Am in need of success stories

[CanadianMama]

Hello All!

I have read through some of the posts related to my own dilemma and am still feeling like I am stuck...and will be for some time.  Like most, I am 2-3 weeks away from baby #2 and have had my 20 month old in a "bed" (mattress on the floor in her new room) for about 3 weeks now.  My DH just got home from work after being gone for 17 days and ever since he got home, putting my dd to sleep/nap is torture!!!!
For the first little while I put her to sleep in her bed, she was fine, then she got up a few times but I would bring her back to bed and that was that.  Now, I literally have to sit beside her bed and continuously put her down as she tries to escape from her bed.  Then I can spend anywhere up to 2 hours in there until she falls asleep...she doesn't cry, she just gets up and out of bed.  It's driving me crazy...maybe this was too soon to move her to a big bed but I think we've invested too much time in to quit now.  Does anyone have any suggestions? 
She also wakes up at 1:30 am every morning and comes into our bed, is this something that wake-to-sleep would help and if so, how do we do it?
I guess I am just frustrated at being so close to peace, and then shot back down...was hoping to get some rest in before baby#2 shows up, then I guess will present even more problems (dd waking when babes wakes in the night, etc).
Has anyone tried a baby gate at the door to keep them in their room?  That was suggested to me, if I close the door on her, she gets hysterical.  I'll tell ya, it is getting quite uncomfortable at 37 weeks pregnant to be sitting on the floor in dd's room for over an hour.
If anyone can share success stories, it would be greatly appreciated, or any suggestions. 
If dd is tired, we have no problems getting her to nap or go down for the night...but if there is even an ounce of oomph left in her, it's a 2 hour affair and I'm so tired of it. 
I miss having her in her crib as she would talk to her stuffed animals for 5 minutes and then was out until morning.  Now she wakes in the night and comes to our room and wakes up early.  I guess this is good practise for me for when the baby comes...ha ha ha!

Thanks
Janine

[tylersmommy]

We do shut the door to Tyler's room when it's sleep time. We had the same problem with him wandering out and it drove me nuts. He didn't like having his door shut at first, but I did WI/WO combined with verbal reassurance from outside his door to get him used to it. Now he really likes his alone time in there. A baby gate does the same thing so you might try that. We also couldn't care less what he does in there as long as he isn't crying. At the beginning, we had tons of quiet toys in there for him, like books, trains, stuffed animals, etc. He stayed up for hours happily playing and didn't get much sleep for a couple of weeks, but it helped him feel secure in his room and like being in there. We still keep lots of books in there and don't care if he gets out of bed to empty his dresser, read, or whatever, as long as he's not crying. He often falls asleep in the middle of the floor, but he does fall asleep eventually. For me, insisting that he stay in his bed is pointless...he'll fall asleep when he's tired.

If she's gotten used to you being in her room, you might have to be more gradual in your approach and move a little closer to the door each time you put her down until you're out of the room. Hopefully your DH can help out now that he's back!

[Ennypen]

I think thats excellent advice!!

If I were you I would go for having a baby gate and do just as Melissa says and let her get used to feeling safe in her room and in her new bed.. make sure her room is as safe as you can make it and leave her to it.. if it were me Id have a monitor on so I coud hear what was happening.. she will eventually start to realise what the bed is for and pop into it to go to sleep xxx

H xx

[Florencia]

well i'm afraid i don't have much else to add. Just the simpathy of feeling the creeps when they seem to be on the ON mode forever. I would also get all annoyed at ds not going to sleep but now i just go with the flow as Melissa says... as long as he's not crying he'll go to sleep whenever he wants. As soon as i let him be, the war stopped and we all were much happier. Yes, he was cranky for a few days but he caught up without me MAKING him sleep. I could do that when he was a baby but once he became a toddler MAKING him sleep was impossible. I just made him understand what sleep time was and what was expected of him (do not hurt yourself, do not come out of the room) and what he could expect of me (see you in the morning, see you later, only coming in if he was really distressed).

I've seen many lo's around here that seem to get an extra battery a few weeks before their little siblings are born. It seems that they feel some of their parent's pressure and express it in the way of hyperactivity. I'm sure she'll grow out of this if you don't give much negative attention to it.

Let us know how you get on and if we can think of something else.

Good luck!

