Support thread for moms of picky eaters

[Meg's Mom]

I had never thought of letting LO spoon from the jar herself!  (she likes to throw food or just drop from the chair, so naturally i thought jar and danger).  But after reading the posts above, Melissa and Deb i gave DD the jar of yogurt/fruit and she ate is ALL (thanks!)
this was after she refused:
-mac n cheese (her all time new fav but probably cuz i tried to add cut tomatoes - if i try to sneak in food and get caught, she will refuse the rest of the meal even w/o tricks)
-carrots w. ranch
-sweet Potatoes cut into cubes, steamed and then lightly sauteed w/ olive oil and sprinkled w/ Cinnamon sugar (new veg i am trying)
 then offered waffle (normally a fav) and the yogurt.  She only ate the yogurt cuz i let her spoon from the jar.  I am going to try this again tomorrow w/ a veg she likes and see if she will consistently eat the jar veg as she won't let me spoon her feed her most days.

[Meg's Mom]

Okay, i have now read the pp and here are my thoughts:
Melissa- i have been there with the guilt, i thought if i could just find the key or the right recipe then dd would be on the road to eating more variety.  Note: before 9mos she ate everything we put in front of her and lots of it.  About 11mos she started refusing being spoon feed and we had to quickly move to finger food.  That was when the problems started.

our ped's suggestion was to ad pediasure to her daily intake, which i did for a while...what i did was get 17oz containers, fill w/ pediasure and balance w. milk then give after meals.

At 20mos i called our local Early Intervention (They confirmed that she has delays which affected her eating and ablitlies to handle different textures, i felt sooo relived.  It wasn't just me, it was in my head!  Of course i was then upset dd had developmental delays, but at least now we are getting help!

That brings me to what Ginger and Bailey mom were saying:
I guess i knew in my gut that something else was up, i never went with the thinking: "if she is hungry she will eat".  That is not true for a lo w/ texture issues or picky eaters.  DD would always eat tons of the stuff she liked.  IMO, you should offer the food she like along w/ the new or difficult food.  If LO eats both or just one, that is fine.  I always offered a second choice when she doesn't eat dinner and then started offering a snack before bed.  It made me feel better knowing that if she didn't eat dinner, there was always before bed snack and she wasn't going to bed hungry.  I also always made snack items that i knew she liked (health of course).

I found a health recipe for Mini Idaho Potato Zucchini Pancakes, i'll let you know how they are as dd will almost always eat pancakes!
http://www.cooksrecipes.com/sidedish/mini_idaho_potato_zucchini_pancakes_recipe.html
HTH!

[kirsty_167]

Hi.........Id love to join this thread if I may.My son is 13 months old and a very fussy eater.Ive often felt the guilt BUT i have just read all the postings on this thread and now i feel sooooo much better and not alone with this daily dilema at mealtimes. PHEW!! Im sure i was going nutty from guilt of my son not having his meat and vege every dinnertime!!

jakob has silent reflux and has always had an aversion to food.I dont know if it is related but my guess is that in some way it is.

You see Jakob is on a special formula which is actually sweeter than the ussual formula.Not long after he started solids he would only eat certain purees.....sweet vege ones like pumpkin and sweetcorn or kumara etc. The sweeter formula seems to have him prefering sweeter foods? Im sure some may disagree but it makes sense to me.

When it came to try lumpy foods.........it all hit the fan.It took months to get him to even keep anything but puree down.My washing pile was HUGE!! I felt my son would be 5yrs old taking his pureed fruit to school in his lunch box!!

Finally at near 11 months he decided he wanted finger foods..GREAT i thought......alas like so many of you that too has been a nightmare.He started out with great enthusiasm and tried anything happily.I was so excited.I praised him so much and he loved it! Then one day it suddenly all changed just like that!!!

Jakobs eats well as in amounts most days but only certain foods and of course only when he wants to.What he loves one week he may refuse the next.He seems to have week long fascination for a food and want lots of it...then the enxt week throw it at me lol!!

Here is what he will eat...weetbix,vegemite toast,bananas
,fruit sticks,crackers,kiwifruit,mandarins,pears, raisins, sultanas,plain biscuits, sausages,potatoes, pumpkin,cheerios and a few other nibbly bits.

