new mom to E.A.S.Y. with questions! we are a bit confused?

[dreamgirl]

hi everyone- we are new to EASY and are still reading Tracy's book (her third one) and i have a few questions... LO 14 weeks) (had been sleeping on me for 12 weeks and we've spent the last 2 trying to get him to sleep in his pack and play... we have a few EASY questions.... (when he slept on me he would sleep 3 naps (2 hours long) and then 9pm-4am -- since we have started EASY he is up 3 times a night and will only sleep 3 - 30 minute naps if that... we're desperate for any help!

So, LO has only been sleeping 30-40 minutes at naps.. we are working on getting him through the next sleep cycle with shh/pat -- he was responding great to it but has been resisting it a bit more the last few days - could i be missing his cues and getting him down a bit too late?he also went to sleep awake at nighttime just fine but now he fusses a bit.. 

when i put him down and use shh/pat -- i should continue this for 20 minutes to make sure he is in a deep sleep before stopping to help keep him asleep?  If he isn't fussing do i still continue shh/pat? I know Tracy says it will, but how shh/pat help him learn to put himself to sleep?

when he takes these 30 minute naps it obviously throws off the routine (for example if eats at 745am and he goes down at 9 and sleeps until 930 instead of 11 he is awake for too long until the next feed right? - he should only been awake 1- 1.5 hours) so when he takes a 30 minute nap, should i feed him when he wakes (even though he ate an hour and a half before?) or should i keep him awake until the next feed and then lay him down? which would mess up EASY??  sorry if that sounds confusing!

thanks in advance
dreamgirl 

[Kimberly®]

Can you send me an outline of your day? your wind down's, what activity you do?

[dreamgirl]

Karita-

It seems that every day is different, but I will mark down today to show you... (i know it sounds a bit confusing so bear with me..)

so far we went to bed last night at 7:50 (which is late for us -- its usally 7-730) then were up at 3:30 to eat, 5am to eat -up at 6am, i gave him the paci and he went back to sleep until 7 (which is HUGE because I've never gotten that last hour from 6-7 from him!)

he ate at 730am and i tried to get him down for his first nap around 7:50 (He had been awake for an hour -i think it may have been too early now that i am writing this, but he was showing all his sleep cues, rubbing his eyes, pink eyes, fussy)

as for our wind down - we usually go into our bedroom, (dark) sing a few songs, swaddle, and shh/pat --he was great with it for a week or so but all of a sudden he FIGHTS FIGHTS FIGHTS as soon as we go into the room to get swaddled... as soon as i put him down he screams... i tried for 30 minutes and he still didnt sleep.. i took him out of the room and tried again at 9 - he fussed and fussed and finally went to sleep at 9:03- i did shh/pat until 9:15... its 9:30 now... we'll keep you posted!!! (i know that 2 hours is too long for him to be awake but he was NOT having sleep - i am assuming he was really overtired by that point..)

how long should you try to get them to sleep before taking them out to retry later?

[dreamgirl]

whew- its 8pm and i finally have a chance to sit down! - today was a bit overwhelming - we have LO's baptism tomorrow so our relatives are in town .. but this was our day (we have NEVER had a day so well!!) -despite the short naps, and naps not in the bassinet .... thats where i really need the most help!

E 5am - back to sleep until 7am (as noted before, has NEVER done that either!)
A 7:00-7:30
E 7:30-7:40
S 7:40-8:10 tried to get DS down but he SCREAMED until he was way too worked up. removed him from our room for a break. tried again at 9am - slept 9am-10:15am
E 10:30-10:40
A 10:40-11:15
S 11:15-11:45 (in the stroller while we were out - he was then awake until next feed)
E 1:30 -1:40
A 1:40-2:15
S 2:15-3:00 (in the car - which is unusual for him, he HATES the car!)
E 4:30-4:40
A 4:40-5:15
S 5:20-6:00 (on me, we were visiting family - exactly what i'm trying to NOT have him do - sleep on me!!) - stayed awake until next feeding
E 7:30 -7:40
A -wind down before bed (jammies, baby massage, quiet music, nurse, swaddle, lay down in bassinet
S - not a peep!! layed him down and he was out in 2 minutes!!!!!!


so what do i do if LO wakes up after 30 minutes and its an hour or more before his next feeding -- do we just play and stay awake until then or do i try to get him back down shortly after that catnap?

also, this morning when i layed him down and he slept for that hour in his bassinet - i shh/pat him for 15 minutes-- i am wondering if needs it that long -- i think ive usually stopped after 10 minutes... maybe those extra minutes are just enough? hmmm...

what do you think?! -- we'll see how tomorrow goes...

