Author Topic: 4 month night wakings  (Read 1816 times)

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Offline texasmom

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4 month night wakings
« on: September 24, 2006, 11:58:17 am »
I have posted here many times, and I hope I am not a huge bother.  I'm just having a hard time this morning.  Sometimes things seem to be getting better, and then I get so discouraged b/c then they don't seem to be getting better at all.  I don't know if there's anything you can do to help.  I just wonder how long this is going to go on.  Last night my LO woke at 11:00 (fed him), 1:10, 2:40, 3:10, 4:20, 5:00, and 6:20.  I thought I had figured out that if I get good naps in, feed him well, and get him to bed well, he would sleep well.  Yesterday and last night just threw me off.  We had 7 good nights in a row, and yes, I was ever so thankful, then two bad nights (explainable - bad naps), then two good, and then last night.  If I felt like I understood why last night was bad, I would feel like I could at least fix it, but I don't know what happened.  He woke up really late yesterday (he usually wakes every morning at 5:30, but sometimes will sleep longer and sometimes plays for a little bit, and then I get him to sleep longer, but 6:40 has been the latest).  Yesterday he woke at 5:30, I went in to reposition, and he slept till 7:40.  I didn't wake him b/c he NEVER does that, and I figured he needed to sleep.  So he woke, and then he was tired super early.  I didn't put him down b/c I thought I had to be wrong about him being tired.  He is never tired that early and I thought that he really wouldn't be tired since he slept so long.  Anyway, first nap was rough going down b/c I waited so long.  (shorter A time than normal, but still too long for him)  The rest of the day went the same.  First nap was  1 1/2, second was 2 1/2.  Bed was 7.  So I guess he was overtired?!?  But he slept almost 16 hours yesterday and normally he does great on about 14 or around there.  I'm almost positive he wasn't hungry.  Maybe that was just one fluke night.  I don't know.  This lack of sleep is just taking such a toll on our family.  I get really scared when I read in the night waking support group, and people still have 1 year olds doing this.  I guess I just thought this is a matter of time, and he will be learning independent sleep soon, and then when he wakes, he will be able to put himself back to sleep.  As of now, we go in, reposition him, sometimes put in paci, and pat briefly.  I know that sounds easy, and I am glad for that, but when he wakes every hour an a half, which is what he does when he has a waking night, I JUST fall asleep when he wakes again.  So basically I don't sleep at all.  And I sure hate to sound so selfish.  This is my sweet baby, and I love him so much.  I just physically don't function on this little sleep.  I wish I were different.  You may not have any advice for me but to just keep doing what I'm doing.  Do you have any wisdom about how MOST babies do - whether they grow out of this and around what age?  Or maybe babies are all different?     

Thanks for listening and for any thoughts you have. 

Info you may need:  We're on a 4 hour EASY.  He has long A times (2-3 hours - but usually 2.25-2.5, depending on whether it's 1st nap, etc...)  I've done a lot of experimenting with A times and shorter ones create major problems (screaming at nap time and 45 min naps).  This way he goes down a lot easier and sleeps longer.  Mostly we have 2-3 naps, depending on how long they are.  We've always had night wakings, but they had started to get better once I got him napping better (by giving longer A times).  He goes to bed b/w 6:30 and 8, but usually around 7:30. 

I don't do a DF b/c it caused more night wakings.

On the nights when we don't have night wakings, he wakes one time to eat and then sleeps till 5:30, we go in to reposition and maybe give paci (I don't know why he needs the repositioning), and lately he's been sleeping about an hour longer.  Those nights are fantastic.  So it's usually either a night like that or a night like the one I described above.  Sometimes he does have just one other night waking. 

More info:  Bottle fed, when i go in he is just grunting or talking, but we've tried waiting, and it escalates to crying, possible prop is paci, lovie in bed, but he doesn't use it, no cereal. 

Thank you,
Brooke


Offline linfran

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2006, 18:05:02 pm »
Sending you a huge squishy hug being someone else who just doesn't function without sleep.

It's not that you have to go in and just give him a paci or a little pat down, its the fact that you have to get up at all and when you're in bed you lie there just listening for the next noise.

Does he fuss or cry when he wakes at night? 

The reason I ask is that ds is 7mo and whilst he normally sleeps pretty well we have had nights EXACTLY like yours with the multiple wakings.  It only seems to happen when he's teething or has had a bit of a cold.  Could your ds be teething yet (lo got his first two at 3.5mo, so I guess it's never too early)?

Sometimes also as ds is getting more mobile he's starting to move about and it's taken a bit of time for him to learn to resettle.  For my own sanity I have turned dwn the volume on the baby monitor (ds wet into own room at 3.5 mo as he outgrew the crib) so I only hear the crying and not every little snort, giggle, burp, fart, cough or sneeze that ds cares to make.

