Hi. I just wanted to offer a few thoughts. I'm sure others will post comments as well.
First, How long should activity time be for an 8 week old? She seems to get really stimulated at activity time and then it's hard to get her to sleep. Do I swaddle her at every nap? She seems to hate the swaddler.
At 8 weeks old, I'm guessing 1-1.5 hrs including feeding time would be appropriate for total A time. However, if she's coming into a stage of overtiredness due to short naps, you will want to watch for any tired signs and get her to bed straight away. Have you taken the quiz to determine her temperment. Just from what you've said in this post, she could be a spirited baby, but also could just be tired. Swaddling is a big life saver for most lo's, and, often, the ones that fight it are the ones who need it the most. It can really help when babies are so little and they jerk in their sleep. Also, with the sleep training you'll want to continue working on (shh/pat) the swaddling can help restrict the jerk that can occur at the 45 min transition time.
When she finally does go to sleep, she stays that way without much shh/pat, but then wakes up after about 45 minutes. I haven't gotten her to sleep longer than 45 minutes all day. I go in and try to shh/pat her back to sleep. I even cover her eyes, but she is wide awake and ready to get up. I've tried to shh/pat for up to 25 minutes past the 45 she already slept, but by that time it's time to eat again.
The "45 min nap monster" is very common. I didn't know that, however, until finding BW. The body naturally goes through sleep stages, and the first transition from deep back into light (I think I've got that correct) occurs at 45 mins. Now, shh/pat is the correct technique for her age, but it won't correct the problem in one day. In fact, it could take a week or more. The important thing is to be consistant and use the methods at every sleep. If she is waking up wide-eyed and completely resistant to returning to sleep, you may want to consider wake-to-sleep to see if you can restart her clock so to speak into another sleep cycle before she gets to 45 min. We all know, however, that most babies need more than 45 min naps, so it will be to both your benefits to continue working on sleep training. Try for as long as you both can tolerate (you don't want to send her into hysterics, or until the next feeding time). After a short nap, she'll probably be ready for another nap pretty soon after feeding, but try to avoid her falling asleep while feeding, b/c that just creates another problem to resolve.
What time should I put her down for bed? I've been reading 7:00. That seems so early. I've previously been putting her down at 11:00. How is she expected to sleep through the night if she goes down at 7? I know about the dream feed, but my baby has bad reflux, can I feed her while she is lying down? I'm scared this will make her reflux act up. I don't have a bedtime routine at all. I need some help with that too.
What time does she get up for the day? Generally, babies' days should be about 12 days and 12 nights, so 12 hours from the time she wakes in the morning. Of course, she's not going to sleep straight through for 12 hours right now (although some do). She'll probably need 1-2 feedings at night, or perhaps a night feed and an early morning (4-5 am) feed then back to bed for another hour or two hopefully. As for her reflux and the dreamfeed, I can't answer that. We do have a forum dedicated to reflux issues, or it would be wise to check with her doctor. Even though you've been putting her down around 11, has she not been sleeping before then as well? Can you give us her current routine? A bedtime routine can be as simple as a bath or cloth washing, reading quietly, last feeding for the evening, listening to lullabys, then off to bed.
I hope some of this helped. I'll check back for your reply.
