Won't Nap for Mum

[SavageNelson]

In advance, I am sorry for the long message.  I wanted to include as much detail as possible in case it was helpful to the analysis of my issue. 

We have a baby boy that is six weeks old today.  We just started our EASY program yesterday, and it has been a bit rocky (I know I need to be patient)  .  Our LO (little one, right?) Jamie can easily become overtired, but he does not fall asleep by himself very well.  The kicker is that as hard as he is to get down for my husband, he is 100 times worse for me.  When I have him, he wails before and after I put him down, and I have been completely unable to get him to relax (stop crying) at all with the pat/shh method (I have a question about that too - see below).  I then end up in an endless cycle of picking him up and putting him back down, only to have him start immediately wailing again until he is picked up.  Once I was able to put him down and he was calm for a moment until I walked away, and then the wails started again.  Any advice as to what I can do, or has any other mother encountered this?  I probably created this problem as he used to nap in my arms, but although I am the cause, hopefully there is nonetheless a solution. 

As background to our EASY attempts, yesterday he ate at 7:30 am, and then yawned a couple of times so I tried to put him down sooner at 8:10, and he ultimately fell asleep at 10:10 and then was quickly up again at 10:30. I then decided to feed him and start the process over (since almost three hours had passed).  He ate at 10:45 (a short 9 minute feed) and pretty much fell asleep at the breast, but I did change him before I put him down at 11 (he is VERY hard to wake once asleep).  I woke him at 1 pm, and he ate at 1:10 (another short 7 minute feed).  He was hardly awake and went right back to sleep at 1:30, despite my efforts to keep him awake.  I woke him at 3 (again, not easily) and he ate again, this time for a bit longer in total minutes (although he broke off of the breast for a few, and then went back).  This time, he was more awake and we looked at a mobile in his crib (he is sleeping in a basinette now, but we plan on moving him to the crib).  He started to yawn, so after the second one, I attempted to swaddle him to put him down at around 3:45.  At that time, he started to become completly unglued at the idea of swaddling.  From there on, I tried to put him down (and he fought relentlessly) until it was time for him to eat again at 5:35 (he seemed hungry so I fed him).  After this feeding, I did a bath at 6, and then tried to put him down at 6:30, to no avail.  Finally, my husband gave him a bottle at 7:45 (we are doing one bottle at night to make sure he will take it, but it is breast milk).  Jamie finally fell asleep at 8:30.  I tried the slumber feed-thing at 10:30pm, but Jamie wouldn't cooperate.  He instead ate at 12am, 3:30am and then at 6:30am (which starts our day two). 

Today has been a bit better schedule-wise, although we could not get him down for his nap (S) that should have taken place after the 6:30 am EA.  He has been down for two naps, one at 10:00am and the other at 1:30pm.  However, I was not the one to put him down.  My husband stayed home from work today and has been helping me since yesterday was so difficult.  He got the baby to calm down, not me.  Hence, my request for help. 

Also, on pat/shh, the thread posted by Diego's Mom was a bit confusing.  It states that the pat/shh method is done by placing the baby on his side and then patting his back.  It also at one point references patting his chest.  First, I thought I was ALWAYS supposed to put my baby on his back to sleep, so how do I pat his back?  Second, if I am patting his back, why was there a reference to his chest?  Basically, if someone could better clarify how to effect the pat/shh method on a baby on his back, that would be most helpful.

Thanks!!

[barbarab]

Just wanted to say that your e-mail is pretty much identical to my problems so thinking of you - I know someone will have some advice for you - we too have just started the EASY - and had a good day today but a nightmare the day before so I think its trial and error.  Good luck - you and lo will soon get the hang of it.  I just take each day as it comes. LOL x

[barbarab]

Stacy, that was the advice that you gave to me and, touch wood, it worked last night and has worked all day today so definetly worth trying. LOL x

[SavageNelson]

Stacy and Barbara, thanks so much for the advice and support.  It is really helpful to know that there are others out there who can help.     I do think our wind down routine could use some work, and we will focus on that.

I do, however, have a few follow up questions.  Basically, Jamie seems to get tired immediately after Eating, and yawns when on the changing table.  As a result, we find that we are trying to put him down to Sleep soon without a lot of Awake time.  He then complains strenuously about being put down (it starts at the swaddle), and can sometimes be up through to the next nap.  As a result, Jamie only seems to Sleep well (and go down without a huge fight) every other nap.  Also, my husband and I feel like the only time we are spending with Jamie is trying to put him down.  So, here are the questions:

1.  Is it normal for a six week old to only have about 20-30 minutes of Awake time?

2.  Is it normal for a six week old to dislike naps and fight off sleep?

3.  Should I try to extend the Awake time even if he yawns a few times?

4.  Is picking him up after he has been crying (as Stacy suggested) part of the shush-pat method?  Is that the same as pu-pd?  Jamie certainly would prefer that we pick him up (and we do when his crying escalates or when he breaks free of his swaddle), but we were concerned that repeatedly picking him up wasn't good for a six week old. 

Again, thanks for the help and support.  We are really committed to our EASY program, it just is hard when it seems like we never spend time with the baby, and what little time we do spend is fighting about the nap.  THANKS!!!

[SavageNelson]

Stacy, again, thanks for the response.  We will keep working at the naps, and it is comforting to know that Jamie's fighting the same isn't unusual.  Unfortunately, I am still concerned about the 20-30 mins of Awake time (this includes the feeding), but if it also includes the time trying to get him down, and the shush-pat, then I think we are well into an hour and 15 mins or so.  I just wish our Awake time was filled with something more fun for both of us.  Anyhoo, thank you again for your help and feedback.  I will let you know how we are getting on.  Take good care, Liz

[SavageNelson]

Sorry to keep asking questions, but is it normal to take over an hour of shush-patting (after wind down) to get a six week old to fall asleep?  Jamie seems to fall asleep and then in two minutes or so opens his eyes, and I need to start the whole process over again (he cannot put himself back to sleep, at least he hasn't yet).  When I shush-pat, I stand over him with my hands on him long after his eyes have closed just to try to catch him if he flails or opens his eyes, but this doesn't seem to matter.  This long drawn out process also interferes with the timing of his next feeding.  Any thoughts?  Thanks so much! 

[SavageNelson]

We start the wind down as soon as he starts to act tired, i.e. at the first or second yawn.  However, that means we are most of the time starting the wind down IMMEDIATELY after feeding (he is usually yawning as soon as I start his diaper change).  So, in essence, we are in a cycle of E/S, with almost no A except for wind down for the nap, which is no fun for him or for us since it is a fight on his part - he starts to scream as soon as he realizes he is being swaddled.  We are trying to stay positive about the routine, but it is hard when I spend hours on end shush-patting Jamie to sleep...and doing very little else with him.  Thanks again for your help.

[chrissy5050]

I am also glad to read this post my LO (9 weeks) is also a 20 minute napper.  His first morning nap is fine but as the day gets later naps get worse.  He goes right down no problem. Activity stops as soon as he yawns or begins to fuss. Ussually he is awake for an hour total time before nap time.  We go in to his dark room and change, swaddle, put on white noise humudifier, play lullaby cd or womb sounds, swaddle, shhsshhshh, pat bum breifly, give kiss, and say time for a nap.  All of this takes 3-5 minutes and he ussually falls right to sleep only to wake up in 15- 20 minutes.I guess I need to start winding down sooner?  It happens all the time and then he is fussy and cranky.. I most certainly have a touchy or spirited baby.  He is so sensitve and can be very fussy very often.  I will keep checking back for any other ideas.