Support thread for moms of picky eaters

[Mom to M&M]

Thanks guys - just posted in the other thread.

Beata, I tend to give my DD two real choices as in either grilled cheese or turkey meatball; chicken nugget or pasta, etc. Then I always offer fruit and bread if nothing else.

[emfields]

My 14 month old isn't picky with what she eats, she is picky with how much she eats. She prefers solid foods especially ones she can feed herself but i find it so frustrating that she will only have a few mouths full and thats it! Breakfast is the easiest meal, a weetabix and maybe some toast if she is still hungry but the other meal times are a battlefield. The worst part is cooking something for her to take in two or three spoons and then turn her head away! Fromage Frais are not a problem  for her to eat I must add, lol.
It has been like this for a good few months now, and while i know she is dainty in size I worry that she is hungry or not getting enough in her

How much should she be eating?

[NKmommy]

Hi!  Can I join the club?     Nathan has always been a semi-picky eater, but for the last couple months, things have gone downhill BIG TIME.  We are to the point where he is a basketcase at mealtime.  As soon as he sees me preparing dinner or setting up his highchair, he starts crying and running through the house saying "no food!"  When we all sit down to eat, he will start throwing food.  He will not eat any kind of meat, no cheese, no sandwiches, no veggies, etc.  Sometimes I am so worried about him not eating that I start the game of grabbing different foods from the fridge to try to tempt him. 

For the last few days, I can fit his food from the ENTIRE day on one or two tablespoons.     A meal might consist of a few grains of rice.  IF I offer him cereal or goldfish for a snack, he WILL eat that, but it kills me that his only nutrition for the day is a handful of crummy goldfish, KWIM?  Would you stop offering snacks? 

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies!  I am going to go back through this thread and read-up. 

[Jenn©]

Welcome Sheila!!!!!!  Sorry to see you here, but glad as well.  KWIM?    Charlotte has days where the only dinner she will eat is yogurt and her milk.  Sometimes I flavor that to encourage it.  I also have her on a multivitamin with iron to make mama feel better. 

[Lucysmom]

Hi Everybody -

I need to keep up with this thread a lot better!  Sorry!  I feel a bit responsible for it since I started it.  But I started it because I am clueless about how to get my dd to eat more in terms of quantity and variety so I guess I feel I don't have much to add except hugs and tons of sympathy!!!

Emfields - My thought is that if your dd does eat a variety of foods and is not really super selective in what she eats, then I think you just have to trust her that she knows how much food she needs to eat.  I have heard time and time again from moms of toddlers with "normal" eating habits that their lo's can go days without eating anything substantive and that that is ok.  And I have also read that it is best to look at the child's weekly intake of food as a whole and not just one particular meal or even one particular day.  I hope that makes sense.  My gut feeling is to just avoid creating any meal time strive and when your dd says she is done, tell her you understand she is done eating and end the meal.  I would not make a big deal about it at all.  I have learned that I did a lot of damage to my dd's meal time behaviors because of my attitude about it all.  I was stressed, frustrated, and was not respecting my dd's wishes.  Now that I have become more relaxed for the most part, things have improved.  She is not a great eater by any stretch of the imagination, but the angst I felt and I think she felt about meals has diminished.

Sheila - I am sorry you're having such a rough time right now....That sounds like a really frustrating situation.  How old is your ds?  Do you think that maybe he is ready to eat like a "big boy" at the table in a booster seat?  If there is a negative association with his high chair maybe this will help.  Just a thought.  I  don't know if anything I wrote above in response to Emfields is helpful.  Gosh, I wish I could help more.  I feel for you!  Definitely use this thread to vent, and we will all put our heads together to see if we can help our kiddos eat better.

Update from us:  Lucy has eaten some steamed carrots which is a first BUT they MUST be salted for her to eat them.  She likes salt.     And she likes sweet.  So we have some real healthy eating habits here - NOT!  She is pretty much living off of jarred apples and chicken, soy yogurt to a certain degree, Gerber fruit and cereal bars, freeze dried corn, cheerios, pineapple, peaches, raspberries, chicken nuggets,  & mini potato pancakes.  That is pretty much all she will eat.  Oh, and Life cereal and crackers and graham crackers.  We like carbs, fruit, and salt here pretty much.     She used to have oatmeal cereal mixed with soy milk and fruit puree but that is a big no-no for some reason now.  She did eat some pizza crust last night with a bit of tomato sauce on it so that was a breakthrough (the sauce, not the crust).  She could not have more than that as she is allergic to milk.

Ok, I am just yammering on here, but wanted to reply.  I look forward to hearing from others.  Stay strong moms of picky ones!!!    We'll get through this together!
 

[Meg's Mom]

thanks Michelle. So you offered two new foods at each meal? Did you offer something you knew/thought she liked along with that? What if she didn't eat any of it?

Karen, correct -  I offered 1 new food at lunch and 1 new at dinner (usually different) AND what i know she would like / eat.  I try to give something from each food group at main meals (whole grain, protein, veg & fruit) PLUS the new food.  If she didn't eat the new food, no big deal. 

sorry for the delay i can't figure out why my notifications aren't working! hmmmmm

[Beata]

So, I was thinking today...Cate is still quite picky and I am trying hard (but maybe not hard enough) not to overcompensate with snacks; however, we were at the pool today, and I was watching Cate and she IS gaining weight...so maybe I should not worry too much and just be matter of fact about meal times. Like Micheele does...and if she eats, great, if not, eventually she'll gobble down something.

