Support thread for moms of picky eaters

[joaquinsmom]

Hi there, can I join you guys? my son is 2 1/2 and all he will eat is:
- pasta with butter (would eat the butter by itself, but since I won't let him he eats the pasta...)
- chicken soup, but only the one without actual chicken in it
- shredded mozzarella
- white rice
- yogurt (sometimes)
- breakfast cereal (pretty much any type, he shares whatever I'm eating)
- MILK he would drink milk all day, but I've cut it down to 3 8oz bottles a day
- He ate 2 slices of an apple one day...

Meat is out of the question. It's weird because he'll put it in his mouth (after much begging on my part) chew it but he will not swallow it for anything in the world. It's so gross, and makes me so angry, because I'll be all happy that I actually managed to get the tiniest piece of meat into his mouth only to have him spit it all chewed up a minute later...    What is that? a texture thing? I have no clue, and it drives me nuts.

Last night I stayed up until 11 P.M. coating strawberries with chocolate to see if I can get him to eat a little fruit... I'm not very hopeful...

He is so thin, he's at best 25lb. My little girl is 9 months old and already weighs 20lbs!! I can't believe they are almost 2 years apart and only 5 pounds apart 

Any suggestions on how to get him to try meat? or something else with Iron and protein?

[Mom to M&M]

Jennifer, that sounds like quite a lot of milk still - I'd cut him back to 18-20 ounces tops and see if that helps at all. Also, we recently had luck with meatballs (beef ones, Italian style) if I spear pieces on baby forks.

[Katet]

Jennifer, I'd say he is filling up on milk, by volume he is probably getting about 75% of his food capacity in milk. So I can see why he doesn't want to eat anything else KWIM

Aiden just spent some time in Hospital with an asthma attack & I met a Mother there whose son (2.5) had eating problems (mostly allergy & reflux related) anyway without going into it all, she told me the dietician had her putting 4 different coloured foods on the plate & discussing the colours & shapes & not the food... to cut a long story short Aiden has cut back his variety to less than 20 foods & so I have now started doing much the same... every meal I put out 4 foods of different colours & shapes, I say what colours are on your plate & then we all eat & at the end of the meal I take the plate away. I no longer talk about food or encourage or do anything to try & get him to eat. I won't say we have seen great improvement, but he hasn't once said "I don't like that" & is just leaving what he won't eat on the side of his plate... I make sure 2 things are those he will/has eaten & has eaten them pretty much each time &  rather than serving up uneaten food at another meal I serve up a new selection (more waste, but less anxt).
I have made a menu plan for a "balanced day" & so he gets the plan for the day & honestly that has totally freed me from stressing about what he eats... I thought I was fairly relaxed about it but now I am amazingly so... the plus side is I am also eating better as I put out a bowl of fruit & veg for snacks & we all share & since the boys hardly eat the veg I end up with that.

[Brenda Khoo]

My daughter is 22 months and still wants pretty much only foods the consistency of yogurt or items like sunchips (a type of potato chip).  She refuses to even try most 'people' food (anything not super smooth or highly salty and fattening) and most days can only be counted on to eat one decent meal.       Even more frustrating is the fact that she wakes up earlier and earlier (today it was 6:30  ) after going to bed later and later (last night was 10:30) all the while complaining she is hungry!!!!

[Meg's Mom]

Brenda, we can empathize with your frustrations.  There are some great ideas on previous post so read back a few pages.  If you daughter likes sunchips she will probably like veggie bootie (heathly snack).  you say she is complaining she is hungry, what will she eat and maybe we can think of suggestions.  My dd ate that yogurt consistency for a long time too.  Will she eat breads/muffins?  Also have a look at the thread What did you picky toddler eat today for more tips.

As for the early wake ups...a later bed time definately won't help the early rising.  IMO, you should move the bed time up 20 mins every 3 days.  Children who are over tired sleep LESS~!

HTH

[Meg's Mom]

did you all see this thread interesting: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=74497.0

at least it confirms we are not alone!

[joaquinsmom]

thanks Karen and Kate! He does drink too much milk, I had him down to two 8 oz bottles, one in the morning and one at bedtime, but since he is at my mom's all day and she cannot stand to hear him cry, she would always give him a bottle at noon (and not tell me about it  ) so now he's totally used to it. I think I'll try to still give the three bottles but maybe just reduce the amount of each one?

The meatballs could work I think. I guess I can kind of understand him not liking the texture of meat, I really don't like it that much myself...

The strawberries were a big failure... he did not like them at all. Last night I made him some pasta and thought I would throw in some zuccini pieces in there since he used to like them when he was younger, but as soon as he saw me cutting the zuccini he freaked!! He started screaming he didn't want it, to put it away... I told him very calmly that he didn't have to eat it, he could if he wanted to and that it was yummy but it was his decision. He still cried  Then I thought I would try the idea of having him touch the food, with no pressure to eat it, but he freaked out about that too, did not want the zuccini anywhere near him    I ended up eating the whole thing myself, pretendind the whole time that I was so happy he didn't want to eat it because then I could eat it all myself in some lame attempt to get him interested in it... whatever, he did not care one bit.