Offline M and N's Mom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2006, 18:26:40 pm »
Sending you hugs too!  I HATE trying to function on little sleep. 

My 2 thoughts are

1 - is the paci a prop that he is waking for? (my DD didn't have a problem, but my DS sure did and we had to take it away at 4 months)
2 - your EASY seems like it is flexible, which can be good but some lo's need a consistent routine.  Could you pick a routine and really try to follow it faithfully for a couple of weeks and see if it makes a difference?  With my DD that made all the difference in the world...exactly the same nap time, bedtime, etc. every day.

Good luck.


Offline torontomamma

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2006, 11:39:23 am »
Hugs to you!

My DD is 7 mos now and is getting better, but I must say the 4-5 month period seemed to be the most unpredictable and difficult - whether it was teething, or developmental I will never know, but it seemed as soon as I had it figured out it changed again.  We are still being challenged with early wakings, but the night wakings have gotten much better - so hang in there!

How did last night go?
Hope you got some sleep, I know how you feel   ;)

Jaime
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Offline Gina.

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2006, 13:47:52 pm »
God!! I know exactly how you  feel!
I am afraid I have no advice - just wanted to tell you that my son is doing the exact same thing! He is on 4 hrs EASY, perfect during the day, but a nightmare at night - last night he woke up at 11:30, 3:30 (did not go back to sllep until 4:45), then woke up at 5:30, 6, 6:30 and 7:30, AND this has been going on for the past 3 weeks.

Good luck, and it you find something that works, please share...
Love,
Gina
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Offline SanMarcosmom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2006, 17:09:20 pm »
HI everyone!
I am in a similar boat....... my little mason has been taking 45-60 minute naps
and waking at nighttime, but my husband and I have had to feed him a couple of times!
Typically, we could put the paci in his mouth and all would be well for awhile.
NOt anymore! It's getting harder and hearder ot get him to go down and stay down.

How does having a cold affect their sleep?

thanks!
Kathy - also a texas mom.  ;) 

Offline linfran

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2006, 17:11:44 pm »
When Jason has a cold he wakes up because either he coughs or his nose gets bunged up so he can't breathe right.  Thank heaven for Karvol and Snufflebabe, they unblock his nose a bit.  I also try raising the head of his mattress a bit - seems to help ease his cough, I've no idea why, my mum tol me she used to do this with me.

Offline SanMarcosmom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2006, 17:16:24 pm »
Linfran
what is Karvol and Snufflebabe?
 :)
kathy

Offline linfran

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2006, 17:20:27 pm »
I'm in the UK so I don't know what the US (or anywhere else!) equivalent is.

Karvol are capsules filled with eucalyptus type liquide and you cut a capsule open and sprinkle it on the baby's bedclothese (out of reach of little fingers) so it gives off a vapour to keep the nose clear.

Snufflebabe is a vapour rub that youput on the baby's chest to help breathing.

Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2006, 17:51:30 pm »
Hi Brooke, sorry to hear that things are a little rough again.  :(  I agree that you need to be more consistent with your routine. I would also suggest not letting him nap longer than 2 hrs at a time. Longer will often mess with nights.
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o


Offline SanMarcosmom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2006, 20:32:20 pm »
thank you linfran!
 :) :) :)

Offline texasmom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #11 on: September 25, 2006, 21:42:31 pm »
linfran,
thanks so much for the encouragement.  when he wakes, we go in immediately b/c when we wait, it turns into crying.  better for us to just get him back to sleep rather than lie there waiting for the inevitable.  ya know?  but we did go to the pediatrician today, and he said he is teething.  soo...  that could be it.  just hard to distinguish b/c we've always had trouble with night wakings.  i did talk to the doc about night wakings, and he said only 50% of 4 month olds sleep through the night.  so i guess i will just keep hoping...  thanks again. 

M & Ns Mom,
the paci could be a prop.  i'm just not sure b/c we don't use it every time.  what seems to be a prop is his sleeping position.  weird?!  i don't know.  i have been thinking and thinking about weaning the paci.  i told myself i would at 4 months.  it just seems hard on top of this other stuff.  but i am pretty much ready to do it. 

M & N's Mom AND Colin Mac's Mom,
good word on the routine.  could you help me with that?  i don't know what to do since he wakes at different times in the morning.  i guess that's why we're flexible, and i have never known how to fix it.  did the routine help you with night time sleep?  he wakes every morning at 5:30, but i can't always get him right back to sleep.  sometimes he goes right back and other times he plays around a little and then goes back.  so what do i do with that?  i can easily do bedtime at the same time every night.  i can't make sure he falls asleep... does that matter?  what do you think of how he seems to wake b/c he doesn't like his sleep postion?  i think i want to get rid of his positioner.  it's inclined, and he wiggles off.  then he wants back up.  ugh.  i started using it b/c of reflux and him not liking open spaces.  (before i understood about swaddling)  thanks for your help. 

torontomamma,
last night was a little better.  he woke three times - 11, 1:15, and 3.  better, but not great.  it made me feel better, though, when you said 4 months is hard and that it will improve. 