[Meg's Mom]

yes, beata - it is hard but i think you are right - if she eats the new food great!  If not, i know i have items on her tray she normally likes and that are healthy :-)

[Shayleesmom]

I was almost in tears reading some of your posts as my LO doesn't eat much either.  I was just so relieved to hear others having the same problems as us (not that I want to find joy in others agony, just support). And to top it all off my LO is really skinny.  She is just 13 months and only just weighs 20 lbs now and when she walks around in her diaper I can see all her ribs, it makes me sad    The doctor's not concerned, so I guess I shouldn't be either?
Anyway, I am with you on the Weetabix, she loves this mixed with milk and cinnamon for breakfast, after that meal the rest is a crap shoot of what she will eat.  What she eats one day she won't eat the next and we both end up in tears over it ..her because she is frustrated me because I don't know what else to do.  My husband keeps telling me she will eat when she is hungry but other than the Cheerio staple what else can I do but keep trying.  She tends to eat better if someone else feeds her but this only lasts a couple of bites then it is back to head shaking and food dropping.

[Jenn©]

Hey there Shayleesmom!!!!!  Also check out the "what did your picky toddler eat" thread.  You can get a bunch of ideas there too.  Welcome to our world!!!!  Out of curiosity, is Shaylee a refluxer?  We notice that lots or the picky club is.   

[Lucysmom]

Hi Shayleesmom  -

I am glad you found us!  And yes, I can completely understand feeling happy in a way that others are facing the same situation.  I felt for a long time that I was the only one on this site dealing with this kind of extreme pickiness and then I started noticing others with similar problems.  Thus, this thread and now a place for us all to come out of the closet IYKWIM!!! 

My dd is 16 months and she is just now almost 21 lbs so I think 20 lbs at 13 months sounds good.  Is she really tall?  Because Lucy is 31 inches and about the same weight and she doesn't look skinny.  Maybe you're thinking she looks skinny because you know about her eating issues?  I may be totally off the mark but I just wanted to mention it as Lucy is not much heavier at 3 months older.

We all have more encouragement here than answers/fixes, but I hope you will stick around!  Many hugs to you!

[Deb_in_oz]

Just wanted to pop in and say hi.  thinigs are actually going fairly well here and i am afraid to post because that always jinxes things on BW (so have avoided you instead  )

liv was sick for 5 days where she ended up eating very little food (had vomiting, then fevers and then 2 1/2 days of diarrhea) and after recovering she was eating with a vengance to regain the weight she lost i guess (she is down to about 23-24 pounds (she is 19 1/2 mo) but is a shortie i guess b/c she is still not "thin"...) and it is now 2 weeks and she is still eating loads and although part of that is her requesting more milk than usual (we often have 3 bottle days now instead of 2) it has also meant she has tried some new foods and some meals have been downright pleasant.  she is calling out for food all the time and going to the pantry and fridge... we have had several nights where she was begging for food before or after her bath at 6:45pm  and we had to go get her a roll or crackers or something or extra milk.

in the last week she tried and liked: homemade fish (i coated fish in mixture of egg, milk, salt and pepper and then dipped in flour and fried ina little olive oil - she practically inhaled it and this is the 3rd time i had tried and first time she touched it)  instead of fish sticks  , black olives, ham, bites from Dh's lamb chop (after 3 pieces she started spitting out so not sure if bad bites or changed her mind), chicken drumstick (vs. her usual white meat pieces - just showing she is more willing to try different forms of same food), sauteed onions

tried but hated and spit out: feta cheese (but i praised her for trying), cous cous, lettuce from my salad - but she was keen to try it, raw red pepper (interested but undecided - has tried it a few times so maybe in the future she will eat it)

[Mom to M&M]

Way to go Debra and Liv!!! So good and encouraging to hear this - hope it continues and glad she's feeling better.

[binxyboo]

I want to join in. Lo has always been a fussy eater, even when he was breastfed. He is a big boy, is 2ft 10 ins and 31 lbs at 14 months, but it has to be genetic taking after my husband, as he doesn't eat much to make him this size. We have just weaned from nursing and now I am more concerned than ever as he doesn't have that to fall back on anymore. The worst part is the frustration I feel about it all, blaming myself and at times blaming lo, wondering why he can't eat like everyone else I see. That makes me feel worse for just thinking that. I try to stay relaxed around meals, but I am sure he must sense how anxious I feel at times, and this in turn makes everything worse, no doubt.

Thanks for letting me vent  &for starting this thread. At least I don't feel alone now.

[Deb_in_oz]

binxyboo- the first and most important thing you need to do is let go of the guilt and anxiety over the food. it was hard for me to do but i do think it helps no one by being worked up at meal times (i used to sit there in tears and that certainly did not lead to better meals so why punish myself like that).  as long as you make sure there are no physical problems, then the next step is accepting that this is who your child is - picky/selective/sensitive (however you look at it) - and continue to offer a wide variety of nutritious foods, then a large part of your job is done. if you can eat with him as often as possible that can lead to many breakthroughs as often they will want to try what we have. if his appetite is just low than that is fine - kids are very good about self-regulating with appetite.

we will help you whenever you need it!