However he refuses all meat (apart from sausages) hates cheese, often wont touch veges any any form and basically leaves me scratching my head wondering what do i try now?? 

I do alot of the things mentioned in other posts and i dont show him im frustrated.But i worry later on nights like tonight when he wont hardly eat anything.(breakfast and lunch arent usually a problem) Dinner just doesnt seem like dinner to me sometimes as he hates meat and veges!! Tonight he nibbled on about 2 mouthfuls of macaroni cheese and then refused it.He took some toast off his dads plate but didnt want anything else. GREAT dinner ...NOT!!! (if i offered him something sweet he would have eaten it but i do not want to encourage his sweet tooth!!!)

He isnt suffering weight wise as he is a big boy and im sure in time all this will resolve itself.he was later than average to achieve milestones and only crawled 2 days after his 1st birthday........obviously he is going to take his time with food too!!

PHEW ....if you have made it this far...THANK YOU and SORRY for ranting.I needed to share this and i am so relieved to have found this thread!! (I only found it by browsing through as I havent got use to the fact my "baby" is now under the toddler section.....my wee boy is growing up!)

Thanks for listening...what a super idea for a thread.Thank you, you ahve made one slowly going insane mother feel slighty more sane

Kirsty

[Deb_in_oz]

welcome Kirsty - i feel for you. a lot of what you write i relate to, but at least i was spared on the reflux.  Liv's food list is similar with several additions that i don't know if you have tried yet (liv is turning 19 mo tomorrow so i am further along than you) - she likes roast chicken most days and oddly smoked salmon is her favourite protein source so i now have 4 sources (baked beans and sausages are the others - she refuses all cheese and eggs).  tonight Dh is making the spinach meatloaf recipe from the what did your toddler eat today thread - will try it tomorrow and see if it goes down well.

dinner tonight for liv ended up as 2-3 forkfuls of white rice and 3/4 of a mandarin and maybe one bite of fish stick (a recent addition that seems to be hit or miss). so don't feel bad. and i ended up giving her an arrowroot biscuit in the car when we picked up dh at the train station just so she woudl not be horribly hungry in the bath - in the end she was miserable and in the bath she was asking to go to bed. we had to start her bottle on the change table because she was so tired and hungry  not too many nights like that but they do suck when they come.

also - liv has NEVER suffered on weight  gains... so whenever i expressed concerns about her feeding (first breast issues, then bottle, then solids) i was dismissed with she is a fat baby she cannot be struggling too badly  i won't go into detail here on how much we struggled and pressured her to eat (guilt guilt guilt go away) - woudl they have been happier if i was casual about it all and she had been a scrawny girl and then i would have been told i was not feeding her enough

i am glad you feel less alone now - feel free to vent anytime - i used to dread mealtimes until i let go of the stress and guilt (see pp where i said about just providing good food, but their decision to eat it... - that was very freeing for me)

[Mom to M&M]

Kirsty - welcome and I know what you mean - Marisa too had reflux and allergies and this definitely contributed to her pickiness/texture issues. It seems a lot of reflux babies have this issue, sadly enough.

I'm feeling quite down lately about the eating stuff - doesn't help that I have a nasty cold right now and feel badly in general! Not sure if Marisa is coming down with my cold, teething or both but she's even pickier than usual - this morning she'd only have 2.5 ounces milk, a few spoonfuls of peach/banana puree, about 3 small bites of toast and a few cheerios. Then she had 2 more ounces milk before her nap so we'll see with lunch.

Michelle - when you introduce a new food do you really only do one at a time for two weeks? My only concern is that way it's SO long between new foods and if DD still rejects it time after time it's a long time before trying a new one... Hmmmm

[kirsty_167]

Hi again.........

I cant say how relieved I am not to be going through this alone.Finding this thread has truly made feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Everywhere i go i have babies around me who "seem" to do it all the way you would think and when you think they would do it.Yes I always knew all babies are different BUT it was others who would comment on my son not doing things.He didnt crawl till he was 1 and the comments id get were hurtful.He is a picky eater and i get comments on that too like...."oh doesnt he just eat what you do? Mine does....blah blah blah!!"    GRRRRRR...........like i dont have enough going on in my head over it without others making it worse!!!

