Accidental Parenting on purpose - sick LO

[Shellha]

Unfortunately due to our 4mo LO being sick with lower respiratory illness, we are having to do what we can to get him to sleep. Last night after an hour of me pat/shhhing, and then DH taking over, my DH got him to sleep on his lap and then transferred him to bed.

He was also awake at 1am, 5am and then 7am and I fed him each time as he wouldn't settle otherwise. It gets him back off to sleep and with him being poorly that's just what he needs.

The reason I am posting is, with this accidental on purpose parenting, will we regress hugely? My DS can occasionally fall straight to sleep alone, but usually it takes 5 mins to get him off with me putting pressure on his legs and shhing him. He was also down to one night waking, going from DF at 10 till 4am - this has gone out the window with him being sick.

Thanks in advance

[rinajack]

My LO was ill recently and for 72 hours straight, I did not even attempt to put her down except for me to go to the toilet.  I even showered with her. Slept with her in my bed.  She would wake coughing every 45 mins, and needed me there.  So I was there.

And she is back to normal now.  It took a few days of noticing that she could handle some time away from me, but I still helped her every time she got upset.  Once she got fully better, she went back to normal.

To keep me sane I tried to take the approach that this is one of the times I can AP to my hearts content without feeling guilty that I am developing really bad habits.  If you think you would do this for your LO whenever they are sick, forever and ever, then you are actually setting up what you will do in the future (that is just my opinion anyway) and the los do know when they are feeling better.  I refuse to fight with a sick baby just to do things "by the book".

Hope your LO is feeling better soon and that you don't get the illnesss - I got my los illness and have been sick for a few weeks now.  Feeling awful still.

[magda1461]

PLease think about how you feel when your sick... all you want is to be comforted, sleep and laze around, my 15wk old had Bronchilitis for 10 days and I threw out the BW book (in a manner of speaking)! let her initiate when she was tired, hungry and wanted to play, You must feed them regulary when theyre sick as they can easily dehydrate so if she wakes at night every 2-3 hours then please feed your baby! they wont take much but its enough to keep them fluids up (just like what the DR's tell us to do..)
Let them sleep when they want and if theyre upset pick them up and comfort them.....I even slept at night with her in my arms as she was having difficulty breathing, another suggestion is that if you want to put her in her bed, make sure its elevated to at least 30degrees, I used her bouncer and let her sleep in that till she was 100% better,,,,!!
HOpe your little one gets better much quicker!!!

[Shellha]

Thanks girls, my thoughts exactly but just wanted some reassurance I guess. I have been feeding alot more regularly than I usually do (even after 2 hours this morning!) as it is all about keeping him as comfy as possible.

I have to say, my DH has LOVED being able to have DS fall asleep on him and provide that comfort without me doing my usual 'put him in his cot, he can't learn to fall asleep on us' rant.

My DH has already caught the dreaded lurgy and I am feeling less than my usual 'fresh' self so no doubt I will soon me contending with it, but better me than DS!

Thanks again

[JennŠ]

Agree with the others.  Do whatever lo needs now.  If, by some wild chance we need to, we can help fix it later.  But I doubt that will happen.

[rebecaq]

Hi there,

I hope you don;t think we are a bunch of routine nazis over here!!!  LOL

BW techniques are focused to be a balance between parents and babies.  If that balance becomes askwed by an illness then by all means go with it!!  It's all about the bond of trust between child and parents, and that's giving them extra TLC when ill.

For example, my ds had surgery when he was 8.5 months old. He had 3 hernias removed. When he got out of the OR the surgeon got me and told me to lay with him in the recovery room.  I did not leave that boy's side until we got home 3 days later. Upon being discharged from the hospital the doc tells me that Sant can't do any strainful movements, such as rolling over, sitting up, crawling etc. This is regarding a spirited boy who rolled over at 3 weeks!!!  So for the next 21 days Santiago was carried all day long, slept between me and dh and just did not leave my side.  I would never have even thought of ignoring the docs orders OR my son's need for me.

When he was able to be on his own it took about 4 days to get him back on EASY.  I just did my best to not do uneeded AP, like nursing him to sleep etc.   I just tried to not do too much damage that would included removing a prop, sleep training and adapting to a new routine KWIM?

Take care of your ds and give him all the love and attention he needs. Just don't lose sight of the fact that he will get better and some spoiling he may not actually need.

Big Big {{{{HUGs}}}}

- Beca 

[rinajack]

I too did not feed to sleep or anything like that.  But lots and lots and lots of holding - a dummy, but we already had that prop, a whole other story.

[andrea21]

Michelle...

You might find once you get home and charlie isn't sick and everything is back to normal things will go back to normal...

It is a big trip not just for charlie but you two,and been you a feeding him it might be going thru your milk.I no DD and Ds were out of whack for a least one week when we fly,but they weren't sick either...

Hope things are looking up...

Andrea....