Gina and San MarcosMom,
hope things get better for you too.  i think i'm on it for the paci weaning AND the consistent sleep times.  i'll let you know if it works. 

i think we're in for a rough night.  he has not napped much.  went to the doc and ran some errands.  that is what makes this so hard.  when you have to go do things.  oh well... 

take care and thanks. 

Brooke



Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #12 on: September 25, 2006, 21:50:15 pm »
Brooke, has Collin started rolling yet? Sorry if I already asked, I was just thinking that most start that development around 4 mo and it usually makes nighttime miserable for a bit. I wonder if that's why he's wiggling off his positioner? I agree that it might do you some good to get rid of the positioner at this point. If he still needs to sleep elevated then just stick a book or something under one end of his mattress.

Of course I'm happy to help with your routine - but remind me, are you on 4 hour EASY now?
Jessica
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Offline texasmom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2006, 19:23:44 pm »
Hi Jessica,
Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner.  I was gone all day yesterday, and my mother-in-law had Collin.  So happy to tell you that Collin has done really well the past two nights.  Just woke one time to eat (no DF) and slept till 6:40 yesterday and 5:45 today.  This is in spite of terrible naps on Monday (went to the doctor and he got shots - he was all out of sorts).  And mother in law is not good at putting him down, so yesterday was not so hot either.   

So yes, Collin is rolling. 

I am on a 4 hour EASY, and I think I can make a routine for him, but thank you for offering.  I just had a few questions about GETTING him on a routine. 

1 - If he wakes at different times each day, do I pick a time to wake him up if he's not awake OR do I put him down for a nap regardless of when he wakes? 
2 - If he isn't tired enough to fall asleep at nap time, do I just leave him in his crib?  Does that count?  He will probably play. 
3 - If he wakes early - I know to try SP, but if he won't sleep, leave in crib, rock? 
4 - If he wakes early and gets tired for the next nap early, do I keep him up till the scheduled time? 

Ok, I'm kind of sitting on the fence about all of this.  Do you mind if I share with you a couple of thoughts? 

I just don't know if I want to have a strict routine.  I had a kind of aha moment when I was thinking about what you said...  I don't think I ever understood that a routine means wake up, naps, and bedtime are at the same time every day...  I know... pretty stupid!  I guess I just read that Tracy said times are not so important as routine, and I just never got it.  So here is where I am right now...  I like things being flexible.  I THINK.  I mean, it's never been any other way.  Another thing is that I feel like I want him to sleep when he's tired.  I don't want to keep him up or wake him up.  It makes me feel soo guilty.  Is it not good for a baby not to be on a routine?  I'm not ruling it out, and I think you guys are probably right about it helping.  I guess I just forsee how hard it will be to get thered and not even sure I want to be so strict about it.  So dh said let's just try what we're doing now since things really do seem to be getting better, and then if they don't continue to get better, I will do a strict routine.  And in the meantime, I won't complain since this is a choice I'm making. 

Mostly I just wanted to ask you those questions about getting on a routine and what you thought about babies not being on a strict one.  And maybe it really is a good thing once you get there.  I just wanted to know what you thought about that if you don't mind sharing. 

Thanks Jessica. 

Oh, I took the sleep positioner out of his crib, and it seems to be ok. 

Brooke

Offline Colin Macs Mom

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Re: 4 month night wakings
« Reply #14 on: September 27, 2006, 19:37:14 pm »
Brooke,

EASY is supposed to be flexible. We're not talking about a STRICT routine here - or rather a schedule - erm, at least I'm not.  ;)  I mean, babies can't tell time so if things are flexible then what's the harm? The key is to be reasonably flexible though, and have a guideline. Does that make sense? You don't want to deviate hugely. Flexibility is a good thing, but at the same time babies thrive on consistency and familiarity - knowing what will come next. So you need to find a balance there that works for everyone. It really is important to be consistent, but that doesn't mean that you need to do everything at the precise same time each day.

To answer your questions... I think that what you do depends on Collin's temperment and how flexible he can be. You're always going to have off days here and there - that's life. So if he wakes early and you're 30 minutes off for the day, whatever, it's fine. At least that's my opinion. Keep him on track as much as you can but don't set him up to fail or get him into a cycle of overtiredness, or something like that. Part of the beauty of routines is that it makes it easier to see when they need a change, like longer A time.

Hope that all makes sense!
Jessica
Mom to Colin Ronald, August 18, 2005
Spirited + Reflux =  :o