Thanks for looking at my posts... i really appreciate it!

[Kimberly®]

It looks like you have the makings of a great routine. I know its hard especially at the start. Tomorrow will be harder for you because of the babtism, start fresh on Monday when you can stay home. Be prepared to stay home for a week or 2 untill you get this really set, its easier on you both that way.

If your LO wakes early try getting him back to sleep, if he wont then do quiet A time befor the feed, feed as usual and then a short A time to seperate eating and sleeping.

Pat/shhh works better if you stay 15-20 minutes because you can help your LO through the jolts. As he gets older and better at self soothing you can slowly decrease the time untill you no longer need to do it. I remember doing it for 20 minutes and having to redue it 2-3 times before DD would sleep. Its a lot of work but its worth it.

A big tip is to move bedtime to 7pm rather then 8 as then you wont have an overtired LO and he should hopefully go down easier for you.

Sleeping in the bassinet takes time and consistency Thats why I suggest staying home for a while so that all naps are there, and when the move happends, in his crib. Starting now will be a lot easier then waiting untill later.

enjoy the babtism tomorrow

HTH

[dreamgirl]

Hey Kimberly-

Thanks so much for your reply.. I have a few more quick questions...

1) will he eventually learn to sleep longer the older he gets? (he has been sleeping for 30-45 or sometimes an hour..) or is due to not being able to get himself back to sleep ...

2) so if he wakes early from his nap and wont go back - even if its 1.5 hours before we should still do something quiet, wait until his feed, and then lay him down again? (making sure he doesnt fall asleep eating -which he never does) -but doesnt that mess up the E.A.S. routine?

3) i am a nanny and work 5 days a week at the home of the family i work for so i'm not at our house during the week.   Since I can't be home - do you think will it still be effective to do this work for the next 2 weeks since its the place where we stay from 8am-4pm 5 days a week? -that is where the majority of his naps are anyways.. (we have a pack n play here where he sleeps and a pack n play there where he sleeps) my husband will be with me to help take care of the little boy while i do the nap routine with LO

4) sometimes- like this morning he will wake, eat an hour later (since that was 3 hours since his last feed), and then be ready for bed again -- that messes up the E.A.S structure... how do you make sure to stay in that order? (for example, he ate at 630- went down for a nap from 7-8am was up until 915 when he ate again and went back to sleep at 940 and is still sleeping now at 1030 -- so his day has been wake up, E.A (for a short time) S. A. E. S.  what should we have done differently?  (since he at at 930 and is still sleeping he should be due to eat around 1230 - but will be exhausted by then, how do you get back on track?) -- when he wakes up, is he supposed to eat right away when E.A.S. routine is working correctly? so when he wakes up it is usually and hour and 15 minutes until he needs to go down again.. -- I just find it hard because he has seems to mess up the E and S time spacing!!!

any help would be great!!

thanks Kimberly!

[Kimberly®]

1) Yes and no. The 30-45 minute sleep cycle is normal, with your help he will learn to resettle when he wakes. All people go through stages of sleep, when we enter light sleep we can get ourselves back to sleep, thats what you are trying to teach him. It takes time but it can be done.

2)It does yes, try resettleing first, but some LO's do ok on small naps. My DD was the queen of short naps untill about 6 months. Be consistent and change will come.

3) That sounds like a good plan. Just be consistent with the routine on the weekend and it should balence out well for you.

4) Thats a tricky one isn't it. I found with my LO I sometimes had the EA reversed as long as your LO goes down awake you can even just use a diaper change as A time after a feed to seperate it. Its a matter of finding what works for your LO. It sounds like you are on the right track. Try feeding when he wakes but if he wont then keep trying untill he does. Thats what we did anyway for DD and it seemed to work. Consistency is the importent thing. Just be consitstent and it'll all work out.

We also wrote out her routine for a good month so we could see the improvments as they happend. Because sometimes its the small victories they don't always get noticed. If you write down your day its easier to see where you have been, where you are, and where you are going.

HTH 

[dreamgirl]

Kimberly!!

You have given me so much hope -- thank you so much for all your posts and advice... it is so reassuring to feel like we are getting somewhere even though it isn't 'by the book' -- hopefully we'll get there... it seems our routine has been eat- up for an hour- sleep for anywhere between 30 mintues-1.5 hours! - hopefully things will fall into place shortly and we'll end up on the E.A.S.Y. routine!

thanks again... im sure i'll be back with 100 more questions!

[Kimberly®]

I'm glade I could help. Keep faith you will do it. Keep us posted ok Ask whatever you like and I shall do what I can to help you