I'm trying not to let it get to me too much now.... I'm a little less frustrated with it now because as you said, if the nap isn't quite long enough and I can't extend, I don't kill myself with constantly trying to extend, I pop her in the swing and off she goes.....
Fantastic attitude & half the battle - i used to get really stressed if naps didn't go to plan, now i just recalculate a times and off we go again - also used to worry if pm catnap was too early as the book said no longer than 45 mins!!! - sometime have to extend to 1 hr or more on 3rd nap if i can and have had no props with not settling at night as yet - just make sure to wake at least 1 hrs before bath & bed and we're doing just fine. Keep at it girl, it will come together soon