The color idea sounds interesting, I would love to try it but ds does not understand the concept of "it can be on your plate and all you have to do is put it to the side if you don't want to eat it". He starts screaming if I even put something in a different plate and put it near him... I'm begining to think that he'll eat only pasta with butter for the rest of his life...

[Meg's Mom]

Jennifer, reducing the amount in each bottle should work well...do 1-2 oz in each every 3 days.  He probably won't notice.  That is how i got Meg off her bottles.

It sounds like you really need to a step back and offer him 2-3 foods you know he likes and 1 that is new.  The new food I would keep separate from his other foods...your 1st goal would be to have him let it be on the tray, eventually touch it and hopefully taste it (it will take time and i wouldn't pressure him).  Praise him for even just allowing the new food to be in his presence.

did you read that article, by Dr Sears in the PP it was really interesting!  You may get some tips from it.

[joaquinsmom]

Thanks Michelle. That article really is interesting. I printed it and will give it to my mom to read too. I especially like the idea of the snack tray.

I've been gradually reducing the amount of milk in each bottle and he hasn't complained yet. The other day I also tried getting him to eat breakfast instead of drinking a bottle and he did well. It was only cereal, but it was a change!

Last night I managed to get him to try black beans (I had to bribe him with butter... really how awful!!!  ) and he actually said "I like them!" kind of surprised, it was adorable. He ate maybe 10 beans (yep, I count bites, that's how bad this is) and then he just wouldn't even touch them. Oh well, at least he tried. And I managed to convince him to share a yogurt with me instead of eating cookies (well, he actually just ate the yogurt first and then he had a couple of cookies...).

I'll definitely try some of the suggestions in the article, thanks for that!

[Meg's Mom]

I am glad you found some ideas helpful.  Well done for the beans! 

I have been using the snack tray also.  Megan has been refusing breakfast - it is hit and miss but this has been going on for over a week. Urg this was her best meal...if anyone has ideas please send them my way.  But after she refuses all attempts for a breakfast meal (fruit, cereal or waffle followed by milk...she will of course take the milk) i let her down from her seat and put out the snack tray...she will eat a good variety from the tray over the next hour.  So at least it does work!

[Mom to M&M]

Sounds good with the snack tray. Unfortunately M is too young for that and would just throw the tray! She has lately been refusing meatballs, chicken nuggets and grilled cheese and usually jars as well and only wanting milk, dried fruit and English muffins/Nutrigrain waffles (or fafas as she calls them). But in one success she did finally try and seem to like Annie's Mac n Cheese - had a little last night for dinner and for lunch today. I really hate when she loses the few foods she has and need her eating some protein. Hoping it's partially teeth related as she just finished eye teeth and seems to finally be getting her one-year molars...

[Deb_in_oz]

hi ladies - i found a 6 page handout that i was given by our early childhood centre when i first went to talk about Liv's eating issues. have asked DH to scan it at work so if he remembers I will attach it today and maybe post it separately on the board. it is called "Tucker without tantrums" and has LOADS of good tips and also lots of info to help put their needs into perspective which might help some of us relax a bit if we see in writing that our lo are doing better than you think (it is just the way it is written that it is nice to see from an outside source)

Jennifer - he tried the beans which is awesome and for a small child 10 beans sounds about right. remember it is a filling food, causes gas, is protein and they don't need a ton of protein. trust him. i think he did an awesome job.

Michelle - Liv is not a breakfast eater - she has days here and there where she eats well but 90% of the time she eats a little of her breakfast (today she ate a few spoons of cereal and almost a 1/4 piece of raisin toast), but then about 30 min later she usually starts her snacking stage and i go with the flow and give her healthy foods until she is satisfied. i think the little bit of food ignites her appetite slowly     she usually snacks most of the day and has a good dinner (Alex is the opposite and does a huge breakfast most days and dwindles through the day) - look at what she eats over the whole day and see if she is getting enough food/calories/nutrients. sounds like she is in a similar pattern to Liv with bkfst snacking.

[Melsy]

Deb,

i would love to see that information if you can, that would be great!  I attended a 2hour fussy eaters worshop last night.  It had a child psychologist, a dietician and a feeding/swallowing expert.  it was good - although I was surprised that I was the ONLY one with a two year old!  The others had kids aged 4, 5, and 6 years and one lady with an eleven year old!  Holy Cow, I don't have the energy to do this for another 9 years!!!!  I shall share some of the things that they had to say if anyone is interested, although I think I might make an appointment for some one-on-one with them because it was all so rushed and I didn't really get to ask all the questions I had and because all the other kids were older, it was more geared to them.  Bugger the cost - I just want this fixed!!!!

I shall try to do that on friday, I am about to go to work.  The main message I got out of the seminar though, was CONTROL.  It is mostly all about control.  And attention.  But I shall try and type the notes from that, and if I have any private sessions I shall share that too.

Melissa.

[Meg's Mom]

oh melissa you must, must make time to share

Deb - can't wait to read your doc too.

[joaquinsmom]

Melissa and Deb thank you both so much for any information you can send our way.

They don't need a lot of protein? because I've been so worried that ds gets pretty much all carbs and no protein... maybe I would feel better if I knew exactly what it is that they need most. I know that a balanced diet is the goal, but what exactly would that be? I guess it starts with my own eating habits right? My meals are so NOT balanced... I should really work on that if I want to set a good example I guess.

Thanks again...