I know there is nothing wrong with Jakob other than his reflux.I know he will one day eat more regular food but i do wish other people would keep their opinions to themselves sometimes.Thank goodness i have found you guys.....all supporting each other and providing tips.........Life savers!!!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

I actually forgot that Jakob has added to new foods to his ."I will eat this".... (for now)...list......scrambled eggs and spaghetti.he is slowly adding things but it can take weeks of offering,having it rejected,thrown whatever before he tries it. I guess we keep plodding on and now try and get him to try meat.HMMM...should be interesting.

Well better go sort out what excatly i am going to give him tonight.
Take care all
Kirsty

[beachbum]

HI,

I am new to this but had to join this discussion as it really is a huge problem for me. My daughter is 21 months old and eats I think too little. She is by no means underweight, and I do still give her growing up milk to cover my bases for vitamins, minerals etc. The only veg and fruit she will eat is puree. She loves marmite and cheese, yogurt... will eat chicken pieces, chips, lamb, beef even pork ..... when she feels like it. I don't know If I am sabotaging her eating with the milk she drinks. She loves it so much and can drink up to 1 litre a day.
I even made macaroni cheese for her for dinner last night - apparently even the fussiest are supposed to like it.... wouldn't even taste it!!!

[Carys' mom]

beachbum,

I can totally relate. My 19 mo dd also loves milk, and I wonder if that is getting in the way of the solids. She also will only eat pureed fruits (no veggies anymore  ). On top of that, we are vegetarians, so she doesn't eat meat. We did however give her fish last night, and she tried two little pieces, which is a victory for us. She hardly ever will try new things. She'll pick it up, look at it, then put it back on the plate.  It's frustrating. Looking at what she will eat, it seems that it either has to be smooth (like the fruit puree or yogurt), or crunchy like crackers, Cheerios, etc. She won't do anything in between like fruit pieces, etc.

By the way, we tried mac n cheese with our dd too, and she wouldn't taste it either!

Hang in there...

[Mom to M&M]

Things are getting even rougher here - Marisa is even refusing grilled cheese lately and that was at least something I could count on before... What do you guys do when your DD eats a little bit of dinner and then just wants something else? In our case, I usually offer two items plus a puree. So tonight she had half a jar of chicken/veggies and about 3/4 of a chicken nugget and refused the mac n cheese. Then she just started screaming for apple bites (the Gerber freeze dried ones) and pointing where she knows they are. At this point I usually give them to her but is that just making the problem worse? At least they are healthy but still...

[kirsty_167]

HI

I do the same with jakob, offering puree. I offer the puree during or after his finger foods.I do this when i know he is in a difficult mood and eating dinner isnt high on his "i want to do" list. This way i know that if he refuses the finger foods or only has a mouthful, at least he has had some nutrition from the puree.If he at least tries the finger foods i praise him big and then when he is done with it (ie chucks it on the floor and says "NO") I praise him again for trying it and then give him something he likes again (ie cracker or banana bit etc or if he does realy wel he gets a plain biscuit)

Im just going to keep offering a new food every few weeks and go from there, i guess as long as he eats as balanced diet as i can get then its okay.

Oh yeah last night he ate a mouthful of roast chicken WOOHOO!!! YEAH JAKOB!! (a tiny bit but i dont care!!) I was so happy and gave him huge cuddles.He was proud as punch......he took it from his daddy (refused from me...whats with that? lol) Thas the funny thing he eats plenty of things for his daddy,eats off his plate when he can.....but if i offer him it he refuses..........daddys boy!!!! GRR!!

Take care all
Kirsty

[Meg's Mom]

Karen: sorry Marisa seems to be regressing.  Megan did the same thing for what seemed like forever. 

Michelle - when you introduce a new food do you really only do one at a time for two weeks? My only concern is that way it's SO long between new foods and if DD still rejects it time after time it's a long time before trying a new one... Hmmmm

  Yes and no, let me elaborate...i would offer 1 new food at lunch and a different one at dinner for each category we had trouble w/ (veggies and protein sources).  For example: lunch- PBJ sandwich and a veg.  Dinner- chicken nuggets (Meg used to eat these then regressed) and veg.  first 2 weeks, I got lucky and she started to eat these new foods w/in a week.  But i wanted to make sure it wasn't a fluke so continued to offer.  Turned out the chicken nuggets and 2 veg she still likes, but the PBJ is a no go.  Next 2 week period it was 4 more (2 veg/2 protein) Does that make sense?  I think i read that with the picky eaters you need to offer the difficult food many, many more times then non-picky eaters and it was easier for me to just say xx and yy for 2 weeks.

