Focusing a baby on bfing!!

[Wei]

Hi ladies,

I've been having this problem for almost a couple weeks now and tried to deal with it on my own but it just doens't seem to be getting any better.  My LO is 10 weeks today and lately she has been getting really distracted while bfing.  She has been on 3 hour easy for almost 5 weeks now and we have made huge progress in the last 2 weeks for sleep... hooray!!

The problem is, it is random depending how well she eats during the day and I find that quite often (89% of the time) while I am nursing her she gets really distracted after 7-8 minutes and will grab at things... fuss a bit and what not.  She will also turn her eyes up towards my face and smile at me while eating... and start to laugh.  Once she does that, she'll come right off and just want to have a smiling contest with me.  I just think she's the cutest thing...but it really poses a problem after a while because our 20 min bf time now turns into 40 min.  On days where she is like this ALL the time, I end up with 2 feeds at night (I've been keeping a log).. and on days where she is only like this for 1 or 2 feeds, I get 1 feed at night or she sleeps right thorugh.  So obviously this is affecting her intake somewhat.  I love her smiles, but I wish she would just eat seriously first and then I can spend all the time in the world playing with her!!

I have thought about giving EBM but I have had problems with using some pumps so am pretty frustrated...besides, she can extract way more milk than any pump i've used.  I just want to use this only as a last last resort.

Your advice is greatly valued!!  THanks once again.

Wei

[RachelC]

Wei, it is so frustrating when they are so cute 

Can you feed her in a dark and quiet room?  How about laying down (I know lots of women who have found great sucess that way).  A bottle may not change things either, as she will probably still look around... and then she has a "toy" to try to grab on to as well.

I know there are nursing beads (a colorful necklace) which would keep her attention towards you... just a thought.

Others, I'm sure, will pop in here as well

Good luck

[binxyboo]

Oh how I remember those days.......Your lo is just getting older and developing right on track. Think of it this way, do you finish all your beverages/meals in one go without pausing to look at something, talk to someone etc? Frustrating I know, but try some of the suggestions in the pp. I wish you better luck than I ever had!

[Wei]

What is pp? sorry...  a little behind on the lingo here.

And yes, you are right... it is so hard when they are such cuties!!  I tried going into a room with little light but then she just uses me as her distraction so I tried closing my eyes and ignoring her but when I squint and peek through she's still giggling and smiling.  She thinks I'm playing a REALLY long game of peekaboo!!  lol!

Wei

[RachelC]

pp = previous poster

Here's more:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=56213.0

[Nay - Mateo's Mom]

I don't miss those day at all! and yes it's sooo much harder to deal with it when they're the cutest baby in the world!!

I used to place a colourful bracelet around my bra strap. (the side that he was nursing on) that way he would reach up to touch it and not feel the need to look around for another distraction.

HTH (hope that helps)

Nay

Oh, he had these little baby bracelet rattles (velcro closure) I would wrap those around my bra strap.

[binxyboo]

Maybe singing might work. Now that I think of it I think that was our most successful distraction. HTH

[Wei]

Thanks for the suggestions but I think the problem is getting worse and it's affecting her feeds.

These past 3-4 of days she will latch on and eat really heartily for 5-10 min and then come off.  But my breast hasn't been drained yet.  If I try to put her back on she will SCREAM and cry like there is no tomorrow.  In fact, if I put her down in an incline to bring her to the cradle hold she will scream too... she has to be sitting up ( I guess she knows if she's sitting up she's not having a feed).  I thought at first maybe she's just really really efficient so I let it go.  But, then she will wake up really early from her nap before her next feed starving.  Also, since this has started doing this her second night time feed has come back so I know she is not getting enough feeds in the day, yet I can't make her eat anymore than 5-10 min without her screaming in protest (and she will push the nipple out with her tongue unless my let down is there...she will just eat anyway).

I'm not too sure what to do!  Is this just a phase??  I don't mind her bobbing on and off...but I hate to do AP by not doing something now that I should!  DD is 11 weeks now.

Someone please tell me this is a phase and will pass!?!?!

Wei

[binxyboo]

Do you feed her when she wakes up early from naps hungry or try to stretch until next feed time. I know that by feeding again so soon you are reinforcing it and probably helping the snacking phase to go on. All I can share with you is my own personal experience. We didn't ever stck with the strict EASY, but modified it to suit whatever was going on with lo that day eg EAESY or whatever. In fact, when he was tired he would often nurse for longer periods all snuggled up. Sometimes fell asleep, sometimes didn't. You just have to be comfortable with whatever you chose to do. I think the term AP is getting a bad rap and being blamed for all sorts of things. People who chose to parent that way obviously have no issue with things that come up as a result. There are lots of people on this site who I am sure will be on to help if you definitely want to escape the falling to sleep while eating issue

Edit: I think I misread AP as attachment parenting, now I am sure you meant accidental parenting...

[Wei]

Thanks, she doesn't have any problems staying awake after bfing... thanks to EASY we got her away from that.

Mostly, I just wasn't sure if these little feeds can be changed.  I have been fighting her to get her back on to eat during the times she should be eating and hopefully she'll get the idea soon enough.  Also, doing a bit of EAEASY too.  I may have to express milk and give that to her at later feeds when she is hungry.

if she wakes up early from naps b/c of hunger from not eating more than 5 min the previous one I do'nt  make her wait as she is very very upset if we do'tn feed her.  She does not take pacifiers and uses her own fist to soothe but when hungry... she does not eat her fist!!

I am hoping to increase her awake time to 1.5 hrs so that I can put her on more of a 3 HR EASY instead of a 2.5-3 HR EASY.  I am hoping that will solve my problem with these short feeds.  And then gradually build her up to 4 HR EASY by around 4.5 mos or whenever she's ready.

I was just afraid she'd get used to thinking night time was feeding time again.  Originally she had her days and nights all mixed up when we first brought her home.

Wei

[tams]

I'm currently having exactly the same problem with my 14 wk old. it is so frustrating, isn't it! She feeds for a few mins, then pulls away and stares at me and smiles. when I try encourage her to continue feeding she pushes my breast away with her hand and fusses. Feeding is really drawn out and when I give up due to her lack of interest, she is then wanting to feed again in about 45mins, so she ends up snacking. then, like you, I'm finding she is waking up during the night. I would love to know how to solve this..

[Wei]

Tams,

Yes it is frustrating and cute all at once (except when they scream as you try to put them back on your breast)!!  Have you tried bottle feeding breast milk yet?  I'm going to try that soon as I buy myself a pump.

Wei