Please help - lots of questions....(very long - sorry)

[Layla]

Hi, I have a 4month old baby girl and I am not sure that our day is what it should really be at her age...
Its not the same everyday due to naps being short but it goes more or less like this:

E 6.30am
A 6.40am
S 7.40-8.40 (just 1 hour sleep). Once did 1/5 hrs!
E 9.00am
A 9.10am
S 10 (short catnap, 45mins). Try my hardest to extend but no luck so far!
E 11am
A until noon
S 12pm-12.45 (again catnap). Try to extend but no luck. Will p/u and she will show tired signs within 15mins so again back to bed...sometimes takes another catnap.
E 2pm
A 2.10-3.30pm
S 3.30-4ish (yet another catnap)
E 4.30
Bath 5.30
Bed 6pm

Wakes up again after45 mins and I sh/pat her which puts her down for another 50 mins or so. Then again wakes up and then I feed her (treat it as cluster feeding???) then sleeps till 11.30 or so then we feed, then awake at 4ish (feed again), awake at 5.30 (not sure what is going on here??? personally I am pretty tired by that time cause I have to wake up for dd1 at 6am). So feed again at 5.30 to get some more sleep out of her, then she finally wakes up at 6.30 to start the day! 

Ok, I obviously have alot of issues here, main one being that she does not seem to nap very well at all throughout the day and nights are...well, I think just about everyone else's baby seems to sleep through the night but mine!!! I breastfeed on one side (sometimes two). She is not interested in the other side most of the time. The feeds are about 10 mins long (but was told not to worry cause apparently they get very efficient by that age). She goes to sleep on her own. The routine is after activity (which as you can see she does not stay up too long at all), I take her to room, close the curtains (pretty dark in there), quick BF (to get her drowsy) and then placed in cot awake. I am not sure if it is the quick BF doing damage (or maybe I am in total denial) but I don;t have time to rock her, etc cause I have to hurry back to my other dd (who by this stage is banging on the door, wanting me to come out and play)....so the quick BF does the job, gets her drowsy and then she falls asleep within about 10 mins. Sometimes cries (mantra cry) but usually talks and then asllep. So I know she knows how to fall asleep, why is she then having trouble re-entering sleep all times but the morning nap???

My other daughter's naps did not regulate until about 5-6 months so is that it - should I just wait or does increasing A time then increase S time (cause they are more tired)? I just don't want to get her overtired cause she then has a real hard time falling asleep and needs lots of shh/pat to get there.

Should I introduce a bottle before bedtime to get her more full? The thing is, I really didn't want to give her formula at this stage (at least until she is 6 months, I guess) and I've tried to express a few times and because I am in such a hurry all the time, I don't get much out. She has lots of wet nappies and does one good poo a day. We are due for a check up in 2 days so I would be interested to see if she's in the correct percentile for weight, etc... She puts on weight for sure though I am not sure if its enough...

Finally I wanted to know if her sleeping in our room has anything to do with poor night sleep. I have a separate room for her but it is right opposite dd1's room and because dd2 is such a poor sleeper, she constantly wakes the other one up and then dd1 is cranky all day. So I bought a portacot and have her sleeping in our room at night. Does she know that we are there (me, mainly)? and thats why she wakes up so often? I deffinately want her to sleep in her own room eventually (dd1 was in her own room by 9 weeks but is a completely different baby  ).

Ok, not sure if there are things I should have covered which I didn;t but just want to know if anyone can input on the crazy days we go through. 
Thank you in advance
Layla

[estherofi20]

Hi there, from what i see on your routine, you are feeding her every 2.5 to 3 hrs, which is too often for a 4MO, IMHO i think you should start the transition to a 4 hr EASY, and i do believe she will even nap better, here is the link: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63161.0

HTH

[HeatherC]

I agree that her feedings should be further spaced now.  Also, could you consider that even just a light feed before her nap might be creating some confusion.  I just wonder if even though she isn't feeding to sleep, she still looks for the feed to get her drowsy again when she wakes during sleep transition.
I think the reason she sleeps longer for the morning nap is that it's like an extention of the night sleep where their bodies are regulated to sleep longer stretches.  I think you might find that a more proper feeding routine for her age would promote better activity time and sleep. 

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} and best wishes!

[* Paula *]

I agree with PP - you will find that switching to the 4 hour EASY, will increase her milk intake, and will also in the long run increase her nap times as she will be extending her A time.

I too wonder if the light feed is causing her some confusion.

I would definitely suggest trying to switch to the 4 hour EASy, cutting the light feed out and and seeing how you get on.

Good Luck - keep us posted

[Layla]

I am having a really hard time increasing her A time. I had a look at the link and tried to follow what it suggested (i know its only day1) but she was a mess by the end of the day and screamed harder than she had screamed for a very long time. She was absolutely exhausted because at every awakening, I had tried to keep her awake longer than she usually does stay awake for....

Also, could you consider that even just a light feed before her nap might be creating some confusion.  I just wonder if even though she isn't feeding to sleep, she still looks for the feed to get her drowsy again when she wakes during sleep transition.

But I don't understand...isn't that then the case for everything you do just before you lay them drowsy but awake (for example, if I was to sing to her to get her drowsy, would she then be waking up during the transition, waiting for a song? ).

[estherofi20]

Hmmm if it was too much Atime adding 30min for her, then you can try 15min every 3 days.

[HeatherC]

But I don't understand...isn't that then the case for everything you do just before you lay them drowsy but awake (for example, if I was to sing to her to get her drowsy, would she then be waking up during the transition, waiting for a song?

Well, I think the drowsy they get from the bf is a little different.  Also, she may not be sleeping well if she's snacking rather than taking full feeds.  This is where a 3.5-4 hr feeding routine would help.
I don't think you should keep her awake longer than she's clearly capapble of.  You know her best.  I think right now you should put her down when tired and tried to break the cycle of overtiredness.  Let her catch up on some sleep and then gradually extend her A time 15 mins at a time.