At this point I usually give them to her but is that just making the problem worse?

  IMO, I don't see anything wrong w/ her asking for what she wants to eat.  As long is it isn't choc cake lol!  I can't wait until megan's verbal skills increase so i can offer her choices.  Have you tried that?  If Marisa is able to point for what she wants.  Ask her before the meal...do you want mac n cheese or grill cheese?  Or show her the food and ask since you offer 2 anyway?

We had therapy yesterday and i asked the OT for suggestions how to offer the new foods.  She had some good advice:
-offer the food, if refused
-offer to let her touch it, poke it, lick it, etc
-let her feed mommy then megan's turn!

I tried this today with Megan and cottage cheese, she refused first bite.  I asked if she wanted to touch it, she nodded and was very excited at this prospect.  She touched it a few times, then put her finger into her mouth to see what it tasted like.  She still refused to eat it, but just getting her to touch it was progress.

Beachbum and Cary's- we had to offer pasta for months and months before dd would eat it.  even now at 24mo some days she refuses.  I do think that more then the recommended allowance of milk can interfere w/ their eating solids.  There is only so much room for calories in their wee tummies.

Kristy - welcome, i can really relate to what you wrote.  Meat?  If you find the magic to get dc to eat that i would love to know!

[Jenn©]

Karen, Charlotte went on a banana strike for a couple of weeks.  After the 3rd time she refused them, I gave her a break from them.  Now she is back to snarffing them.     Grilled cheese with a different cheese maybe?

[Mom to M&M]

I wish Jenn - but she won't even try it to know it's a different cheese.

Thanks Michelle. So you offered two new foods at each meal? Did you offer something you knew/thought she liked along with that? What if she didn't eat any of it?

I wish I could do that with tasting the new food, etc - but Marisa really wouldn't understand that yet. I guess I could offer her choices, but again, I'm not sure she'd understand. What would I do? Show her both of them? What if she doesn't seem to want either? I'm so confused... I did speak with the Ped today - he said to just keep trying for now without making it a battle and we'll see what she weighs and if still an issue at her 15-month visit maybe we'll call EI and/or a speech therapist.

In our case, milk certainly isn't interfering - she only has 12-15 ounces a day!

Great news with the cottage cheese though. May to go Megan!

[Jenn©]

What I have done is show her 2 things and tell her what they are.  Then ask which one she wants.  Sometimes she will touch one, sometimes she just focuses her attention on one vs the other.  Then I honor her "choice".  Not sure if she totally gets it, but at least today she seemed to.  Do the same with clothes and jammies to help reinforce it.     

[Lucysmom]

A little update here:  Made potato pancakes from scratch.  Put in some sweet potato and zucchini along with the normal potato.  They ended up on the floor.  She did not even try them.  Why will she eat the CRAP frozen ones with all the extra salt and fat and she will not eat my yummy ones?  The texture was the same, they smelled good.....  Anyway, I am feeling a bit annoyed about all of the effort I put in considering they ended up on the floor (which had just been cleaned  ). 

I am still not pushing it with the spoon and she is more willing to eat off of the spoon now.  But in terms of finger foods her repertoire is not really increasing. She did put a green bean in her mouth yesterday twice.  She spat it out but at least she ventured to put it in her mouth. 

I am debating whether or not we should go back to the specialist.  Lucy has her 15 month appointment on October 4th so maybe I will bring it up then.  It is nice to know that there are other kids with almost the same exact issues as Lucy in terms of texture, needing control, not having a huge appetite, etc.  So there must be specialists out there who can help. 

I don't think I have thanked Debra for taking the time to post all of that information from those sheets.  So THANK YOU so much for that.  There were some really great tips in there that I have already started implementing. 

It is past my bedtime so I have to get going.  Just needed a good old vent, I think!