes up at that time of night, sometimes a wimper and goes back to sleep, other days he is much more upset and I go in.  All he needs is a reassurance, 'it's okay, go back to sleep' and I turn his ocean wonders on and he goes right back to sleep.  So nightmares may also be bugging your little one, although the gas definitely would also make him wake up unhappy.

I hope this helps.  It is great when they start talking!!
Nicole

[imsmum]

Hi Cynthia--I think I posted about Margot having nightmares at the 5 hour mark after we came back from vacation.  She still gets nightmares most nights but they are now a little later in the night.  I try to get in there pretty quickly and quietly and lay my hand on her before she becomes completely awake and I will stay there a bit to make sure she goes off to sleep again.  I figure it's OK because she's not really awake and doesn't consciously know that I'm there.

[Paulsmama]

Thanks for the info, after the first 2 nights he started sleeping through again -- sometimes I hear him moan or mumble a bit sometime around 12:30-1 -- but I haven't had to go in (knock wood). 

We are still struggling with sporadic wake times, anywhere from 5 am to 6:30 am.  When he wakes before 5:45 he is definitely still tired and will try to go back to sleep but just can't seem to.  We don't start our day until 6:20 in any event.  I try to keep naptime as close to noon as possible but it can start anywhere from 11:30-12:15 due to the different wakeups; I try to keep bedtime close to 7, although I'd like to start moving this later gradually for the time change.  Unfortunately we seem to be in a cycle where he'll have a short night (9-10 hrs) and ok nap (2-2.5 hrs), then a long night (~11 hrs) and long nap (3+ hrs) to make up for it, then another short night, etc.  Do you think I should limit his naps to 2.5 hrs?  It is like he is almost two different people depending on when he woke up.  (And DH is like two different people depending on how early DS starts shouting in the am!)

[imsmum]

Margot has a similar erratic pattern except it is usually a night w/u instead of an early waking.  Moving Margot's nap earlier seems to help--at least she gets 2 decent nights' sleep before she has her "bad" night, but it's not something she'll do on a consistent basis.  It does help keep her nap interfering with a normal bedtime.  It sounds like your doing that already though, at least on the days following a short night.  Have you tried keeping the nap somewhat earlier even on the days after a good night's sleep.  An extra day of doing that seems to help Margot sleep better that night too.

If you come up with anything, keep us posted!