[CanadianMama]

I want to thank you all for your ideas first, since I posted this we have put up the baby gate but I honestly don't think I can do it much more.  Our whole routine has been turning upside down and baby 2 is coming any day.  I'm at the point where I won't be able to get baby 2 into a routine because I will still be trying to get Taryn back to a routine.
Last night she came into our room twice and I was able to put her back in bed no problem, then at 5:30am she came in again and we (my husband and I) spent until 7:30am trying to get her back to sleep.  The major problem I have been having with letting her "play" in her room until she is tired and goes to sleep by herself is that it takes sometimes 2+ hours to get her to nap and when she wakes up...LOOK OUT!  She is having the WORST temper fits ever, screaming, hitting, biting, pulling clothes...my husband is horrified as he has never seen her like this (I have once or twice...but he works out of town and seems like he's never home for the "good" stuff).  Our routine was fairly consistant before but I am worried that if I put her down for her nap earlier (like back to 11:00am) that she will play for her two hours and be hungry for lunch.
I don't know what to do, but I am exhausted...mostly because I am so pregnant...we never had Taryn on a scheduled routine until she was about 8 months old and it was magical after that so this is driving me bananas. 
She doesn't cry in her room, just reads her books for 2 HOURS!!!  My dh put her down to nap one time while I was in town, and she finally fell asleep but he woke her at 3:30pm because that's getting a little late, and told her to go get her coat from the closet (they were going to take our dog outside) and a few minutes later, he went back to see what was taking so long and she was asleep in the closet...ha ha ha!  Obviously she still needs to sleep but...I guess my long-winded question is... do we keep doing what we are doing???  Or do we keep doing what we are doing, wait for baby 2 to appear and take it from there, maybe changing things if we need?
Has anyone else had trouble with their almost two-year olds when they have another baby?
Am I just being too impatient?  My husband goes back to work at the beginning of November and I don't know what I'll do when I have a two (or so) week old and a toddler that don't sleep well.  I'll be the first to admit I am absolutely terrified.

Sorry so long, just had to get some stuff out as my dear dear husband is still ASLEEP!!!! Ha ha ha

Janine

[tylersmommy]

How is she coming into your room? Can she get out of the baby gate?

I'm not sure what to tell you at this point...it can take time for the routine to come back, and we did have a nasty few weeks while we waited for Tyler to adjust. We did put him down for naps and bedtime earlier to try and compensate for playtime, we just switched up his morning meals a bit and gave him lunch or a snack right before naptime. It's really up to you how you want to proceed from here. I'm due about the same time as you so I know that it can't be easy, and I don't know if I could have dealt with the bed transition at this point in my pregnancy! Let us know what you decide, we're here to help!

[CanadianMama]

We were taking the baby gate down...not sure why, really.  Yesterday for her nap, I had some errands to do so my hubby put her down at 12:00pm and she was so tired that she went right to sleep.  I came home at 1:00pm and she must've heard the door, b/c she woke up and I tried to get her to sleep for a while longer, but no such luck.  So last night we went for our usual walk, had a bath, snack and then she was in bed at 8:00pm and I only had to go back once to lay her down (I walked past her room and she heard me and got up) and then she slept right until the ripe hour of 3:00am where she stood at the baby gate and cried for mommy.  So I went in, put her back in bed and said, "It's time to sleep." I thought she went back to sleep and waited until 3:30am to go pee (and almost exploded...the joys, right?).  She wasn't quite sleeping so of course she hears me down the hallway and back at the baby gate she is so on the way back to our room, I put her back in bed...not saying anything this time and tried to go to sleep myself.  She did not sleep, I heard everytime she rolled over, then she came back to the baby gate and cried a little then stopped.  So I think, "If she wants to sleep at the gate, then fine" but she started kicking the gate, still not crying and then kicking the door, then when you think that it's been quiet enough for so long that she must be asleep, she starts crying for mommy.  So I would tell her, "Taryn, it's just time to sleep." and we did this until almost 5 am when I had a meltdown...busted out into tears and told my hubby that all I wanted was to sleep.  But of course, being a mom, anything you hear coming from your child's room you hear  and are listening for so it makes it hard to sleep, even when hubby is in with her...but then I went to get some water and see him rocking her...no no no...I told him to get out...put her in bed...wrapped her tighter than a cocoon with her blankets...gave her "Lambie" to tuck under her arm and told her to sleep.  She cried out a couple times after that, not sure what times but I finally heard her "reading" her books at 7:50am so at least she slept for a long while after that.
I am going to keep plugging along because, really, what else can we do at this point.  I am hoping she will have longer than a one hour nap so I can sleep too this afternoon.  My husband left this morning to fly out to Vancouver for 3 days , his grandma passed away last week and her funeral is tomorrow.  Thank goodness my mom is coming later today in case I go into labor.
Anyway, thanks for the encouragement anyway...I really appreciate it!

Janine